The Situation

Welp, got myself into a pickle and I need a lawyer.

I can't share all the details publicly right now (I've been advised not to, tho it's a wild story, with an absolutely unhinged second act, and I am still waiting to see how it ends).

What I can say is: I have a housing situation that has gone fully sideways with a roommate who won't leave, and after many months of a bureaucratic hell that would make Kafka weep, I am at the final step of resolving it legally and permanently.

That final step costs €1,850.

Now, I chose a life of science and comedy, so I have always been poor. In hindsight this was a series of bad decisions, as clearly I should have gone into something socially redeemable and lucrative like trading NFTs . Nonetheless, I am in need of paying a lawyer to take this final step, so have turned to asking you, a wonderful group of intelligent sexy people I have met throughout my life, for money.

(Yes, I tried other options. No, feet pics and Only Fans will not work for me. Trust me.)

I will pay you back if you want.

Now, I am not asking for charity. I will happily pay you back. Even as soon as in 1-3 years when the science joke market rebounds.

I've done the math. Just 100 people giving about €20 gets me there.

That's it. Its not much, I promise. One nice dinner you didn't have. A bottle of wine. A starbucks order for two. The left side of the taco bell menu. A small amount for you would mean the world to me. If you can spare it and want to help, I will be genuinely, embarrassingly grateful. I'll also shamelessly perform the full story live for any donor who asks.

100% of funds go directly to the legal fees. I would not ask if I had any other option — and believe me, I have asked ChatGPT (it suggested bold text —and— em dashes. Lots of them.)

So, I am trying...