
Donate to help me save Corey's life
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I have thought long and hard about building a GoFundMe page for my son. This is very difficult but I am trying to save my son’s life. It’s my last option now. I hope you take the time to read through all this. It’s a lot. I’m also including a letter written by his psychologist that explains even more or maybe clarifies this better than I could. I’m also adding Corey’s latest Facebook post. It’s important. The goal is to be able to send Corey down south someplace warm for the winter so he can get through the worst of it. The warmer weather, longer daylight hours, and independence all help him more than you can know.
Corey was originally diagnosed with ADHD in early childhood, the beginning of 1st grade. He was put on Ritalin which did help him to focus and concentrate better. He was great with numbers but couldn’t read. He started as the lowest reader in the lowest reading group. The Dr. put him on Ritalin in October and by the end of the 1st term before winter break, he was the top reader in the class. I asked him at the time how he felt and he said “I can think Mom!” I will never forget those words. He’s very intelligent but had difficulty making and keeping friends. He often butted heads with teachers when they made a mistake and he corrected them. He had difficulty looking people in the eyes and even on medication, was still hyperactive and disruptive in classes. He was often sent to the Assertive Discipline room where he got along wonderfully with the teacher in there and showed remorse for his outbursts in class. At the end of Third Grade he tested 100% on the Third Grade State Exams, the Fourth Grade exams, the Fifth Grade exams, and the Sixth Grade exams, and they didn’t believe a student had actually taken the tests because the results were off the charts. They refused to allow him to advance grades despite being ready for 10th grade by the end of 3rd grade. This greatly contributed to him losing his love of school and learning, and was a major part of why he was bored constantly from fourth grade onwards.
As his K – 12 education went forward, he had an IEP and 504 plan at school. In Jr. and Sr. high, he had permission from the school administration to just get up from whatever class he was in and go directly to the school counselor’s office where he was allowed to sit, read, talk to the counselor or whatever he needed to feel he was in control of himself again. They were wonderful! He was often bullied in school. Once in 7th grade a boy in his home economics class for cooking, left the class early and waited for Corey in the hallway. When Corey came out of the classroom, this boy shoved Corey against the lockers and punched him. This boy considered Corey “weird” and just didn’t like him. After high school he went to Lake Superior College where he had a difficult time not because he wasn’t prepared for college, but because he was trying to teach himself how to control his ADHD without the assistance of medication. His grades improved to perfect 4.0s after he had done this. He then went to UMD and started in the engineering program but found it was not something he could enjoy and switched to Ancient Philosophy and Ancient History, which he has a passion for. When he finished, he graduated with double major, with a 4.0 in History and a 3.9 in Philosophy. He got along really well with the department head and even assisted him in setting up a YouTube channel for posting lectures.
Corey wasn’t diagnosed with Autism until he was in his late 20’s. He should have had that diagnosis from the beginning. He has spent his life dealing with extreme general anxiety, social anxiety, and depression with suicidal thoughts. If he’d had the proper diagnosis earlier in his life, maybe things would have been easier for him and he would have received the kind of help he should have had. He has in the past been able to do some part time menial jobs. Mostly those were where interaction with people was at a minimum. Since Covid started and his job driving a school bus was put on hiatus, he has not worked. He has looked for work but he becomes so stressed and anxious at the thought of working, he will fall into a deep depression. He was actually hired at McDonalds after a phone interview and then training, but on the second day, he sat in the car and had a full blown panic attack and was unable to even go in the door. He claimed it was because of how poorly the customers treated the staff. This led to another wave of extreme depression.
He’s posted many, many times on Facebook about his feelings of helplessness. His depression. His questioning of why he’s even here in this world. He has family that loves him yet he feels alone. These are the times his depression leads to thoughts of suicide. He cannot work a standard job. He needs help getting out and moving forward. If he can gain some independence, his depression should get better, and he believes he will be able to earn enough to live on through writing. But he needs help to get to that point. His application for student loan forgiveness due to his mental disability was approved. He’s in need of SSI so that he can finally move forward and begin to feel some independence and maybe lessen his anxiety and depression. But at this time, he was denied his original application and just yesterday denied his 1st appeal. We will push forward with another appeal, this time consulting a lawyer. Praying and hoping it will go through. But this next step can take up to 18 months. He won’t survive that long.
Corey has been seen by both psychiatrists and psychologists since early childhood. He has tried many medications for ADD, ADHD, anxiety and depression and although Ritalin did help throughout his childhood, as he passed through puberty, it no longer seemed to have any effect. He even tried TMS – transcranial magnetic stimulation, with no effect and a lot of pain. He has now been diagnosed as medication resistant, and also suffers from SAD (Seasonal affective disorder).
I am asking that you please consider helping in any way you can. This was not an easy decision for me to ask for help. Being denied when he so terribly needs this help adds to his issues and makes everything even more difficult. His very life is at stake here. So very often we hear people say “If only I’d known he was so depressed”, “I didn’t know”, “I would have helped if I’d known”. Now you know. It’s not too late. He needs help to get out of northern MN for the winter. The cold and dark deepens his depression. He can’t get out to go for long walks and run and get fresh air. The gloomy skies and lack of sunlight just add to the problems. He needs to get away for a few months and I don’t have the resources to help him. I’m hoping that people will see this and help. Any little bit will help. With enough, we can send him south for a few months and give him a chance to recuperate and feel independent.
Thank you,
Lori
The following letter is from Corey's psychologist -
November 1, 2023
Dear Corey’s Family and Loved Ones:
I am a licensed clinical psychologist at St. Luke’s Outpatient Mental Health Clinic in Duluth, MN. I have had the pleasure of working with and getting to know Corey since 11/21/2019. During this time, he has been suffering with Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Severe Dysthymia, and Autism Spectrum Disorder. The hope with this letter is to help educate you all regarding the severity of his mental health issues.
Corey’s depression is severe and limits the daily activities he can engage in. He cannot simply “push through it,” “take a pill,” “get over it,” or ignore its impact. As a result of his severe mental health concerns, Corey has been unable to work gainful employment and relies entirely on his parents for emotional, financial, housing, and all other forms of support.
In the time that I have worked with Corey, he has attempted to work two different jobs; both of which he ultimately had to resign from as the mental health symptoms interfered with his ability to consistently perform the regularly scheduled duties. He has also experienced multiple episodes of suicidality that have required continuous supervision by his family. He feels very much alone in this fight and desperately wants his loved ones to understand the depths of his pain.
Corey has also tried several treatments for his depression that have not been successful: including multiple anti-depressant medications, trans-cranial magnetic stimulation (TMS), long-term psychotherapy, and other experimental treatments. Corey’s mental health concerns have been life-long and are only continuing to worsen in severity.
This also includes a significant worsening of his depressive symptoms during the fall and winter months, when it gets cold and he is decreasingly able to be outside and active. During this time, in order to survive, Corey has managed his symptoms by traveling to warmer climates. He needs to have this independence and time away in order to literally survive. This helps keep suicidality at bay and to lessen his symptoms of depression. Without this time of increased activity and mental stimulation, Corey becomes overwhelmed and withdraws further into himself.
In addition, because of the Autism, Corey has a difficult time interacting with others, making it extremely hard to navigate and live. He needs support and for everyone in his circle to come together to help him. Corey is an amazingly talented and gifted individual that struggles with severe and persistent depression. The world needs his creativity, and I would urge each of you reading this letter to truly listen to Corey. His pain is real, he’s not making this up or exaggerating his symptoms. He is living every day with these life-threatening conditions, and I hope you all can come together to help support him.
Sincerely,
(name removed for the therapist’s privacy)
Corey's most recent Facebook post -
Denied for SSI. Again.
They sent the application to the new doctor to review it, and the doctor denied it immediately. Couldn't have even properly read it over.
I'm literally suicidally depressed.
I'm officially diagnosed with autism.
Because of my autism, I wasn't able to get through interviews.
Because I wasn't able to get through interviews to get jobs, I couldn't build a work history.
Because I didn't have a work history, I couldn't even get interviews anymore at a certain point.
I also didn't get accepted to any of the grad programs I tried to get into, likely because of the autism and lack of connections and money--it sure as hell wasn't my grades (4.0 and 3.92 in a double major)! I even had the backing of the department heads.
Speaking of. Even with those grades, the backing of the department heads, coming from a poor family, and not being able to find employment, I also never once got a scholarship despite applying for every one I qualified for.
The only jobs I've had in my life were two summer jobs at 16 and 17, and then nothing until I was 27 despite sending out at least one application per day during that stretch of time. WITH the help of local employment agencies, including ones that specialized in helping people with disabilities.
The job I got at 27? Minimum wage, 12 hours per week, working in a grocery store. I held that job for 2 years.
Next job? School bus driver working 15-30 hours per week on a split shift for $16/hour.
But only during the school year. And only on days when kids actually had school. And I didn't get paid if there was a snow day or the kids were on vacation.
And then Covid hit. That job disappeared. And by the time it came back a year and a half later, I was suicidally depressed and wasn't safe to be driving a bus full of children.
My references from the grocery store and the bus company also all moved away, retired, died, or some combination of the three, so I no longer even had professional references at that point.
I couldn't find work. My employment gap once again grew. And now I'm at the point where even if I could FIND a job, I can no longer work at all, because I'm too depressed.
And they denied my SSI application AGAIN. Despite having two well-diagnosed conditions that are clearly included in the list of qualifying conditions.
If I can't get out of the dark and the cold of the North for at least a few months this winter, I don't think I'm going to make it to Spring.
If I can't find a way to gain some freedom and independence, and to appease my fernweh at least a little bit, I highly doubt I'm going to make it to 40, and that's assuming I find a way to make it through this winter.
And they denied my SSI application AGAIN. Despite my psychologist clearly telling them that I'm suicidally depressed and am desperately in need of monetary assistance. Despite my mother calling them and telling them the same. Despite me stating that as clearly as I possibly could in my application.
I know nobody takes depression and autism seriously until AFTER somebody commits suicide, but I'm asking everyone reading this to take me seriously on this matter. If anyone can help me get out of here to somewhere warm, and where I can be independent, for even just a few months, PLEASE, PLEASE help.
I don't want to die. I want to live my own life. Not being able to is why I'm so depressed.
I want to be able to write, and explore, and learn, and create. I want to be able to make the world a better place. But I'm 35, almost 36, and haven't even been able to step across the starting line yet.
Oh. And for the icing on the cake, I'm officially diagnosed as being treatment resistant. Drugs and other treatments don't work on me. Psychiatrists have tried enough medications on me to come to that conclusion, and even treatments such as TMS proved entirely ineffective.
I've even tried THC, which only helped for a few days before losing any and all effect. Which is what happens with every medication I try, if it even helps to begin with. It lasts for a few days, and then my body adjusts to it and neutralizes it.
Here are some pictures I wanted to upload of him:




Organizer

Lori Levine-Ford
Organizer
Duluth, MN