*Trigger warning* my story includes discussion of mental health and ICU admission.

I have had a long battle with my mental health. With my last crisis being several years ago, I naively thought those dark chapters of my life were over and it didn’t have a hold over me anymore. However, in October 2025 I relapsed. I felt ashamed it had come back and it was still part of me. I felt that the only way to make it stop would be to give in.

The rest of my story has been pieced together through my own recollections and nurses recounts during my critical care support clinics.

I arrived in resus, hypothermic and unconscious. I was sedated and connected to a ventilator to maintain my airway and help protect damage to my brain. Whilst I was on ICU in the coma I developed complications including seizures, a heart arrhythmia and aspiration pneumonia.

After a week the doctors managed to bring me out of the coma. Delirium and vivid hallucinations set in. I lost all sense of reality. I searched my body for surgical scars. I was convinced that all my organs had been removed. I was petrified of falling asleep and refused to shut my eyes for days. Muscle wastage left me unable to walk.

Final scans confirmed no organ damage and I was transferred to a psychiatric hospital where I spent a month recovering. I owe everything to the doctors that saved my life.

During my recovery, one message stood out ‘Take one day at a time Nina, you have done marathons and know how to take one step at a time’ On that note, on the 4th July, my best friend Jodie and I will be undertaking the 31 mile Peak District challenge, fundraising for a charity called the critical care support network (CCSN). I suffered with post ITU syndrome - insomnia, flashbacks and PTSD from the hallucinations and delirium experienced. After reading stories of other ICU survivors through the support network, I realised I was not alone.

The CCSN aims to help ICU survivors make the best possible recovery. They offer meetings where worries can be shared, exercise sessions to help rebuild muscles, relaxation techniques and social events to ease the transition back to normal life. Any donation will help make an impact. Thanks in advance for your contribution.

Nina x