I might have enough money

My husband and I have the best marriage.  We are together 24/7  with exception of going to post office, or grocery store, and then we miss each other.  In 2012 he was having trouble eating, food was sticking and then coming back up.  He went to see a Gastro Doctor who did an endoscopy.  A few days later we were swimming in the community pool and his phone rang, it was 5pm and he was not expecting any work calls (he works from home) but he got out of the pool and answered it.. The Doctor told him he had esphagual cancer and he needed to see an oncologist right away.  So the next year was spent fighting for his life with agressive chemos and radiation.  And it worked, he went into remission for a year, but then it came back, hard.  So more chemo.  After the 5th PET scan the Doctors told us last week, there is nothing else they can do, Cancer is winning and he will hve 2-3 months to live, the cancer has spread to distant lymph nodes and the tumor in the esophagus has grown, and will continue to grow to block even water from going down.  He can not have surgery because he also has congestive heart failure.
So here is our problem.  I am also disabled, its a long story I will thry to make short, as a child I had Legg-Perthes in my left hip, I had to wear the leg brace like forest gump for a few years then crutches for a few more,  The pain was intense and has been my entire life.  But it made me a fighter.  I was a single mom of three kids, all grown and happy now and I have 4 Grandchildren from my oldest son.  But life was always difficult, I left a very abusive husband and I thought that was the hardest part of my life, having to hide from him with our children.  But I got past that, I got a good job at Intel and started from the bottom and worked my way up to a senior quality engineer.  However the hip pain was getting unbareable and I had it replaced, but dislocated the first day after surgery, but not detected until two week post op, a revision was schedule the next day.  For two weeks physical therphy came to my house working on me, I was screaming, it hurt so bad.. but they just kept at it, at the two week post op not ony did I dislocate but I cracked my pelvis.. for the next 6 months I was on bedrest, and lots of pain pills, I hardly remember that time in my life,  a year later I went to work part time and it was so difficult to get out of bed, I developed fibromyalgia, I also have colitis and emphasema ..I struggled with work for two years and finally agreed with my doctor to go out of permanent disability.  I had paid into the long term disability insurance with Heartford, so I was entitleed to 60% of my income plus whatever life insurance I was paying for.  Which I paid for both my husband and myself.. But here I am 3 years later still not getting paid.  I have a lawyer and we are fighting it, but it has been a real eyeopener they dont pay.. period, they send people to video you whenever you go outside,  The take things like picking up a box from the porch after UPS rang the bill at 3 in the afternoon, I was in my PJ's and they said I can work if I could do that.  
So lets get up to date, My husband has a few months, I have no income, if he goes out on disability we can not affort to pay the bills.  We already owe allot to the oncology doctors right now and we cant pay, he is nice about it and lets us make payments, but the one car we have has almost been reposssed twice.  
I am asking for money so we can pay off the bills so my husband does not have to stress about it, I want to pay for his funeral arrangements, and I would like to take him to hawaii where he grew up as his dad was stationed there from the navy.
He is what I am willing to do... pay you back, if I win my disability case (court date is december), or when I get my husbands life insurance I can pay you back.  i just want my husband to be comfortable and go on disability so work is not stressful anymore, he can focus on quality time with our family.  I dont know how this thing works but whatever you can send me now, I will send you back when I get money.  My husband is a good man, everyone that knows him, loves him, if you go to my facebook page you will see all of this is true and how much we love each other.  I dont really want to ask my friends for money, as most of them are it would be awkward.  I promise this is a loan not a handout.
thanks for reading this.  And if you can help thank you so much.


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Tammy Toler Finden 
Antioch, CA
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