Yesterday makes 1 year since Jesse fell at work, resulting in a TBI (traumatic brain injury) and a crushed T11/T12 in his spine.

In the last year Jesse has been diagnosed with temporal lobe epilepsy. As a result of his grand mahl seizures, his spine is failing to heal. He has had numerous falls bc of his seizures, causing more and more trauma to his body over the last 12 months. Most recently, he had a seizure and fell and broke his right clavicle.

We have been to at least a hundred doctor appointments from various specialists (neurology, Ortho, cardio, GI, and then some) and physical therapy appointments. Have been to the emergency room more times in the last year than I have throughout my entire 41 years of life for myself or either of my kiddos (which if you know them, you know I've been a LOT, especially w my fearless skater son, Marcus) In fact, Jesse was in the ER just the other day and admitted to the neurology floor. He is hoping to be discharged soon as he's going stir crazy sitting in bed all day long while I'm at work or at home making sure everything there is taken care of.

In reality he is going stir crazy when not in the hospital as well. He has lost the majority of his independence due to these medical problems. This man used to work every single day at a job with people he loved and has worked with for 10 years. He used to ride his motorcycle in his free time or drive out to Lebanon to visit his dear friends and family on the weekends. He was always happy and laughing and making everyone around him laugh and smile. To be around Jesse is a blessing. It's nearly impossible to feel down around him because he always spends his time lifting others up and making sure everyone is okay and feels safe. He used to dance with me every chance he could get, didn't matter if we were in a parking lot alone in the middle of the night, or at a wedding surrounded by people. The guy just loves to move, and now he can't.

Watching him over the last year lose the ability to do any of these things and so much more (solo showering, getting to the restroom alone, using stairs, walking, fishing by himself, driving a vehicle, or just simply going out and being social without fear of having an unexpected seizure and feeling embarrassed) and watching his spirit break down slowly day by day has been beyond difficult to witness.

All he wants to do is get back to work and go back to life and not have to struggle so much with the other hardships that come from all of this. The financial struggle has gotten real, and for him to go from being 100% independent and capable, to feeling like he can no longer provide for himself or for us is weighing deeply on his mental health as I'm sure you can imagine..

Jesse was denied workman's comp AND disability. (we are appealing these decisions). He lost his home because he was unable to pay rent from not being able to work anymore. (Still owes landlord past due rent) His truck has broken down (still owes on the truck) and we can't afford to pay these debts nor fix the truck on my income, so I am relying on Uber and my son Marcus to get to/from work, doctors appointments, emergency rooms, grocery stores... And so on... we have been living in a motel that Marcus and I are able to scrape up enough money for weekly to keep a roof over Jesse, Marcus, Silas and my heads. Surely it goes without saying but the medical debt is astronomical.

The goal of saving for a home to rent that is cheaper than a motel room is damn near impossible at the rate everything is going.

Jesse never wanted me to ask anyone for help. He and I hoped and we really expected he would be approved for disability due to his diagnosis and all of his limitations. We were so disappointed and frustrated when he was denied last month. We thought he would be approved and receive back pay from the date of filing, which could help us move into a place, fix the truck in time for winter, and be able to breathe and finally rest easy for a change without going to sleep at night wondering how we would manage tomorrow.

Everything of value is in the pawn shop. Everything that we could sell has been sold, with the exception of his motorcycle. His motorcycle (Tiffany) is motivation and encouragement to keep on fighting to figure out how to get through all of this and get his seizures under control with medication so he can one day ride her again. He's offered to sell her multiple times and I refuse to let him. So please don't even mention it. He could probably get $1000 for her and that wouldn't even cover 1 month at the motel. It would be an absolute waste of his last asset.)

We owe friends and family not just money but our gratitude for all the help, prayers, and love they have sent our way over the last year without us even asking.

I know times are hard for everyone, but if you are able to spare even a dollar or a share on this GoFundMe, I wonder if we might be able to start to at least get to the surface, or better yet, above water and stop drowning while we continue to navigate this barely possible time in our lives.

I'm staying optimistic even on the days I end up crying silently in the shower. Jesse and I and both of my children have been through a LOT in our lifetime. We are all tough as nails. There's no way we can't or won't make it through all of this given our track record of getting through hardships, but I just had to finally reach out and ask for help.

We're at a standstill and could just use a little push over this hill. Starting to feel defeated, especially around the holidays is taking it's toll on my mental health as well but I wont give up without one helluva fight. Bet. ❤️