You can call me Shomorai. This fundraiser is extremely important, as it is the last ditch effort for me. I never ever wanted to ask of others to lighten my burden, but left with no other options I have to swallow my pride and reach out for help.

Working countless hours to try and settle my family before health complications began creeping up on us. A heart attack in the US put us back significantly. Seeing as it was impossible to afford care, I made a decision to use what life savings I had to return to Canada where health coverage was suitable.

I've spent the majority of my time since returning, visiting the hospital, trying my best to keep my composure as my mom continued to fight. Then triple bypass surgery. Then problems with her kidney. The writing was on the wall in my head but I still chose to believe. To keep faith. To stay strong.

In the end... she knew what I knew. It was only a matter of time. I dont fully know how she felt because you dont discuss how you feel about dying. You discuss how you feel about trying to live comfortably.

She wasn't in pain before she passed. I stared her in the eyes and held her as doctors and nurses rushed around me trying to stabilize her. She was here one second and the next... gone.

I broke down. Im still broken.

I dont know how long it will take to heal. To overcome. To run through the same questions in my head endlessly, dipping in and out of sorrow and doubt, shame and humility, strength and courage. Everything all at once.

I don't know much. But I do know that she deserves a peaceful grave next to my grandmother. But I cannot do it alone. At least not right now.

I gave up everything, my job, life, years, residency living and working in the US, giving up my life savings to try and preserve the life of the one gentle soul that gave me life.

I failed. But maybe in the future I can help someone else. But right now, I ask for help in this moment, the lowest point in my life.

Please.