I have faced the fires of hell for my daughter, intentionally set by those we loved too much and just ended up hurting us. I have risen from depths they left us for the wolves, over and over. I have succeeded in raising the most amazing teenager I have ever met, against all odds that were stacked against me in hate and revenge for years and years. I have been stalked, threatened, abused, my reputation ruined again and again with endless lies by those who did me and her wrong, while I kept silent and scared of what they would do… and then have had to isolate from those we love and those we have no idea if we can trust anymore because of the fake friends talking behind my back when they have never asked me directly any of the stories or only have bits and pieces and make ASSumptions. We have been made to live in conditions I have had to heal us from, on top of constant healing of health issues she has had her whole life that I have had to deep dive from when she was born, and change our whole life to help her heal and help her be strong from with everything in our world that affects her/us and then on top of it all especially COVID = deadly to us. In it all, my health has finally taken its toll with it all and my genes, etc and I am struggling. I again have had the rug pulled out from under me financially even with agreements, right at a crucial point of massive progress(of course!). But the way that the financial and other abuse has been dealt continuously and over many years, it has been nearly impossible to not drown in it all, just like they intended and still do..& I have still made an incredible world for her/us, always. In the beginning, it always goes like this with abuse: tell her to leave her income, school, all built to rise, tell them you’ll take care of them forever, tell her she can finally rest and let go, feel safe, then control and abuse and broken promises and lies, then kick them to the curb when we finally do take a stand and finally won’t take the BS anymore… with nothing to start with and expenses quickly and consistently piling high, out-of-pocket holistic doctors and vets, absolutely necessary supplements and no housing to boot, having to move and move and not by choice after being told we had our forever home again and putting years of blood sweat and tears into it for him to reap the rewards in the end. Ask me the TRUTHS, you will be shocked. Tell her “release the toxic bio father since he doesn’t pay or choose to see her anyway and because he only causes so much trauma and pain…release his responsibility to his $$$ part, it is too stressful, you will be cared for forever.” Then, try to pawn her back off to volitile him because he suddenly doesn’t want the responsibility anymore, disregarding completely our safety and well-being.

I am training, working my ass off day and night, trying to get remote work that is ok for my health and for our difficult situation (this is nearly impossible for many right now), and especially because I have had to homeschool her since second grade. I am working with Workforce Centers, DV caseworkers, and am in an address protection program, and am working with multiple disability services/DVR. I have many disabilities and serious health conditions to heal now. I have had to cut out the closest people to me/us that were unhealthy and toxic and have been no help and instead made it worse. I have done an amazing job ALL BY MYSELF ALL OF THESE YEARS WITH BARELY AN ASK OF HELP and THANK YOU TO THOSE WHO DID INSTEAD OF TURNED ON ME FOREVER GRATEFUL, but prior to that helped everyone in my life all my life. I am on a path to healing, we are getting stronger all of the time, but we need a village right now and to help us actually be able to thrive not survive. I have insurance, it doesn’t cover the things or doctors/dentists we have to use and need, and definitely not bills that are all beyond overdue. I want to heal and rise, to help others do the same and have schooling lined up, and businesses to start. I have so much good to give this world, and so does my daughter, she is the most amazing soul I have ever met, and it saddens me that because I/we were abused and have been by both of her father figures extensively, that we have to stay hidden, in the dark, without our community and without the supports we NEED because they intend for me to fail to take me down. They threaten me to not talk. It is sad that my teenager has stated that she would “use all of her college years just to learn to be an attorney to sue them for all of the damage and trauma they have put you/us through.” Heartwrenching. If anyone can help, please do, as much as you can, as soon as you can..10k is just a number. If anyone cannot see what a hardworking and good person and damn good mother I am through all of this extreme abuse and hardship preventing us from living our best life, and still wants to talk behind my back and instead judge me harshly for making the mistake of believing in these assholes when no one else would in the first place, and who gave them every chance under the sun before I had finally had enough, and would rather report to them than protect us from them and help… FUCK OFF AND GET OUT OF MY LIFE ONCE AND FOR ALL. We deserve so much better and I am doing all I can to make it all happen, and am deeply grateful for those of you who stay real, true to my heart, and know my heart and my work ethics. I can’t believe I even have a heart still, after it all, honestly. But I won’t let any of it ruin me, or her and our precious hearts. I have let it affect us too long and am ready to do whatever it takes to TAKE BACK OUR POWER (a lifetime of losing it/giving it up to MEN and their empty promises and lies). Thank you, I love you all, and cannot wait to be able to be back to my giving, loving, caring, kind, generous, happy, and joyous FREE self instead of having to be the one in need. I have so much to give the world, it kills me to ask anyone, ever :( Appreciate you all dearly