Jillian's Last Gift

Story

Three and a half years ago I lost my youngest daughter suddenly. Something no parent should ever have to endure. The 7 days that it took for her to go from a migraine to being critically ill and passing from this life to "the next" is still a blur. I keep searching for an explanation as to why this happened. I’m not sure why I even bother because there’s no reason ANYONE could ever give that would be good enough for me. My son, Elijah, was 5 at the time and in his innocence, knows that Jillian went to heaven and she’s an angel now. He misses her but that answer works for him. I wish it worked for me. Keeping my daughters, Elizabeth and Shelby, and me going, besides our love for each other, is knowing that in some way Jillian still lives. She lives on through her final gift, the gift of life. My daughters and I made every decision about Jillian together as Elizabeth and Shelby each lost their favorite sister, and I lost my baby girl. She was an old soul but yet young, beautiful, feisty…and 14...and I’m proud to say she was an organ donor. Kind people comment on the strength it must have taken to make this decision and how unselfish it was. What no one seems to realize is that the decision itself was easy…and for me a very selfish one. We’re not heroes for doing this and to be honest, at the time it didn’t matter to me how many other lives were saved because of it. All that mattered to me, to us, was that as long as a part of Jillian was alive somewhere, anywhere…then in some small way, so was she. I wanted my daughter’s life to have meaning, but most of all I wanted a part of her to live. I simply would not accept that this was all there was and I refused to let Jillian’s story end there. On March 9th, 2011...we kissed Jillian goodbye. We stood in standing ovation, a circle of loved ones as watched her disappear down the corridor to what I have aptly named...her “gifting surgery.” So…this is what I know…One of the 4 greatest gifts I’ve ever been given ~ is my daughter. One of the greatest gifts I’ve ever given ~ is my daughter. Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote…“To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived - that is to have succeeded.” One of the greatest gifts I will ever receive is knowing that one life has breathed easier because Jillian lived. She mattered. She made a difference. Jillian SUCCEEDED.A few months after laying my daughter to rest, I went to pick out a stone for her resting place. I couldn't do it. I left there in tears. Perhaps this final step made it all too real. I tried again only to be disappointed and overwhelmed. Not knowing what to choose, what would be perfect for the last gift I would ever be able to give to my daughter. Six months after I lost Jillian, I was in a car accident. It has been almost 3 years now and I have been out of work for most of that time due to my injuries. October...As what would have been Jillian's 18th birthday approaches, I've decided it's time. It's time to give Jillian that gift. I know if this dream is to come to fruition, I will need help. If I start now, perhaps by the 4th anniversary of her passing next March I will have chosen a design and artist to masterfully create the perfect gift for Jillian's place.  Thank you for taking the time to read this....for your kindness and generosity and if you can, please share our story. You can see our story...Jillian's story here... http://hamburg.wgrz.com/news/news/67798-hamburg-teens-legacy-others-saved