It started in September. I thought I had a simple sprained ankle, so I took the steps to let it heal. Then the pain traveled to my other ankle. Then eventually to my knees, my back, my wrists, and my hands. Initially my doctor was dismissive about what was going on, until I told how her how hard it was to just get myself out of bed every day. A request was finally sent to the rheumatology clinic. While there I was lucky to meet and work with a doctor who was understanding and believed what I was going through. He examined me, ordered blood work to be done. The outcome was that I have some form of arthritis. Something within the realm of rheumatoid arthritis or spondyloarthritis.

The plan after the first visit was to put me on a steroid to help give me back some functionality until he could come up with a possible diagnosis. The medication prescribed seemed to help initially, but never brought me back to any sense of physical normalcy. Once he narrowed down what my diagnosis was, he prescribed me a medication called Humira. It’s a self-injectable medication meant to treat people with my condition. I’ve been on it for a month and things have yet to improve, in fact they’ve gotten worse. I don’t believe the new medication has exasperated my condition it just hasn’t begun to correct it yet. I’ve been told it can take up to three months for Humira to take its full affect. Unfortunately, I’m stuck waiting to get my life and physicality back.

I’ve been unable to work since November. I struggled through a couple of months from September to November but was forced to call out very often because of my pain and immobility. So, I’ve been placed on disability, but that barely covers a fraction of my rent. Let alone my bills and need to call cars to get to and from my doctor’s appointments.

I wake up everyday wondering what my mobility will be. Will I be in so much pain that I need crutches to get around my apartment or will I be able to at least stand on my own and make it upstairs to my bathroom to brush my teeth and get myself ready. Everyday is a gamble I most often lose. I don’t know if the pain in my legs will wake me up, or if my back may spasm when I need to roll over, or if my hands will be too weak to pull my pillow or comforter to my desired position.

I’m living a life of extreme uncertainty. No day is the same. No singular method has worked, even temporarily. I’m trying so fucking hard to believe that I’ll get back to a sense of normalcy. But this fight is daunting.

There’s no other way to say it… I need help. It’s difficult for me to ask, but I’ve reached my end point as far as being able to manage without help from my community or friends. I still have at least two months before the Humira medication may take effect, and while I’m trying my hardest to stay positive, I’m slowly running out of energy to keep my hopes up.

I’ve truly tried to immerse myself within our community. I’ve supported fundraisers for the Ducal and Imperial Councils, I’ve run for drags shows, I’ve shown up and helped when I can because this community means so much to me.

I know the pandemic has hit all of us hard, and I’ve tried to do what I can with what we as a community are able to do to keep our fire burning bright with support. So I’m asking you to help me stay on my feet by donating to help me pay rent and bills for a short time until I’m able to literally get back on my feet.

I ask if you think you might be able to help me, please donate to my GoFundMe. I miss you all so much and want to jump back into the mess, the glitter, the glam, and the heart of supporting our community.

Thank you. Thank you for taking the time to read my request and thank you for giving me the honor of being a part of something bigger than all of us.