Help Ashley

I am finally ready to write about what is going on. So rewind to when I had Autumn in November of 2017. Wonderful birth and wonderful new nugget. Fast forward to 3 months and planning to come back to work. I started to have some dizzy spells and couldn't walk very well. I thought it was the strain of giving birth and breastfeeding so tried to take it easy. Eventually I stopped breastfeeding thinking that might help. Fast forward  to Cate's birthday in August and still feeling aweful. I lost movement on my right side and ability to walk and extreme double vision. Down to UCLA. Mind you, I have a 4 yr old and 9 month old. And a very devoted husband who just opened a new restaurant, is making wine & cider and is basically a single dad.  So we have scans done and find out that I have not one but 2 brain tumors in my cerabellum and my spinal cord. At this point, I can not walk, take care of myself, can't move my arms and legs- basically everything that is to be a human I can't do. Just wait, it gets better.  One night as I lay in bed, Kevin hands me 2 Tylenol because I have a splitting headache but I found out  that I can't swallow so I asperate on the Tylenol and breath in water. I can't breathe, it's like I am drowning, so ambulance comes and I am revived. 

New chapter. I developed pneumonia and lost any ability to speak or eat. Purred foods were ok if I could gum it but I had to be careful not to asperate again. I was in the hospital for a week and weighed 85lbs. I had to get a feeding tube. Eventually I came home with Kevin and basically been learning ever since to be the person who I used to be. I still can't walk and I still am very dizzy but I am eating regular food now and took my first bath with the girls in almost 2 years the other night. Autumn is so healthy but has decided to eat everything in sight so she weighs about 35lbs...She was too heavy to hold all this time so I had to watch from afar. Now I can lift her on to my chair and try to make up for lost time. 3 weeks ago she didn’t really know that I was her momma. She knew I was someone familiar but wouldn't come to me or give me kisses or hugs. Now finally she says momma and reaches for me to give kisses. I am telling this story not because I am trying to get sympathy - Kevin and my mom need help. Out of the people who know, 2 have come forth with shining swords. My great friends Yvonne Macias and Heather Gray-Plale. Among others who have helped watch the girls, Luann, Shauna, Julie, if I am forgetting anyone, thank you so much. They are pretty much it. This has been really tough on Kevin and mom are literally exhausted, essentially putting life on hold. Mom comes to help me and the girls Thursday through Saturday. I broke my nose about a month ago and now I have a huge bump on my nose! Talk about really bad timing! So when you can't do anything but watch your loved ones slowly deteriorate from the inside, you almost can't take it. So I am reaching out because I don't know what else to do. I basically need someone's to come in and watch me and Autumn for about 4 or 5 hours Monday through Friday and maybe even the occasional Friday night. If there are any night owls from around 9pm to 12am, that would be awesome! Again, I wouldn't ask if I didn't need help. Ashley 

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So to the friends and family that aren't in the immediate area, I just thought you would want to know what was going on. I don't want any more than what you have already done. Which is sending me a text or thinking about me from time to time. Thank you so much for the well wishes and support. Just knowing you are there makes me feel not so alone. And to the family and friends who are in the area, thank for all the support and love you have shown me. I know everyone has a situation to deal with. Whether it is a dad, mom, husband, wife, child or  friend - we all have something, I am sorry to say. I am so blessed and humbled that so many people have reached out but just to know you are there helps more than you know. ♡ Ashley