Keep It All Together

I debated on posting about this or not but social media is almost always full of the good stuff and makes us believe nothing bad is going on in people's lives.

Well unfortunately, I can't fight a battle I have been trying to for a long time, especially in the last year.

Getting laid off from Cerner/Oracle last year pretty much ruined my life. To say I have tried to find something or make something work is an understatement. A negative, toxic work environment. A horrible, insulting CEO. Mental health issues out the wazoo. Applying for over 500+ jobs.

I have had numerous plans through the years that should have worked. All of which have failed because I had to trust other human beings whether that was a significant other, roommate or an employer. It's one reason I am trying to build my own business... but that takes a lot of time I don't have.

I have tried to still do good in life and find happiness by fostering, offering free training to help, transporting for shelters and rescues, donating my time and what little money I could, and providing advice to those that really need it with their dogs.

Unfortunately, when your $65k job disappears and you can't find anything even close for almost a year, well... You have to throw in the towel. I have had to pretty much stop transporting because my car is falling apart. Getting Goose was my last for now. I can't donate or buy anything extra for my fosters because I have to take care of my own zoo. I foster because I have time and space at least and the rescues pay for anything that the dogs need.

But now, I am looking at bankruptcy. I've spoken with an attorney about my options and they're pretty limited. I don't have another way out of a giant mess that divorce, car wrecks, broken promises, and a gigantic lay off created because I am on my own with no other person to help pay bills. And it sucks. I have fought to keep a 'good credit' score but never could get any help when I tried recently. I have done everything I was 'supposed' to do in life and more. And now I have no other options.

I cannot lose my home. I have nowhere else to go. I cannot lose my zoo because they're all I live for. I start a new job on Nov 14th, but I don't know how we're even going to make it until then or even after. I am willing to work whatever side jobs I can to make it until that income starts coming in, as my dog training business isn't close to being a viable full time gig yet.

The world is broken so badly. There's too many posts about people needing to file bankruptcy or looking at being homeless while many people are living in extravagance. Too many posts about dogs being put down because there's no space and people can't afford basic care, food or training that would fix their issues easily. People who try to help those that need it are losing despite trying everything they can, and there's not enough resources. So someone has to lose because the way our society is built at the moment, not everyone can win.

If you know me, you know I don't like asking for a handout or taking one that is offered. But to keep my little slice of happiness together to keep my sanity and will to live alive, I'll do what I can. If you can help, wonderful. If you have a little job you need done, I am happy to come do it for whatever you want to pay me. I don't lack skills or talent so please ask me if you have something you need done. If you have advice, I'm open to hearing it but I have never expected a golden, magical answer.

The closest I have ever come to one of those has been when someone joined my zoo and given me all the boops to keep me going.

Any funds I received will be going to my mortgage to keep my house, utilities, dog food, vaccines, human food for me, gas for my car to get to work and other necessary trips, and just necessities. I will not be using it for volunteer transports, foster dogs, or anything unrelated to my own situation, and I certainly will not be taking extra trips, buying Christmas gifts or anything extra.