Hi friends,
I was deeply moved by the loving sendoff I received as I emptied and left my Montreal nest with a hopeful heart and big dreams for Korea. The 17 hours of travel were emotional—reflecting, grieving, drafting notes of gratitude—never imagining that I’d arrive to something so devastating.
While I was packing out of Montreal, my family briefly stayed in the Incheon apartment I had been living in (alone)—the home many of you were welcomed into, and the place I was returning to live long-term, which was also clear for my family.
During that visit, most of my belongings were disturbed, damaged, or removed, including my art, materials and supplies, clothing, live plants, my entire foraged herb collection used for workshops and herbalism practice, even basic toiletries. I found distressing and bewildering notes and marks on some personal photos. Nearly every object and area of the apartment was disturbed. Similar dynamics have played out before, however, the scope of harm and disruption here is new, and my distress about it has again been dismissed.
One of my major projects while in Korea was the zine on the spiritual and protracted violence that is habitat destruction. This event has rendered the space no longer a safe or livable habitat for me.
I’m a longtime student of crisis and nervous system management, but this has pushed me to the edge of basic functioning. My immune system, sleep, digestion, nerves, and existing injuries and inflammation have all gone haywire. It’s been three weeks now of trying to regain footing and put this summary together, while making urgent decisions, cycling through grief, dejection, overwhelm, betrayal, and exhaustion.
Why I Need Help
I’m now facing several urgent and costly paths forward, all requiring immediate funds just to land:
- Staying in Korea: securing housing with very high upfront deposits while navigating a foreign job and housing system with a still-new support network
- Returning to NYC: jumping back into Pilates grind to rebuild enough stability to leave again
- Returning to Montreal: starting over while still without PR/work permit
I’ve supported myself for years through grants, teaching, writing, and hands-on care work—rewarding, meaningful, but financially unstable labor. Those who attended my moving sale know that was also not a profit move—it was an intentional rehoming of priceless belongings to support a landing plan that no longer exists. I had planned carefully for this relocation but with slim to no margins and I simply don’t have the financial buffer to absorb the sudden instability, loss of housing, work, materials, and property all at once.
***Direct, lossless contributions via Zelle, Venmo, PayPal (US), and e-transfer/bank transfer (Canada/Korea) are deeply appreciated—account infos below***
How Funds Will Be Used
- Relocation costs: flights, temporary housing, and/or housing deposits (depending on the most viable option)
- Replacing essentials: work materials, clothing, medications, and basic household items
- Healthcare: stabilizing my health and continuing treatment for existing injuries
>> Funds exceeding my goal would go towards:
- Legal & administrative support to document losses and protect myself moving forward
- Building enough stability to reclaim my dog, whose access and well-being have historically been affected by family dynamics.
I’m deeply grateful to everyone who has already shown up for me!! Literally wouldn’t be here without you.
Times are tough and there’s an ocean of need already and I can’t pretend I’m any more urgent or worthy than anyone else. This is also the first time I’ve been so deeply at the mercy of network generosity. I’m eager to get through all this and back to the work yall seen and supported me all these years.
Beyond financial help, I’d also be endlessly grateful for:
* Physical or virtual accompaniment as I get through dozens of heartbreaking tasks
* Any housing leads in Seoul
* Any legal contacts
This is a neutralized, sanitized, and abbreviated version for safe public posting. Any offers to hold more of the story with me would mean more than I can say.
Thank you for reading and witnessing,
Lex
***Direct, lossless contributions are deeply appreciated***
Zelle, Paypal, Canadian e-transfer: [my regular gmail, please contact if needed]
Venmo: @yesleftknee
Korean bank transfer: [please contact if needed]
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Context & FAQ
If it’s been so bad, why were you living in that apartment?
It wasn’t the original plan. But this otherwise unoccupied family apartment (lease held by father) was offered with a clear agreement that I’d be the primary occupant for the foreseeable future and contribute financially. After a year of repair with my mother—and long periods of no contact with family—it felt like a realistic and hopeful step. I moved in, built a home, and planned my life around being there.
When did this happen?
The apartment was occupied briefly by family in early November. During that time, I raised concerns about how family dynamics might be impacted, which were dismissed. I arrived back on December 1 to find the apartment in the condition described above.
Why involve legal help now?
I learned early not to seek accountability out of fear of retaliation. However the scope of the loss and disruption has made it necessary to document what occurred and to seek guidance on how to protect myself and my property moving forward.
Can’t you just get a job and move?
I’m trying. I’m struggling with where is the most viable place to do that, which I know is a privilege in itself. The losses include artwork, specialized work materials, personal property accumulated over many years, and the sudden loss of housing and stability. Replacing these, while simultaneously relocating, job searching, and managing health impacts, exceeds what I can absorb alone right now.