Erin Laemmle Memorial Garden

Hello, my name is Robert Zazzara. I live in Ithaca, NY.  My best friend for over 22 years has sadly lost her 8 year battle with stage 4 ovarian cancer. Erin was born and raised in Los Angeles, California, that is where we met and became girlfriend and boyfriend. We dated for 7 years but work and other factors got between us.  We had a civil parting of ways, and I never expected to really see her again.  I moved back to my home town, Ithaca, and started a new chapter of my life.  I kept my Los Angeles phone number for friend connections and possible work purposes.

That was the most important part of this story I think. One day a Los Angeles number came up. I answered it and it was Erin! I was very happy to hear from her, but she sounded kinda off.  She said, "Turtle, (my nickname she gave me), I have stage 4 ovarian cancer, and It has spread to my bloodstream and brain."  Those words took the air out of me.

I asked her what she was going to do.  She was unsure and very scared.  I then told her, "you remember Ithaca, you liked it, move over here and I will help you."  We talked for a long while and 2 weeks later she was here.  Erin stayed with me for a few weeks then we got her an apartment of her own.  I would visit every day, cook and tidy up and do anything I could to help.

All the doctors were amazed at how strong she was. They kept telling us she only had months or a year at most.  That was 8 years ago.  Erin endured over 7 years of chemo and various radiation treatments, including 2 "gamma knife" procedures.

In may of this year(2021), the doctor told me all the treatments except one are not working. The last treatment that would help slightly was also more often then not fatal. The treatment was full head radiation , 10 times over 10 days.  She was still able to make her own mind up at that time and opted for it.  BE CAREFULL WITH THIS TREATMENT!! 

It only stopped the brain tumor from growing for a few weeks, the brain tumor was formed when the cancer spread to the bloodstream. The side effects were the scariest thing I have ever seen.  Erin lost almost all her sight, her brain started to mix up messages, and she had forgotten how to swallow food.  I am leaving the really scary and awful stuff out that she went through, I don't really think it is necessary to talk about that. You can look up the side effects of whole brain treatment if your curious.

Erin was the strongest woman I have ever met and had the most positive outlook on life.  She fought to the very end and held out hope of beating this until the last 10 days.  Erin only said, "turtle i'm scared", during those last 10 days.

I stayed by her side the entire last week of her life, holding her and hugging her. The super wonderful nurses let me stay as long as I wanted, even though it broke the covid visiting hour policy.

I fell asleep at 3:10 am June 11th of this year(2021), while holding her hand.  I awoke, no lie, at 3:15 am and she was gone.  I believe she did that on purpose to not make me sad.  Even though she was blind and unable to move or eat, she could sense me there.  I stayed with her for a few hours then the staff said I had to leave. Walking out of room 401 that night was the hardest thing I have ever done in my 54 years.

She really loved all things that were beautiful and that is why I going to make a big memorial garden for her, with a plaque that says something like, Erin "Bumble Bee" Laemmle, memorial garden, that was the nickname I had for her.

I will do it all myself even if I don't get any help, but the more I get the bigger I'll make it.

The garden will be at my sons house, he has a large corner house downtown that is perfect!

 

Tell the people you love that you love them!!  Every moment counts! The world is full of quick goodbyes, cherish the time with your loved ones.

Thank you.