Etleva's Battle with Dementia and Alzheimer's
Background Information
My family moved to the US as green card holders in June 2015. My wife, Etleva Bufi, fell in love with the US ideals of democracy, individual freedom, and meritocracy while working for the NATO office in our home country, Albania. She also possessed the skill of speaking fluent English and initiated the green card application process hoping to see her two daughters live the American dream.
My wife is a dreamer.
Our dream did in fact come true: we moved to Connecticut and my wife was soon hired for a teaching job at Manchester Community College and was simultaneously completing the required courses to become a licensed K-12 Mathematics teacher. Our mortgage application was accepted and in 2018, our family happily moved to our first US home; our daughters graduated high school with honors and were both admitted to prestigious programs at the University of Connecticut.
But there was another side to this coin.
My wife started displaying signs of forgetfulness that were affecting her everyday life shortly after we moved into our new home. Given her age, her general physician mistook these symptoms for signs of stress and possible burn-out caused by moving into a new country and my health (I was diagnosed with Myasthenia Gravis in 2018). In August 2020, my wife returned after the summer holidays to Hartford Public Schools, where she worked as a paraprofessional. The principal called me a few hours later to come and pick her up, as she was concerned after my wife had shown signs of confusion and detachment with the reality of the situation at hand. The principal’s letter raised red flags for the healthcare professionals as well, so the diagnosing process was finally sped up and my wife got her diagnosis for Alzheimer’s in August 2020, the exact same month when she turned 50.
Current State
The disease is progressing tremendously fast. The psychiatrist who examined her at Yale’s clinic at the beginning of this year admitted that he has never encountered a person this young scoring so low in the memory and cognitive skill measuring tests. The transformation has been unbearable for my wife, and painful to watch for her family.
In addition to Stage 5 Alzheimer’s (out of 7 stages), my wife is now also diagnosed with vascular dementia, which makes muscle control extremely difficult. For a long time, she has not been able to perform basic daily tasks, like bathing herself or getting dressed. Eating is also getting progressively more and more difficult. She has been denied Disability benefits as she has only been working in CT for 5 years as opposed to the 7 year requirement for the aid, and also lost her medical insurance after not being able to return to work.
I work two jobs, a total of 64 hours a week so that I will be able to afford our mortgage payments and all other living expenses. Our daughters are studying. I am now the only person with regular income in a family of four and due to my limited English fluency (I am getting translation help for this GoFundMe) my professional opportunities are limited to minimum wage jobs.
Our Dreams
We dream that Etleva, our beloved wife and mother, will get to live with dignity in the land in which she dreamt to see her family. I want to know that she is not deprived of human company behind locked doors for 64 hours a week while I am at work. My hope is that in the moments when she is aware, she finds peace that her daughters are doing well and pursuing their education, as she dreamt they would.
What Help We Need
Having another source of income would allow me to cut down on my working hours and spend more time taking care of Etleva at home. Fundraising could potentially help us get an in-home caretaker to give her the attention she needs and she deserves. Our financial situation makes it impossible to hire help. Any financial support would also help us with the numerous medical bills we have to pay from the various hospital visits.
I know this may sound trivial at the moment, but it would break my heart if this disease continues to rub her away from her basic needs. While it is obvious that our situation does not have a solution, not even one money can offer, your help would provide her and us some temporary relief. Any amount would be extremely useful and greatly appreciated.
Thank you for your donations and we wish nothing but happiness and health to you and your loved ones!
