Please help save my home and future

I am a woman who had been in a marriage for almost 30 years. I grew up in an unpredictable environment and ended up marrying a man who was controlling and abusive. We raised many children

and were active in our Church, however, I believed my husband to be the head of the home, and I didn’t have a voice with his violent outbursts. Sadly, I watched as our children had grave self-destructive issues due to living in a home with unpredictable anger, and unsafety. I finally realized how unhealthy our marriage dynamic was when child after child had serious issues, and the source was not their genetics but their environment growing up in an unstable home. I also realized I needed help as I had been okay for too long living in an unpredictably raging situation and lived out of a deep state of fear. The only way I coped was to turn a blind eye to his rage and look for the good in things, however small. This damaged our children deeply, and led me into deep anxiety, wrecking me as well.

When I separated and divorced, I ended up with the family home from our settlement. I felt so much trauma in the walls, in each room, and a few of my adult children who had also decided to do their own interior journey towards healing, wanted to help me love our home and heal our past through painting each room and lovingly cleaning and fixing it. There were holes in the walls from angry fists that punched through. There were ceilings that were never allowed to be fixed and had leaked for years. There were so many years of my husband’s unfinished house projects and unfinished trim. We lovingly painted each room; my children finished all the trim and painstakingly did the projects my ex-husband had left undone. After two long years of renovations, our home felt so safe and beautiful! With each project, we each worked on memories, forgiveness, and breaking free from old cycles. Those of us getting help to heal wanted to start anew and stop the generational cycles of abuse. Our home seemed an icon of our own interior journeys of healing.

Then, when at work this past December, I got a call that the unusually heavy cold rain was leaking through the ceiling in one of the bedrooms. I thought this ceiling had no more problems as after the divorce I had the freedom to have the shingles redone and thought the roof was in good order. We called a company

that weekend to come as the ceiling looked to be sagging and we were afraid it might collapse! The workers cut a hole in the ceiling to empty the water and discovered a much bigger disaster. The entire roof was filled with black mould. The years of my ex-husband ignoring my pleas to have the leaking ceilings addressed had taken their toll and mould had grown. The root cause of the leaking was an addition my ex-husband had done, which had not been properly sealed. I am not sure how it passed city inspection as permits had been taken out and inspections made at the time. Sadly, I am left with the cost of fixing the problems as house insurance does not cover mould.

As the ceiling was taken apart, and walls taken down to find the extent of the mould, the problems have grown. We had hoped just a smaller part of the house was affected but more faulty work had been found which now requires proper insulation and a new exterior for the entire house. Gas fireplaces need to be removed and new heating installed as there was so much mould under one of them, that the floor underneath was ready to cave in. Because the windows were not sealed properly, there is mould growing around them as well, and they also require replacing. The roof design of the addition was poorly done, and the water damage is extensive to older parts of the house. Parts of the roof that had just been reshingled, needed proper venting and reshingling again. We are down to one bedroom and a tiny bathroom while the work is being done, but grateful we do not need to find another place to live during the renovations.

The cost will be over $250,000 and will use up my retirement savings, as well as require me to remortgage my home. At the age of 60, I will have to continue working indefinitely. I do forgive my ex-husband and my intention is not to degrade him in any way. I am simply living in the reality of being left with a huge financial burden, and I am reaching out for the generosity of many hearts.