Hi my name is Roselyn Abreu Perez but i like to be known as rosita, I am a disabled artist, i have been chronically ill majority of my life due to long term effects of an eating disorder i developed at 13 and was diagnosed late with my blood cancer, lgl t-cell leukemia, was not taken seriously at all by my health professionals about this because i am female and very young despite multiple positive results. T cell lgl leukemia is a rare blood cancer that makes you completely disabled and makes daily living harder as time goes by physically and it causes you to have extreme rheumatoid arthritis and chronic pain, the blood cancer is deadly and dangerous, usually gets more worse through time and if untreated or medically supervised it causes death, the life span of someone with this cancer if untreated is 9 years, as for me so far since being diagnosed late it's already been 2 years that i have had my blood cancer, going on to 3 years if I make it to January. Rheumatoid arthritis is also an autoimmune disease I have and struggle with, it causes fatigue and tiredness, Unexplained loss of weight, inflammation, depression, and specific issues like carpal tunnel, RA can also cause systemic effects like fever, impact eyes, lungs, heart, or even your skin.

I have severe long term terminal health issues from my extreme anorexia with arfid features that i developed during trauma and abuse throughout my life at a very young age, this caused me to have long term chronic physical problems such as like low blood sugar, body aches and seizures, heart attacks, syncope and weakened immune system, anemia and much more things that i can't even explain, i am in constant pain, i have been severely sick since 13 from my chronic illness and now suffer long term effects of it on top of two serious health issues so please for those who struggle with chronic illness, eating disorders autoimmune diseases or blood cancer seek help as soon as you can, this is not something you would like to experience or go through, being scared you may not wake up constantly, your body is in survival mode and in constant pain, so please help or try before it's late.

As a disabled adult I can't work now, I have been struggling with my expenses and having trouble with getting support financially and emotionally throughout my life and mostly now, I have been struggling with financial problems like getting food for myself and utilities due to not being able to work or do hard labor since i am so sick, which hurts me so much because i always had a dream to be an art therapist, i can't work full-time or find good jobs that would sustain me as most require physical strength and health which I do not have

A little background about me is that I use to caretake of my disabled grandfather who has severe dementia Alzheimer's disease for a long time, but now due to my health and other personal things i can't caretake of him but i would help my abuela, my grandmother caretake of us both, i try to help despite it all but she knows that i am sick and can't do the physical functions necessary to caretake 100 percent. Currently i am being taken care of by a hospice team at home in new york state and on pain control medications everyday to help ease my extreme pain.

I have always been struggling with being able to get Daily living needs etc., this has been one of my biggest issues for a long time and its always been very stressful, not being able to physically work has made me feel hopeless and unworthy, so much negative thoughts everyday about not being able to be independent. I have struggled with also severe depression since 13, it has gotten worse through time due to stress, trauma, physical and mental, it impacts my sleep, overall body and mindset, it is something that is always there, i try to be very happy as i am always trying to be positive for others but those who have deppression understand that it's hard, #urnotalone.

i hope this story reaches someone or atleast someone sees my pain, daily severe struggles and they see how much some help or support would mean to me and those who caretake of me and love me, we never ask for anything just love but if willing to help we are very thankful, I do not force anything or any help if it's not genuine or from the heart, that's not who I am but any support is always amazing and appreciated.

Another fact is that I have been hospitalized multiple times since i was 14 and my struggles every year keep getting worser but my love for the arts gets stronger, each day! I have been drawing and doing art ever since i can remember.

I do Customs and art for people to show my love and admiration for the beautiful support, it makes me happy that i may bring peace and comfort to or for them , we joke around on my tiktok and say i was born with a pencil.

I am losing hope of life every single day but try to fight through despite my physical pains and mental hurt.

My grandmother, abuela, says that it is a miracle i am still here which is true but so weird to comprehend, she thanks god im still here she tells me, your still here for a reason, she says and whatever time i have left to always try to be me and live, Those who are close to me know that nobody is able to say i survived three heart rates of 5 to 10 or have been close to deaths door many times, being the first time at the age of 14.

I am a survivor of SA, i was 11 or 12 the first time, my childhood trauma, physical and emotional abuse throughout my childhood and adolescence is something i am trying to cope from as many things happened and some still haunt me to this day.

I am Rosita, a disabled artist,

Childhood and SA Survivor, nature and animal lover and poet.

Bless you all angels, any support and help is a blessing, i hope this reaches people and they see my pain and fight, look deep into my eyes or soul and see my severe pain, remember you are never alone, love you all, los amo

los amo, always