Hi, my name is Evelyn. This isn't easy to write and it wasn't something I expected ever to have to do. I am low on necessary, life-changing medication that I cannot afford to refill, and can no longer see my healthcare providers. 2023 was an incredibly challenging year that put my family through many hardships and difficult decisions. I have Bipolar Disorder Type I, CPTSD (complex post-traumatic stress disorder), postpartum depression, and a binge eating disorder. I know--it's a party in my brain. However, I've been fortunate enough to have an amazing therapist and psychiatrist who have helped guide me through learning skills and techniques to cope with my symptoms as well as medicating me through them. As I've gotten older (I'm 26), my bipolar disorder especially has evolved in ways that are incredibly difficult to manage without medication and therapy. I manage CPTSD and PPD with weekly therapy, and I am also medicated for the BED. This year was full of medication changes and tests to properly diagnose the symptoms and find a means of treating them, and we finally, finally found the perfect combination of medications and tools that have changed my life in vast, beautiful, unbelievable ways. For the majority of the year, my monthly therapy, psychiatry, and medication costs were $315 for all of my weekly therapy appointments, prescriptions, and occasional psychiatric appointments. My husband and I were very, very fortunate to be able to easily afford this and sustain it...until now.

I have not worked since September due to various reasons of childcare, flexibility, and my mental health declining with PPD. We had plenty saved to get us through and my husband has been working so incredibly hard to ensure that our life is sustainable and I am taken care of. We had to switch insurances due to his career change midyear, and for some time I was back on my father's insurance to maintain my medical care. In November when I turned 26, I was back on my husband's new insurance. We were unaware of how misled we had been by the verbiage on our insurance package options until I attempted to refill my prescriptions and was told it would be $1600 for three of the five. All five would have been closer to $2300. My medications are not covered by any coupons, or pharmacy discount groups, and are not available in sample packs. One medication is often out of stock in the generic form ($147.50/month), and the name brand is $256.50/month. We have been able to accept this as the only medication we can afford, but at the cost of not filling his prescription for the same medicine, and also experiencing days or weeks without it because of the outage. My most important medication, which treats bipolar disorder, is $850 alone. Three others are not covered at all.

I researched for weeks and weeks and weeks to find answers and options. I spoke to insurance professionals, my providers, pharmacies, even my husband's HR, and others with experience in this. There are no options. Our income is too high to qualify for assistance, but we still can't afford the medicine. Marketplace insurance options are in the $800-900/month range with high deductibles when it comes to covering the medications and providers; you can easily guess that this is just not affordable. I was fortunate to at least have another bottle of the most important medication, but I will be out this Friday, 12/29. This medication cares for my bipolar disorder--the most severe and debilitating of my diagnoses. I have been aware of this for several weeks now, but everything got much, much worse last night.

I finally heard from insurance about all of the back-billing for my therapy and psych appointments since switching coverage and owe $1017.44 for 6 appointments. My future appointments have all been canceled and I cannot book more until the balance is paid. We have absolutely zero ability to pay this unexpected bill. We have a mortgage, cars, utilities, groceries, and a 16-month-old. We do not have expenses to cut out, our savings are null, and we have already tapped into our emergency plan. We cannot update our insurance plan until fall 2024. That's the worst part--this could all be solved by upgrading our insurance plan. Without my healthcare providers and medication, we have to live in a hyperaware state of constant worry for my well-being. Bipolar Disorder Type I is incredibly serious. No matter my excellent awareness of symptoms and triggers, no matter the skills and techniques I have learned, my disorder is unpredictable and debilitating. To not have medication and therapy, we must be prepared for the worst-case scenario; a day in which I am not here.

I am a great mom, a loving wife, a caring friend, an active daughter, an author, a collector, and I like to think that I've grown into a really, really fantastic woman. I've worked so hard to be where I am and to have had the things I've had. I have never had to ask for help like this. It takes a lot of swallowing pride and harrowing admission to ask for help. We've explored all options and solutions only to come up with having to hope that I can maintain stability for several, several months. However, I know myself, my disorders, and the reality of what these things mean; I cannot continue to be everything I am without my providers and medication.

As I continue to search for a job that gives us insurance that benefits us and provides for our needs, any donations will be used to pay off the $1017.44 bill to reinstate my ability to see my providers, my medication costs, weekly therapy appointments, and psychiatry visits. This has been unbelievably difficult to write, but I know I have to do what I can to keep myself present not just for me, but for my family--for my husband, my daughter, my cats, my parents, and my friends. They all need me, and I need my medicine and doctors.

Thank you for reading or sharing. It really means a lot to all of us. I'm trying to be optimistic and do my best to navigate the unknown future. Just knowing there's a support system of love and care helps me see some sort of light in all of the dark.