Erma Abenojar Cardona

Remembering and honoring our dearest Erma Abenojar Cardona

Hello everyone. I’m sad to inform you that our beloved mother has passed away on Friday, November 17, 2023. I know everyone is wondering what happened to mom. I’m going to save you from my tears and let you read the events that occurred the past few days about our selfless caring mom. As our family continues to wrap our heads around this nightmare, we were unexpectedly struck with the medical bills so I’ve created this GoFundMe for assistance. Anything will be a blessing. Please continue to pray for mommy’s soul. Thank you so much. We love you all.

Today’s date: 11/18/2023

On Wednesday night (11/15/23), I received an unexpected phone call from my brother Jeffrey. I typically don’t get phone calls from only him so that somewhat threw me off. He said, “Ate Leen, something happened to mom, she collapsed, I just did CPR and they’re working on her in the ambulance.” The denial, shock, and disbelief went through me, my heart was pounding and my chest was feeling tight. I’m not sure how much time had passed but mom was still in the ambulance in front of the house when I called a second time. I knew then, the situation was bad, and this meant mom was too unstable to be moved in a vehicle. I asked Jeff again, step by step, on what happened. And as a Neuro SDU nurse, I knew she had a stroke.

After 30 minutes of the initial call, I was on my way to the airport. I couldn’t stop worrying about mom, I cried and cried all the way until I arrived to the receiving hospital in Arizona. The receptionist said that mom wasn’t there yet. How could that be? Mom was being transported to Banner University Medical Center in Phoenix AZ, from Banner Baywood Hospital in Mesa AZ via helicopter. How did I beat mom to the hospital?!?! What was taking so long? I was getting angry and worried because I knew treatment was being delayed. Since it was confirmed that mom had a ruptured aneurysm, time was definitely not our friend. Shortly after mom arrived, a consent was signed and procedures were done in attempt to save her life. Then an hour later, I see mom pass by the hallway. I yelled “Is that my mom? Is that Erma?” The respiratory therapist shrugged her shoulder. How would she know, she barely met my mom and this was the first time that she saw me. It was understandable. But I looked again, and I knew it was her. I could see the rainbow shaped sea of gray hairs on mommy’s head. Images of her motionless body was flashing in my head……I saw a tube coming out of her mouth- she’s on a ventilator, partially shaved head with a tube coming out- it’s an EVD to take blood out of her brain, 8 IV pumps- it’s medications to keep her blood pressure up. I thought to myself, ‘what’s happening right now? I need to wake up from this nightmare!’

It’s 2am and finally the neurosurgical doctor came out. She explained to daddy, Nhung, and I the severity of the stroke. This was getting too much for me, I was getting overwhelmed. The doctor showed us the new CT scan and it was worse. Mom wasn’t getting out of this without cognitive deficit. The doctor asked what route we wanted to take, but whatever we decided she would ultimately be a vegetable. Finally, at almost 5am we got to see mommy. Thursday was actually a blur. As I type this, I still can’t recall the fine details of that day because I was already awake for more than 24hrs. I do remember who mom’s nurse was, what medications she was on, me kissing mommy so much on her arms, face, legs, the crying all of us made, the deal I was trying to make with God, us kids trying to comfort dad, and mommy’s church group.

The next day was Friday, or you can say yesterday. Everything was a little clearer; maybe because I was able to sleep three hours. However, the following 12 hours was even worse than the day before, because it was our last day with mommy. So many people were going in out of the room, but I felt like I was wasting my time answering questions from the organ donation team instead of being with my mom. I had to talk to them because my siblings and I decided that mom’s organs were too valuable, they needed to be donated. All I wanted that day was all my family members to be in that room at the same time. It was tough because the max allowed in the room was 5 people. If you haven’t met our family, we’re huge. Mom has 4 brothers and 3 sisters, 21 nieces and nephews, 25 grandbabies (6 of them were hers) and one on the way. Finally by 4:45pm we were able to all say goodbye together. We stayed together in our small room until 7:45p. We did the hospital donor walk at 8pm to the Pre Op Room where mom was prepped to be extubated. She was finally disconnected from machines, took her last breath in front of her family, and was pronounce at 8:57pm. Saturday morning, we learned that our mom’s last heroic act on earth was saving a 55yr old woman, who resides here in Arizona by donating her liver. Erma Abenojar Cardona: daughter, sister, auntie, wife, mother, grandmother, and hero.

Mommy’s Loves

For those who don’t know mom, her family was her life. She loved her family so much, especially her grandkids. They were definitely her pride and joy. She wanted to be with them all the time. She would even tell dad that she didn’t want to go on vacations unless the babies were all there. Disneyland was our last family trip and I knew that she enjoyed it so much. Mommy also loved to cook her infamous kankanin for all the family parties. She also was proud of sharing her fruits and vegetables from their garden, these included malunggay, lemons, calamansi, chayote, kamote, saluot, spinach, and parga. The last harvest she shared were the lemons. Mom was so giving, loving, and thoughtful. Her soul was too pure to be here on earth. Maybe that’s why God took her all of a sudden. He had a bigger assignment for her.

Family was mom’s life, but God was always her number one. She served her church congregation at Calvary Chapel of Phoenix every Sunday. She loved and enjoyed going to church and worshiping God. She never missed Sunday service unless they were going to California to visit family. Her faith was unwavering and unquestionable. My family and I know that mom is with our Heavenly Father, not in pain, and watching over us.

We miss you so much mommy. We’re having such a difficult time processing this nightmare. I catch myself turning around to ask you how you liked the food we just ate, but you’re not there. Or to ask what flavor boba you want, but you’re not there. All the things I’m doing around the house I think about you. You’re everywhere, but not physically here. We’re all broken inside. I catch Jeff, Michela, Daddy, and myself in a blank stare and suddenly crying. Mommy please heal our broken hearts. Give us the strength to move on throughout the day. Give us peace so we can sleep at night. I love you mommy, I’ll see you in my dreams.