Essence's Gender-Affirming Journey

What's good friends, family, lovers, loves, and those who are called! I feel elated, vulnerable, and in the midst of all the feels when it comes to sharing this journey with you. I have wanted to transition for the longest, but have been putting it off for quite some time. Now that I am feeling ready, it has been a challenge securing the necessary funds to support this journey. If this world were mine, all of the essentials associated with gender-affirming care would most definitely be free. It is hard enough to ask for help in a world that makes it difficult for Black Trans Femmes to survive. I pray that you too can ask for help when you need it, and that you do not kill yourself laboring for a capitalist machine that does not value, protect, or honor your body, mind, or spirit. May all of our calls be answered. It shall come to pass.

I am currently in the process of reintegrating back into a Master's program in Applied Theatre at the University of London. I began my studies there in the fall of 2021 as a Marshall Scholar and had looked forward to seeing how I could use this knowledge to help further my dream and plans of creating sustainable and thriving foundations for Black Trans and Queer beings across the diaspora, using art as a healing and uniting force to attract us, yet leaving us with practical and tangible things that we need–like housing, food, clothing, avenues of income, gender-affirming care, and things that we want and dream of (because those are usually needs too! We often forget!). Both fortunately and unfortunately, the scholarship I had been given was just enough to cover my accommodation fees and food, so there wasn't any lavish living or extra funds for me to purchase gender-affirming attire, travel or anything like that (just to keep it real with y'all). During my time there, I was subject to blatant and redundant racism and transphobia both in and out of the classroom. After being physically threatened for the umpteenth time and feeling like I didn't have much of a strong support system there to nurture me throughout my transition, I decided that it was time for me to apply for a leave of absence and return to NY in hopes of being closer to community and support that would help me feel secure enough to transition into the beautiful woman I know myself to be.

Now that I am in the process of trying to give myself and my studies another chance, I decided that it's best that I open up and be vulnerable enough to ask for help now when I know I need it most. There are so much costs associated with this great risk that I am taking and this great move across the Atlantic that I am unsure of where that money will come from (that's another story for another day), and yet I trust, for I KNOW. It isn't easy traveling thousands of miles away to a foreign land and trying to make something of myself as a Black trans woman. Those cold grey nights alone can sometimes feel like an eternity that casts doubt upon one's dreams. And yet, I know and believe that it is possible for us to be great because I feel it in my bones. And I also rest assured in the knowledge that I am not alone. Ancestors and community is the force which gives rise to a fruitful life. My commitment, regardless of the outcome of my own personal fundraiser, is to continue shaping this world into one that is hospitable, gentle, and loving toward Black trans folks. And this too shall come to pass.

I'm not saying it has to be me, but go support and check up on the Black Trans Femmes you know. Make sure we are good. And give thanks. Don't just talk about it. Live it.

As for the details of where your contribution will be going toward:

–cryostorage (freezing my eggs)

–laser procedures

–other gender-affirming procedures which I may disclose to you if you hit me up and ask. Otherwise, drink ya water.

–if y'all support me abundantly and surpass the goal (which I know we will cuz y'all LOVE LEOs) then I will, with discernment, use some of the extra to support my black trans siblings and love on them.

Again, thank you. May you be blessed.