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Trying to Heal After a Hard 5 Years

I’m creating this GoFundMe because I’ve finally reached my breaking point after being in a toxic relationship with my child’s father for the past 5 years.

We reconnected in 2021, a few months before I graduated college and around the time I lost my mom. Emotionally, I was worn out, and reconnecting with him felt like a break. He was charming at first, full of promises, and honestly, it felt exciting and new. I was able to numb some of the emotional pain just to function. Less than a year later, we had our daughter, Lo’Niyah, and she’s been the biggest blessing through all of this. She brought true love and fresh energy into our lives, and I’m so grateful for her.

But life really does flip on you when you least expect it. A few months after giving birth in March of 2022, I was diagnosed with epilepsy. And to this day, no one really knows why. I’ve had over 20 seizures since then, and my doctor said stress, lack of sleep, and overworking myself are some of my triggers.

And if I’m being honest, most of my stress has come from the relationship and how his family treated me. For 5 years, I’ve dealt with nothing but disrespect and disregard from him and his side of the family. They’ve talked down on my looks, picked apart my beliefs, made things up just to feel better about themselves, and overall just acted like they couldn’t stand me. Meanwhile, I’m old-school — I’ve never disrespected his parents or anyone in his family. I’ve always believed in trying to talk things out honestly, but every time I brought things up, he’d either gaslight me or brush it off. He’d say I was too sensitive or tell me to just talk to them and move on. But how do you keep talking to people who don’t care if they’re hurting you?

Everyone involved — from their late 20s up to their late 40s — grown enough to know better. But the behavior never changed. I stuck around hoping things would get better, hoping the love we had and our little family would be enough. But it wasn’t.

In February of 2025, we were homeless. I was still trying to keep things together, and once we finally got a place, I ended up in the hospital after having 4 seizures in one day — 4 days before Lo’Niyah’s birthday. I was physically and emotionally exhausted.

Then on our daughter’s birthday, his sister came and stirred up unnecessary drama. I just wanted peace that day, but even that wasn’t respected. After that, I told him I didn’t want her back in our home, and he told me flat out, “I’ll never choose you over my family.” That was it for me. His family had already burned bridges with mine and never cared enough to understand why we were hurt. He had even stopped checking in or caring about anything involving my family, but expected me to show up every time something happened with his.

So I packed up me and my daughter and left. My auntie helped us get back to Arkansas. I had moved to Georgia for him and his job, even though we both originally said we didn’t want to live there. We had dreams of moving to Arizona — my family was even on board. But I sacrificed so much for him, for a relationship that never truly showed me the same energy.

I’m not sharing this for pity. I’m sharing it because I need support. I’m trying to rebuild my life for me and my daughter. I’ve been through emotional abuse, health scares, homelessness, and constant disrespect. I’m choosing peace this time. I’m choosing healing. I’m choosing to put Lo’Niyah and myself first.

If you can support us through this GoFundMe — whether it’s financially, by sharing, or just sending encouragement — I would truly appreciate it from the bottom of my heart.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

-Lyric Louden