I never thought I would have to be here saying this. My wife, Nikki, of 30 years, best friend for 35 years and loving mother has passed. 
Nikki was a friend to so many. She was so unique and I think that's how she caught my eye February 13th, 1986. I knew then she was special. She gave my life meaning. She was the air that I breathe. She was my everything and I am completely lost without her. 
Her passing was very sudden and without any notice. I wish we could have done something more and every minute of every day I try to think if there was something that could have been done. She was just so special to so many people.
She put up with me, she took care of me for so long and I would give anything for the chance to take care of her. I want to make it all better and have her come home to me but I know that can't happen.
I wish I could put into words the impact and emptiness in hearts her death has caused. 
Everyone is encouraged to contact me if you choose, It's okay. I need to talk about her to get through each minute of each day. 
Even when I got hurt the first time, she was there saving me. She saved me so many times and the one time she needed it, I couldn't save her and that is something I will have to live with.
I never thought I was ask anyone for help and I still am conflicted because of pride but if you can help cover any part of the expenses, You have no idea how much it helps.
She is going to be cremated here in Florida and brought back to Illinois. I would like to get her a small stone up there so friends and family can go visit her if they feel the need. 
The medical expenses and funeral costs are overwhelming. I am not asking for a handout. Nikki would probably get mad at me, like she did lol but at the end of the day, she would not want us to lose everything over this. If you can, thank you from the bottom of my heart and if you can't, thank you for being her friend anyway. 
We had so many plans. I thought we would be grey haired old people, sitting at South Beach watching people walk by and mocking them while complaining about how bad our backs hurt. I will never feel joy again like I had with her. Thank you and I apologize for this. I hope anyone who knew her or us, reach out anytime [phone redacted]   
I love you Nikki. 
The photo is from 1999 on our first trip to Jamaica. I think that's when I saw her at her happiest. We always talked about retiring there one day.