Support Elena Candelaria's "Lola" Funeral

Elena Candelaria "Lola"

This is the hardest thing I have ever had to write. My grandmother, the woman who raised me as her daughter, the pillar of strength in all my family member’s lives, died on November 3, 2023. My name is Karolina Strain, and if you are reading this, thank you for taking the time to consider helping my family honor my grandmother. My grandmother’s name is Elena Candelaria; she was born on October 10, 1940, in Puerto Rico. She had a wonderful lifelong marriage with my grandfather, Angel Candelaria until he died on January 21, 2010. They had five kids and came to the United States to start a better life.

This woman deeply valued God, family, and hard work. Every day of her life, she worked to help support her family. While my family is poor and dysfunctional, she provided light and strength in all of our lives. She was the strongest woman I’ve ever known. She never turned anyone away in need and believed in the power of family to overcome any obstacle. Her magic power was her hugs; when she hugged you, there was no doubt in your mind that you were cared for deeply and you could survive any of life’s challenges. Elena, who we referred to her as “Lola,” was the most caring, honest, charming person ever to grace this world. As far as I am concerned, she was the original feminist, believing that women could accomplish it all. Her opinion was women could work, raise children, and have a successful marriage; all they had to do was work hard each day. She set the standard by working from home every day, making homemade Puerto Rican delicacies, and selling them as street food to provide financial support for my family while helping to raise her grandchildren and maintaining a home. Her hands were the strongest, ripping through anything as if it were a piece of paper, and yet they were the most tender hands that clearly reared babies for a lifetime. The house always smelled like the best restaurant in the world with the aromas of Cuban coffee, deep-fried empanadas, and the best arroz con pollo ever made. When she laughed, you couldn’t help but laugh along with her, forgetting you didn’t know why she was laughing in the first place. She never lied as she felt it was a waste of time and yours; cutting straight to the point, she provided the most insightful, honest advice. She died of a massive heartache, and to say we have all felt the pain of her heart attack is an understatement.

My father, her primary caretaker, or was she his, is left in an abyss of sorrow, loneliness, and pain. Since my grandfather’s death, my father has been her primary caretaker, helping her recover from two comas and multiple hospitalizations throughout the years. My father is physically disabled from years of working as a driller since the age of eighteen. He alone has been taking care of my grandmother, who has been wheelchair-bound for several years, her sister, who is physically disabled, my uncle, who is neurologically disabled, and my brother, who is mentally disabled with schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. They have been living in a two-bedroom apartment in Homestead, FL, utilizing their disability assistance to pay for their rent and living expenses. Needless to say, losing my grandmother is not something we can afford, both mentally and financially. I am creating this GoFundMe to help my father pay for my grandmother’s funeral and burial costs. I know there are many causes out there that need support, and so the question becomes, why help my family? The answer is that we would be more grateful than any words could describe; she was loved, and if you knew her, you would have loved her too, and she would love you. My grandmother and father taught me that it is part of our moral responsibility to help others whenever possible with whatever we have to offer. This Christian worldview has helped me become the person I am today, a master-level graduate student in social work. So here I am asking you to take a moment and help because that’s all I can do, is humble myself and ask for the help we need. Help me honor my grandmother, who raised me as her daughter, mi mama.