A Call for Help

EDITED 6/9/25 It's been a month since I have written here. This has been so hard. I don't envy anyone that has had to go through this or those that are just starting their journey. I start feeling horrible usually the Friday after Chemo and lasting about 10 days. I normally don't get out of my pjs during this time, which Gherkin loves because I am always home. Then I feel good for about 10 days just in time for another treatment. I just had my 5th chemo on the 8th and today my WBC booster. I feel pretty good today, however, I know I will feel lousy come Friday or Saturday. I may have only 1 more treatment. I have another Echocardiogram scheduled for the 22nd to verify my heart is still doing well, along with the breast surgeon on the 22nd to discuss what surgery I will get. I am still undecided. It's a tough decision. An Echocardiogram is required prior to my much needed MRI and PET scan. My breast sugery is scheduled for August 28th. Please pray for my breast cancer and lymphnode to have shrunk. I can't wait to be done with this. I know GOD wouldn't give me more than I can handle. Thank you so much for continuing to donate (all money has gone directly towards medical bills): money, cards, gifts left on my door step and in my mailbox, food brought to our house have helped me/us so much! The meals are amazing! For all the rides: to and from swim practices, swim meets, doctor appointments, neighbors cutting our lawn, Thank you! I truly love you all and appreciate everyone's generosity and love to us!

EDITED 5/9/25 It's been 3 days since Chemo, 2 days since my WBC booster and I still feel lousy. I am not bed ridden this time, and my head doesn't hurt nearly as bad. I'm trying to think positive. I know there is light at the end of this dark tunnel. Thank you everyone for your continued prayers and for continuing to donate to my getting better! We love you all so much! ❤️

5/5/25 It has been a week again since I've posted here. Tomorrow is my second Chemo treatment. I'm not looking forward to being sick for a week or 2 afterwards. Hoping this time is better. Although I've heard 2nd and 3rd are the worst. We'll see. Another step closer to getting better, right?

I still have such a long road, and 15 weeks can't come soon enough. I won't really be done with everything; mastectomy in August with reconstruction. Then more Hep-2 drugs for 6 months- possible radiation. Good Lord...I think I've had enough.

Thank you to everyone who has donated here, and given to me directly! The money you've generously given, some of you giving multiple times, went directly toward bills. I still have a big bill coming, but man, you guys helped cover my 1st 2 big ones, over 2 thousand each! I dont know how we would have gotten this far, without your generosity. Thank you for the prayers. I've felt every one of them! Thank you for messaging me privately. I love that you took the time out of your day to personally message me! Thank you for gifting us food, soups! Those are amazing on days I can't cook. A Huge Thank you to Taylor for assisting with Thatcher's school, driving him to band, swim, and cooking for him. Dad and I love you so very much ❤️ Evan is my rock, and is an amazing human!

I appreciate everyone for thinking of me, and deciding to gift me something, or even your time; being a shoulder I could cry on. Believe me, there have been lots of those! I love you all My story's not over, it's just beginning

4/27/25 It has been a week since I posted. This chemo has been rough. At times I thought my head was going to pop, my face was beat red, and I simply felt horrible. My temperature reached a high of 101.7 last night. I called the doctor Thursday, and she gave me 600mg Ibuprofen I have to take every 6 hours. Which helps for the first 4-5 hours, then the massive head pain and fever for about 2 hours. Until my next dose kicks in.

The doctor said if my temp got to 102 go to the ER. I haven't vomited at all, yet. Ive been drinking water and liquid IV to get electrolytes in me.

My sense of taste is gone. It seems like I have covid, but I don't. I've discovered watered down apple juice and cran-grape are delicious. Eating food isn't appealing. I can't taste anything. Although some air fried french fries yesterday were delicious with salt on them.

I have another bill coming for 1900$ The rest of my out of pocket maximum, 6250. My insurance is supposed to cover 100% after this last 1900 is met. If you can donate, Please do. No amount is too small. If you believe in the power of prayer, Please pray. I want to Thank everyone that donated thus far. Your generosity amazes me and your prayers have saved me. Every day is a blessing. Don't take a day for granted.

I've cried until I have no more tears.

I am so sick of this! Only 15 more weeks (5 treatments). Seems like eternity. XOXO

4/20/25 The past 5 days have been ups and downs. One moment I feel great, and the next my stomach is churning and hurts super bad. This has been awful. I am extremely grateful for another day here, and for friends/family to lean on. I appreciate all of you helping me get through this. My Chemo journey has just started. Please keep me in your thoughts. Please keep praying for me.

4/15/25 My Chemo treatment went ok. It wasn't terrible, I guess. Just another day for getting better. My face feels flush and is red this evening. I don't have a fever, which is good.

My pelvic lymphnode biopsy came back negative! I had Evan read the results tonight because I was too afriad to look. But, I don't have cancer in it. So the cancer is localized to my left breast. Which all considering, is bad but not as bad as it could have been.

I am still scared. I know I have to have a mastectomy of my left breast after Chemo. But when I think of the grand scheme of things, every situation could have been much worse. So I'll consider this a win for me.

Thank you for donating. Thank you for caring. Thank you for thinking of me. Thank you for praying for me. Thank you everyone. I appreciate and love you all for being so kind, and extremely generous. ❤️

4/12/25 My port site is healing. Still uncomfortable and slightly irritating, but now tolerable. Yesterday I had my pelvic lymphnode biopsy. I was scared when the doctor said he was going right through my left butt cheek to get the biopsy. Apparently that direction was easier than going though my belly. OUCH! My left cheek is a bit sore, but again tolerable. I will get those results next week.

I start my Chemo on Tuesday, regardless what the results are for the biopsy. I am nervous and scared, but I know this has to happen to get me better.

I am sad that after finally being my natural gray color, I will more than likely loose my hair.

Evan, Taylor and Thatcher have taken up a lot of the responsibilities at home. I am forever grateful for them.

I never would have anticipated getting breast cancer. We never know what our life has in store for us. Each day is truly a blessing.

The donations I've received thus far have helped to cover some of my out of pocket expenses. I posted some of my bigger bills earlier, and lots more are pending. Thank you for continuing to pray for me and donating to my cancer treatment. I appreciate everyone's generosity. XOXO

4/7/25 Today is Taylor's 19th Birthday! I can't believe it! I am grateful I have been gifted another day here to celebrate her.

My port site is healing. Although I am terrified to take the bandage off, it doesn't hurt as bad anymore. I am grateful for that. Tomorrow I have a consultation with a breast surgeon. I am not looking forward to Friday's pelvic biopsy. Sounds like it might be painful. The lord wouldn't give me anything I can't handle. I am just wondering, why keep choosing me to walk these paths? Please continue to pray hard for me, keep me in your thoughts. My journey through this has only begun. I am still scared out of my mind. I will take each day as it passes. Thank you everyone. Your donations and prayers are an amazing gift. Thank You so much for everything!

4/3/25 Today I had a follow-up with my breast surgeon. Bad news, there are a lot of small cancerous cells in my left boob, which will require a mastectomy of my left boob, after my 6 rounds of chemo (to treat my cancerous lymphnode in my armpit). Good news my biopsy came back in my right boob, and I DON'T have cancer in that boob. That's a win. Please pray for my next biopsy (11th) of my pelvis lymphnode is not cancerous. I don't need anything else on my plate. Thank you everyone for donating and praying! It means the world to me that all of you care.

4/2/25 I had my port placement today. It was scary, as most things are. I came out saying I am alive. I have not received my results from my additional biopsies yet. Hoping those come in this week.

I received my genetic testing back. I do NOT have the gene to pass down to the kids. That is the best news EVER! I was so concerned about that. Keep those prayers coming in. I need them all.

3/31/25 I know this cancer is in me. I guess that's the scariest part. I used to not think about life and how quickly it can end, even with all the trauma I've been through. I always thought "I've got this", and move on... until now. I have no control of this. I have to trust that my doctors have my best interest at heart. I am scared of what tomorrow holds. Some good news: my Hematoma is slowly fading. Although it looks like I've been beat up on my chest, I have just a small bump in my right breast. Thank you to everyone that has donated thus far. I am grateful to have so much support. I appreciate you all.

3/28/25 The Hematoma in my right breast will not affect my port placement on the 2nd, because it goes into my clavicle, not my breast. Good to know. My 1st Chemo treatment is pushed to the 15th, because another biopsy is needed for a swollen lymph node in my pelvis area, which will require anesthesia. I swear, I just can't catch a break. Please keep those prayers coming. I really need them. Thank you to everyone that has donated and is praying for me.

EDITED:

Yesterday was traumatic. After 5 hours getting both breasts biopsied, I now have a hematoma in my right breast. It hurts. I tried wiping myself after going pee, and it split open the small cut on my right breast, causing blood to ooze out. Evan and I made it to Urgent care, for bandage replacement and a new chest wrap. Which by the way is not fun. I'm suppsed to take off the chest wrap, but I am terrified its going to bleed again. Now waiting for a call back from my doctor to see how this hematoma will affect my port placement next week. Keep praying guys! This sucks!

The money that has been donated thus far has helped me cover some of the bills. I appreciate all of you who have donated so much. Your generosity hasn't gone unnoticed. This is my bill from yesterday 3/26. You guys are helping me save my life. Thank you

EDITED:

3/25/25 I had my Echocardiogram to verify how my heart is. I got the ok for surgery. I also had my GYN Oncologist appointment. They biopsied my Uterus. It will take a few days for those results to come back. I will be getting another biopsy of my lymph nodes near my pelvic bone to see what's going on there.

3/26/25 Today I am getting a biopsy of both breasts, due to the areas in question. I also have a hair preservation appointment. I'm not sure what that entails, but we'll find out.

EDITED:

3/24/25 I have a Chemo Teach appointment today, so I can learn about what to expect next week. I am SO scared guys!

3/23/25 Keep praying guys! This is so hard to write, but I do need to keep everyone in the loop. On Friday I received a phone call from My Oncologist. My MRI shows something in my right breast, requiring a biopsy of that one as well. My PET scan showed density on my upper uterus, as well as some enlarged lymph nodes? Could be something, or nothing. On Tuesday I go to a GYN Oncologist, to hopefully get some tests done on my uterus. A port for Chemo can't come soon enough. Not that I'm looking forward to having it. However, I AM looking forward to being cancer free. I need this out of me. My metal health is declining. Evan, Taylor and Thatcher, along with my friends, are super supportive. I appreciate that. Even through these dark times, I NEED light. I appreciate everyone whom has donated so far. It truly means the world to me. Thank You so much!

EDITED:

3/17/25 I am beyond scared. The unknowns are the worst. I pray. I pray for myself. I pray for Evan, Taylor and Thatcher. I will keep praying while I am waiting for answers. Please pray for me. I need GOD to help me. I just got done with my MRI. It was a crazy experience. I could feel shocks going through my body, and every zap made my intestines wiggle. My heart started racing. I was listening to Jeremy Camp, and he calmed me down. Evan was in there with ear plugs in too. He had to get the full experience. This is extremely hard. Another box checked to figure out what's going on inside my body. Everything has been moving extremely fast, after the first 5 days with no answers. Although I am scared beyond belief, I am grateful to have an amazing team.

3/18/25 I want to be as transparent as possible. I want you to know and see where all your gofund me is helping me. You guys have helped me cover the 1st bill yesterday (My portion is 600.67) and a majority of the bill tomorrow (My portion is 2,196.83). I can't begin to understand why I have such a high deductible, especially for services that are beyond my control. I guess we have to roll with the punches and take each hit as they happen; all while praying I will get better. Thank you for donating and praying for me. Keep those prayers coming.

3/19/25 On our way to my PET scan. Please pray. Pray hard and loud for me.

3/20/25 Back to the office today for Genetic testing to be done. I do not have the BRCA gene, however, with the history of cancer in my family Genetic testing is a must. This entire process has freaked me out. Thank you so much for donating. I appreciate everyone's help in getting me better.

3/21/25 Thank you again. Your generosity amazes me. I will have so many more bills to come, as appointments take place. I appreciate you all helping me through this. Now I wait for my my doctor to call me with results. Pray for me

3/5/25 I am not one to ask for anything, but now I NEED HELP! Serious help.

I'm sorry if I haven’t been able to personally talk to you. My mind is going crazy.

I have been diagnosed with Breast Cancer. I’m not sure what stage I am in. I don't have a treatment plan yet.

3/9/25 I haven't been able to speak to my doctor. Go figure, she has been on vacation. I’ve called everywhere trying to get answers over the past 3 days. I’m hoping tomorrow, Monday, I have some answers. Any answers. I need an MRI, and an oncologist, but I can’t make an appointment without a referral, and I need the referral from my doctor. I am praying for stage 0. Please pray for me. I've been doing a lot of research, and let me tell you, the internet is scary! I've cried myself to the point I have no more tears, I am shocked…and then I think of Taylor, Thatcher, and Evan spending their lives without me, makes me so extremely sad, that I cry again. It is a vicious cycle.

I have health insurance. However, after looking at my insurance plan, I don’t know exactly what it will cover. It says 50% of all treatments?, after my deductible is met, but I am not sure how accurate that is. Researching the costs of Cancer is scary and I’m unsure what the cost of my treatment will be.

I want to live. I want to see grandbabies. I want to see Thatcher graduate. They need me just as much as I need them.

This is an emotional rollercoaster.

I will update tomorrow, after speaking to my doctor.

3/10/25 Rather than waiting for my doctor to call me, I decided to be at her office 1st thing and talk to her in person. I didn’t have an appointment, but figured she HAS to talk to me. Evan drove me. I was so mad at her for not contacting me for 5 days, all while knowing this Cancer is in me. In my report from the radiologist, she knew on 3/5/25 @2:34pm. I gave her a mouthful. She apologized about everything. Which didn’t make it better. I got my referral in hand and sat in the parking lot making phone calls; Evan to our insurance company and me to the Oncologist. After waiting a few more hours, my oncologist called me back with an appointment for 2pm tomorrow. She said this cannot wait any longer.

I am still scared. I’ve slept about 8 ½ hours since Tuesday night. I am afraid to sleep and not wake up. I still don’t have an answer. I still am unsure what exactly is going on with me, other than I have Breast Cancer.

I will update again after my oncologist appointment tomorrow.

3/11/25 My oncologist appointment is today. And I think I’ve finally reserved up the courage to post this and get the ball rolling on my next steps. I waited to tell everyone, even the most important people in my life, my immediate family members, because like in this post, I have no answers for anyone. I finally got some sleep last night, even if it was only for a few hours, and I woke up this morning saying loudly “I AM ALIVE” with the biggest smile on my face.

Guys, this is scary!

3/11/25, evening- I have a Breast Surgeon, Dr. Katerina Tsiapali. She is amazing, and explained in detail of what is about to happen to me. I am Stage 1, possibly 2. She won't know until more tests are done. I am scared out of my mind with how fast everything is moving.

I have an appointment Thursday with Radiation Oncology and another one right after with Medical Oncology, PET scan on March 19th and MRI on March 26th, and a follow up with my Doctor on April 3rd. Surgery will be soon after.

I am not sure why life throws us curve balls. This is another hurdle that I have to jump. I pray I have the strength to jump high enough over it

With everything going on, I initially forgot today is our Anniversary. 19 years have flown by so fast. Time needs to slow down.

I will update as I can, after appointments, and as time passes.

Thank You for even considering. It really does mean the world to me.

If you are unable to donate, please PRAY for me and share this.

3/15/25 Everyone is telling me to stay calm. It is so hard to eat, sleep, stay calm while walking through this shit storm. I’ve seen people with Breast Cancer. I’ve gone on a bunch of Marches for Breast Cancer and donated lots for research. I never thought in a million years I would get it. I guess GOD chose me to travel this path. I don’t know why that is. I fear what is going to happen to me; terrified. My tears are hard to contain, as I write this. My world has been turned upside down.

At every appointment I’ve been to, I am another stage. Currently Stage 2.

My MRI has been moved to Monday. My PET scan is staying the same, Wednesday. I’m hoping and praying with every breath I have for GOD to save me. I pray the cancer hasn’t spread to organs, which my PET will tell that. An Echocardiogram is being scheduled as we speak, to make sure my heart can handle Chemo treatments; especially because of the open-heart surgery I had due to the accident in 2002. A port placement is getting scheduled as well. I do feel this is the best option for me. So long as the cancer hasn’t spread, I will be on Chemo for 6 treatments; once every 3 weeks, then surgery sometime in July, with 6 months follow on Chemo treatments, and I’ll be put on hormone therapy for 5 years. What the actual hell.

I would never have known I had this growing inside me. I did not have a lump. Please go get your yearly Mammogram. Don’t wait for a second. Cancer knows no boundaries. PRAY for me, donate anything you can. You all impress me with your generosity, love, and support. I Desperately NEED all the love, support and prayers right now. This is tough. This is Scary as hell. I am so lost.