Elaine Watson End of Life Expenses

Hi, my name is Ashley Watson. And if you’re seeing this, I’ve exhausted all efforts and have no other way. Believe me if there was, none of us would be here. I hate asking for help. I’m being as transparent as possible so please bear with me… 

If you know me personally, you know how this year has been for me and my family. But here’s a recap in case you don’t:

In December 2023, my dad went into ICU with Pneumonia and it’s been a roller coaster ever since. And when I say that, I mean it in the most literal sense. We fought for a month to keep my daddy alive. But on January 7th, my world as I knew it came crashing down around my feet. My dad died after spending 29 days in the ICU on a ventilator. I missed it by 10 minutes. I went home to feed my son lunch and just like that… he was gone. I got the call and rushed back but I was too late. Knowing he was alone, I was crushed beyond belief, but immediately went to work planning everything, and doing the best I could for my grieving mother who had just lost her partner of 41 years. I didn’t have time to grieve myself because there was work to do. I planned his funeral, and we started the long process of probate court to get everything he left behind in her name so she wouldn’t lose everything. In March 2024, my mom called me saying she needed to go to the hospital for a migraine that wouldn’t go away. On March 25th, I heard the one sentence no one ever wants to hear. “Your mom has cancer.” I nearly flipped the table in that moment. I thought “How is this fair?! I just lost my dad!!! Now not even 2 months later, my mom is sick too?” Stage 4, with metastasis to several other parts including the brain. I kept thinking “but she seems fine. How is it this bad?!” But I held strong and immediately got her into the doctor to start treatment. In April, she started radiation and did 10 treatments. The radiation was hard. She was a mess. She was so tired and weak. We couldn’t find anything she liked eating because everything tasted bad. She lost a lot of her hair so we ended up shaving it. I stayed strong in that moment for her. I kept saying “It’s only hair mom….We can beat this.” On May 20th, she was set up to start chemo and immunotherapy. But that came to a stop because on May 19th, she went into the hospital with intense stomach pain and unable to keep anything down. Pancreatitis had hit her hard. She was in the hospital for 8 days. I spent my 39th birthday at her side in a hospital room one floor above where my dad died. Upon discharge, she was sent to a nursing home. I could not stomach the idea of leaving her in a place like that, but she couldn’t walk or be alone, so I signed an AMA form and took her to my sister in laws house for physical therapy where I knew she would be safe and have access to nurses. She’s been there 3 weeks now. 

Today my mom, my best friend, passed away. 

She has life insurance but it doesn’t pay off fully for 2 years, and nothing is settled in probate regarding her house. I’ve been taking care of her bills and animals while she’s gone, but with her being on a fixed income that doesn’t leave much room for saving. Someone told me that if 3000 people donate $10 it’s possible, and to make this donation link.

And if my dad taught me anything at all this year, it’s that dying is incredibly expensive and requires a plan. I’ve done the math and with what we still owe for my dad ($1500), the potential cost of last expenses ($6000), and the cost for probate forms ($1000) should I have to start all over, we are looking at about $8500. Plus whatever the cost of paying off any account balances or bills left due, and my dad’s truck payment which still has $17,000 owed because I cannot lose anything else this year and that truck was his pride and joy. So I’m setting the goal at $30,000 just to be sure, which I know seems lofty and unrealistic but it’s what I’d need to secure everything and make sure I’m not going broke myself. I have set up a Chime account strictly for this and can show proof of every payment made.

Everything is left on me, and while I’m knowledgeable enough to handle it (I think), I’m just not rich enough and my mom and dad deserve to have their legacy secured. I hate to even do this. But it is necessary. Thank you if you got this far. My mom is my best friend, and life without her and my dad is something I never imagined I’d see before 40. I am trying so hard to be strong but I don’t know how much I’ve got left in me. 2024 has kicked my ass in spades round for round. I’m just trying to keep my head above water here, and if I’m being honest… this is rough seas.