Hi I’m Eleanor and I need a hysterectomy. Since I was 10 years old I’ve had long, painful, heavy periods that have kept me from school, work, friends, etc. I have tried various forms of birth control with disastrous side effects. Since turning 30 things have only gotten worse. I spend more than one day of my 1-2 week long periods shaking in pain, blinded by what I feel in my abdomen.

I have known since my early 20s that children were not for me. This has been thought over and debated many times and is no longer ever a question. I do not want them. It is not a life I see for myself and not who I want to be. The only way I and previous doctors have seen a way out of this (that doesn’t involve scary amounts of dangerous hormone treatments) is to remove the uterus and thereby end my periods. I would still produce estrogen but remove the thing that I now consider a parasite. A xenomorph or a plague or any other foreign contaminant that I need to rid myself of. It causes me to hate and distrust my body and lose so much enjoyment and fullness in my life that I believe I am entitled to.

I have had so much trouble finding a doctor to take my insurance and will probably have to find a way to cancel what I have and get something else. Lab bills are already coming in and I keep having to use up my sick time as quickly as it comes in.

I still don’t know when I can actually get surgery since figuring out my insurance mess is taking up all of my time and energy now. All the while the clock keeps ticking towards my next period and the next few weeks of my life that I will lose to this once again.

I need help. Even beyond financial help I need emotional or mental support. Help figuring out this insurance, finding a doctor, potentially having to go outside of Tucson to find a doctor I can use.

Any and all support and help would be appreciated. Please send this to anyone or anywhere you see fit. Please don’t ask me about changing my mind about kids, we are so far past that, nothing will change.

thank you