El Chapo Needs You: Hospital Bills at $20k

I humbly and gratefully come to everyone I know and everyone that knows El Chapo to please consider donating to his hospitalization fund. He somehow miraculously survived being hit by a car (suffering extensive injuries; yet his little head, chest and all his organs remain intact and his vitals stable). He has been steadily improving and becomes more chipper and bright each day.

However, his full recovery will require lengthy hospitalization and even surgery for either fracture repairs or amputation or both. Since this will be a very expensive yet likely recovery, I am coming to his friends and family to ask if they have the means during this already strained holiday season to contribute to Chapito’s cause. I can guarantee you, for everyone that donates, they will receive innumerable kisses de chapo, and my undying gratitude.

His medical bills have already hit $20k. And after surgery, probably another $20k. I know it might feel ludicrous to spend this giant sum on such a petite pup, but if you know Chapo, you will readily admit that he brings laughter and smiles with every bossy bounce. And the joy he brings us is priceless. He is a gift to the world. My sister and niece rescued him off the streets almost four years ago, and now I take him with me everywhere I go. He is my shadow, my sidekick, my best bud, my road dawg. He is literally the perfect pooch. And since I taught him not to beg, I will have to do all the solicitation on his behalf. Any amount is appreciated. Bigger amounts will earn you lifetime visitation rights.