November 11, 2020 Update:



Hi Friends!!! August 2020 UPDATE!



From March 2020:

Hey you! I hope you’re having an amazing day. I’m here taking a few minutes asking for your help, financially, mentally, emotionally, as I embark on a healing journey to regain 2020 vision in 2020. In case you don't know me, I'm Erin and I'm currently living in San Francisco, CA. My home. I am raising funds to cover my costs for healing my eye (see below for how funds will be spent). 

On March 20, 2019, I woke up in my bungalow on Coconut Beach, Koh Rong and I couldn’t see out of my left eye. I was terrified. I couldn’t see clearly. I couldn’t really see anything from my left eye. Everything was blurry.

What. Why. How. I was fine when I went to bed, no injuries. Nothing had happened. So why? Why couldn’t I see?

Panic ensues. I’m on an island. Not an island like Hawaii. This island just began developing a few years ago.  There are no roads, no cars. The only modes of transportation were boat, or feet.

There were no stores, just minimarts. There definitely weren’t any doctors or hospitals.

Why can’t I see? I want to google it. I type in: www.google.com. Enter.

No connection.

Oh yeah, no wifi. No 4G or 5G. Oh yeah, I live on a freakin island off the coast of Cambodia. Probably for the best. I can’t google this away.

What do I do? What would you do if you woke up and couldn’t see? Don’t know. Yeah, neither did I. Turns out there is very little that prepares for what to do in this sort of situation.

I couldn’t message my friends or family, even if I wanted to. And what was I going to say? “Hey friend, I know we haven’t chatted in a few months, but I just woke up and I can’t see. Help?”

Ok, maybe I should have. And what would you have said? Come home. Maybe I should have.

I had been living abroad for nearly two years and what that meant was that I didn’t have health insurance in the US, and didn't have much money left after volunteering for the previous two years. I knew enough to know that a condition like this without health insurance was sure to bankrupt me or my family.

So I rush down to the beach where I’m greeted by my business partner Steve. On Coconut Beach, Steve was my best friend, my family. Steve would know what to do.

He suggests I go to the mainland to the hospital. I agree, I call my travel insurance, I pack a bag, hop on the ferry terrified, alone, head to the hospital in Sihanoukville, a city sized construction site, and everything is blurry.

Sihanoukville under construction

The first eye doctor couldn't treat me. I go to Phnom Penh. The second doctor told me to go back to the US. Without insurance, that wasn’t an option. So I found the best eye specialist in Cambodia - Meng Runtin - and they agree to treat me and my uveitis. They speak English, and I feel I’m getting good treatment. I confirm my medications with google, they align, great. Google knows everything, right? I was taking steroid eye drops, and oral steroids, to try to reduce the inflammation. It was kind of working. 

I began sorting out insurance back home thanks to the help of my amazing sister Caroline. It would take several months.

And so I embarked on the 5 month journey of getting treated for my eye condition in Cambodia while simultaneously building a pretty rad business on Coconut Beach. Was this the right decision? I don’t know, but I can’t go back. These five months were abundantly rewarding professionally and personally, but were also physically, emotionally, mentally and financially draining. 


By August 2019, my eyesight had gotten a bit better and then a bit worse but no real progress either way. By this point I had ran through all my savings traveling back and forth to eye appointments in Phnom Penh every 1-3 weeks. To get to PP, I hopped on a ferry then took a very bumpy, far from pleasant 5-8 hr taxi ($$$) or 8-12 hour bus ($). The doctor appointment only cost $30, and medicine less than $20. But then I had to pay for hotels or hostels and food, of course. The sleeping bus was quite fun as well. What am I kidding, it was exhausting and it got expensive quickly.

I was out of money.

My mom wanted me to come home and my dad graciously gifted me $1,000. At this point, I was still too afraid to tell really anyone back home what was going on with my eye. Partially ashamed, embarrassed. So I booked a flight home for 3 weeks to visit friends and yes, get my eye checked out then the plan was to return to Cambodia for next high season. I think the universe had other plans for me.

At the time, I guess mentally, I had given up on my eye, and decided I would no longer see and that it couldn’t be fix. Or maybe I’d go to the United States, and voila, I’d be healed. To be honest, I don't remember. I was a mess. 

Upon returning to SF now equipped with health insurance, I quickly found my way to a retina specialist, they confirm the diagnosis of uveitis. She tells me she could help me see again, that luckily there was no permanent damage, yet. It would just take a while. How long? They didn’t know. I just couldn’t go back to Cambodia, yet. Maybe in a few weeks. For now, I needed to stay here to get treatment I was tested for everything under the sun, and most everything came back negative. So, no, it wasn't some tropical disease or something from Cambodia. My blood shows igg and igm spikes for varicella (ie: chickenpox). Meaning a recent infection of shingles. But I didn't have shingles? They start me on valtrex. We wait for the lab results from my eye sample. Then we get the call that Labcorp lost it. Imagine getting your eye stuck with a needle three times in probably the most traumatizing experience of your life, then told that some lab tech misplaced your “irreplaceable specimen” — let me tell, NOT FUN, 10 out of 10 would not recommend. I wonder if I should sue Labcorp. I get entered into a research study at UCSF where my eye is tested for every known pathogen, nothing. I am a medical mystery. I stay on valtrex, just in case it is the varicella virus, and take steroid eye drops. My eye is slowly getting getting better. 

At this point, I had I cancelled my return flight. 3 weeks, turned to 6 weeks, and on and on.

I was at home, but had never felt so lonely. Yes, I was happy to be back. Slowly, I was actually realizing that I wanted to be back. But, no I didn’t want to be back because I was going blind. Was I going blind? Was I getting better? The past six months have been an emotional roller coaster as I had to abandon my businesses, my friends like family, my partners, my belongings, my life, in Cambodia to stay here to treat my eye. That’s a lot to lose all at once. And of course, there is nothing more important than your health, but that doesn’t make the losing your dream overnight any easier. I struggled as I attempted flailing to manage my businesses halfway around the world through phone calls with spotty wifi connection and frequent disconnections. I was thrown back into the Western world, quickly, and not by choice. Bombarded with questions of why I had returned, and why I would ever give up a life in paradise.

Steve and I at Bottle Bar on Coconut Beach

I showed up to San Francisco with $0 in my pocket, and this city is far from cheap, but I needed to be surrounded by family and friends. There was nowhere else I could go. Thankfully, Susi and Bill had a position for me to help at the San Francisco Playhouse (my first professional home, really my home) so I could afford every day life in San Francisco while simultaneously giving me a purpose and a reason to get out of bed, when all I wanted to do was crawl so tight into a ball that it all just went away.

My parents, of course, offered to let me stay with them, but the 1.5 hour commute each way would have broken me — and at this point, if you so much sneezed around me, I probably would have shattered. Serendipitously, my best friend’s Justine’s  roommate had just moved out, so I was able to move in with her. 

My parents and my sister provided much, much needed support. So many of friends bought me lunches, and dinners, when I had no money to my name and craved to be surrounded by the people I loved the most. My friends were there for me in the best way they could have been, and for that I am eternally grateful. At every turn, I started to begin to feel like this was where I was meant to be, thanks to my friends, whom I love and cherish deeply. Yet every day was still hard. For the most part, I recused myself from life, and hid in my room.

It was December 2019, just a few months before, I had been on the beach, serving good times, in a bikini, at my own bar, living the absolute dream. Now, I was wrapped in a blanket huddled on the air mattress I had been sleeping on for the better part of the two months. Partially because I didn’t have money to buy a new mattress, but more because I didn’t want to buy a mattress since I was hoping to return to finish what I started in Cambodia. That would never happen. That dream was dead.

I slowly came to grips with that and started digging myself out of a hole of depression and embarrassment. None of this was my fault, but healing was my responsibility. 

Through this whole situation, I come back to gratitude — I am abundantly grateful for all the opportunities and experiences in my life — most definitely the two years of my life in Cambodia. And the truth is, I was never going to leave. I can only believe this happened to me so I could be back in San Francisco, in the US, surrounded by people who love me, support me, and care about me.

But, ok, universe, body, I get it. I’m back. I want to be. Can I see again? Please? 

Back in the bay area surrounded by family and friends. 

Which is why I need to ask you for your help.

My current prognosis:

Methotrexate & Humira for 1-2 years. Both of these medicines are rough on the body and have a whole host of the side effects.

My only alternative:

Heal myself.

I just began to believe that my body truly has the capacity to actually and fully heal itself. Sure, I have seen myself get a paper cut, and nothing short of miraculously it heals like nothing ever happened. But, what if that could happen with my eye? I’m beginning to believe it can and realizing that I need to do everything in my power as soon as possible to allow my body to heal itself. And I need to seek out help from people and experts who can help me heal.

I’ve already begun exploring alternative healing methods - Acupuncture, Sound Healing, to start. I’m on an anti-inflammatory diet. I’ve cut out alcohol, gluten, dairy.

The things I’ve learned so far - one, they are working - I’ve seen the greatest improvement with my eye since starting acupuncture in January. And, two - being healthy is expensive. And I'm beginning to drown with mounting medical costs in addition to all the costs I had to incur moving back to the city, when I had nothing. The stress of paying for the treatments I need to heal is getting to be too much. 

Anyone who knows me, knows I am a hard worker, and just three weeks ago I realized I have worked nearly every single day for the past year, and a majority of those days were 12 hour work days. I realized this when I was bed-ridden the day after I took my first dose of methotrexate.

This is when I decided I needed to step down from my full-time position at the amazing startup I’m working at so I can truly take the time I need to heal.

So, I am asking my friends, the people who support me and love me to share a few dollars to help me with my healing.

Back in SF surrounded by friends and family

Here is what an example of what healing modalities I will hopefully be able to explore with the money I receive:

USE OF FUNDS

**Monthly Costs: ~$1,500**

1. Modern Acupuncture Membership - $109
https://www.modernacupuncture.com/

I signed up for a yearly unlimited membership in January because it was such a great deal even though I didn’t “have” the money, but I knew it would be worth it!

This means I can go unlimited times…I usually go 3-5x per week schedule permitting (transportation can be expensive as well).

I saw the best and most impressive eye improvement just a few weeks after I began acupuncture.

The head acupuncturist here has treated uveitis before.

2. Acupuncture, QiGong & Chinese Herbal Medicine - $130 x 4 = $520

http://www.silktreehealing.com/

Charity is a holistic healer and goes through all my symptoms, makes me feel comfortable, and prescribes me herbal formulas for healing.

About Qigong: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCqdj7-9G4A

3. Drip Doctors Membership - $350
https://dripdoctors.com/

This is to counteract the effects or methotrexate. And boost my immune system while on immunosuppressants (especially with threat of coronavirus). 

For this I get 1 IV drip + 1 IV Push with Vitamin C, Zinc, Glutathione, B Complex and some vitamin boosters

The monthly membership is a great deal! $500 value for only $300.

The nurses said I should come in weekly if possible for methotrexate as it very gnarly on the system.

4. Supplements - $200

Elderberry, Omega 3, Prebiotics, Probiotics, Tumeric, Zinc, Magnesium, Daily Multivitamin

5. Forward Doctor Membership - $99

This is a primary care doctor that I can see unlimited visits located in SF.

6.  Medications - TBD

I just discovered injectable methotrexate is not covered by my insurance so I will have to pay out of pocket for that

7. Transportation to Appointments - $300


** Other Healing Modalities I would like to explore if the funds were available to me**


1. A Pancharkarma Cleanse has been recommended to me after describing my condition to several practioners. This can will cost close to $3,500, but I truly believe this will allow my body to reset and regain vision in my left eye.

https://www.ayurveda.com/panchakarma/fees-optional-services


2. A nutritionist: In recent research, I’m finding this might be the root cause of my condition. So I would like to talk to a few practitioners in SF, though I’m still unclear on costs because I don’t have the funds, but I know certain things in my diet aggravate my body, and while I am trying to have a strict anti-inflammatory diet, I still feel bloated and unwell.

3. Sound Healing - https://gracecathedral.org/events/the-sound-healing-symphony/ - On Monday I attended that event, and plan to attend more and more, they run about $30/each.

Any other recommendations? What am I missing? I know I can’t be the only person who has went through something that needed healing? How have you healed? I would love to talk to anyone who has been through any sort of healing journey before.

If you are well, please, every day, thank whoever or whatever you believe in, that you’re here, and you’re healthy. They mean it when they say your health is your wealth. Without it, even with all the money in the world, you’re poor.

I’d also love to go to an immersive healing retreat somewhere in this big beautiful world. Maybe South America. Recommendations, advice, welcome. I receive enough funds, or if there is anyone out there interested in sponsoring me or part of this trip, let me know. You never know until you ask.

Thank you for being so kind. xx