Every Donation & Share Helps Me!

Aloha from Maui, Hawai’i ~

My name is CarolAnn Barrows and I need your help.

Briefly ~

Due to a previous case of virally caused encephalitis (inflammation of the brain), I am immunocompromised and need ongoing specialized care in order to be able to be well and function. According to healthcare recommendations I can never risk becoming infected with SARS2/COVID19.

I now find myself in the unexpected situation of separating from and having to divorce my husband.

Despite my immunocompromised health, he insists on recklessly disregarding my safety and well-being by refusing to take precautions to prevent SARS2/Covid19 from being introduced into our household.

Rather than doing everything in his power to protect me from being harmed by this BIOHAZARD Level 3 pathogen, that we know causes complex chronic illness, disability & increased risk of death, without my knowledge he unilaterally decided to stop masking when away from our home.

Adding insult to injury, he intentionally deceived me for many months. It is some kind of miracle that he did not infect and therefore seriously harm me.

When I became aware of his deceit I immediately separated from him. His callous betrayal of me left me no real choice.

He has all but ruined his business so when divorced there will be no joint assets to divide.

I have no remaining family.

I need your generous help.

Please read a bit more about me and what I need.

I am nearly 72 years old (even though I don't look my age) and am permanently disabled.

Over thirty years ago I was vacationing in the Florida Keys when I was randomly bit by an Eastern Equine Encephalitis (EEE) carrying mosquito. I was one of the unlucky 5% of those infected with EEE who develop encephalitis (inflammation of the brain). Tragically one third of all people with encephalitis due to EEE die. Most of those who survive are left with long-term impairments, and disability. People with severe impairment often require long-term care and die within a few years.

Obviously, I didn’t die.

For some reason I was spared, although quite honestly there were many, many moments when I wished I hadn’t been. I felt trapped in a perpetually exhausted dysfunctional body that hurt everywhere all the time - even my hair and teeth hurt. I once described it as feeling like a “raw piece of meat trapped in hell” and I wanted OUT. I was unable to read with comprehension, speak without stuttering and losing words, remember anything, sleep, digest food (I was on enteral formula), be active at all, focus my attention, follow a conversation, count, etc. As one Internist indelicately put it, my life was a “train wreck”.

I spent many years either in bed or lying on the couch. I clung to life with my fingernails as I traversed the divide between this life and the next. I lived in my soft nightgown because clothes hurt my skin.

Most of what I tried in an attempt to heal not only did not work, but many medical treatments and other therapies actually made my condition much worse and even harmed me. But I am nothing if not optimistic (stubborn!), so I persevered. I discovered that true healing is a journey and like any new adventure is filled with moments of fear, confusion, hope and despair. I refused to accept doctors' labels of “incurable” and no matter how painful, I just kept breathing…..

At one point in my multi-decade odyssey I was accepted into the University of Washington Chronic Fatigue Immune Dysfunction Syndrome research clinic as a patient, because my symptom cluster matched the official criteria for CFIDS (now referred to as ME/CFS). This was the first place where I actually began to receive comprehensive, compassionate, holistic, innovative help. Such a relief!

I have learned how to manage my symptoms and live within the limitations caused by my chronic illness. Unlike able-bodied people I need much more quiet, peace and rest throughout the day as well as medications and specialized nutritional support. As long as I have a safe, stable and secure home and the care and treatments I need, I am able to keep my symptoms at bay, enjoy my simple life and occasionally do some volunteer work.

This is where I hope you come in. I do not bring in enough income from my Disability Grant to fully support or pay for rent myself and Miss Cassie Kitty. (I am on a waiting list for low-income housing, but the list is very long.) I need financial help so that, while mourning the sudden loss of my marriage and continuing to stay safe during this ongoing pandemic, I can also pay for the help and shelter I need to stay safe and well.

I am hoping with your financial support over the next few months that I can continue to afford the care I need to be well and to find a safe place to live.

Any amount you feel compelled to offer me will be so greatly appreciated, treasured and put to the good purposes of keeping me well and safe during this trauma, as well as helping me continue to volunteer to serve the Long COVID community . (live link) and occasionally record and release a song.

Thank you for sharing and forwarding this far and wide.

Mahalo nui loa (thank you very much),

~ CarolAnn

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