Hi, I’m Avis a trans, non binary, university student from London, and I’m fundraising to help me be able to afford top surgery. (CW talk of mental health) I genuinely have no idea where to start in terms of how to make this all happen because I don’t have the support of family financially emotionally etc, however what I do know I have is the support of my community and friends so I thought I’d at least start somewhere by getting the ball rolling.

I’ve wanted top surgery ever since I my boobs became a problem for me, and they have gone on to impact my mental health in severe ways. I can’t even count how many times I’ve cried whilst casually going about my day because I’ll see the photos and experiences of others with the procedure and feel the need and hopelessness within myself. My mental health has been impacted in terms of self care, self image, connection and intimacy. And has presented itself through self harm, suicidal ideation and isolation. Throughout the years I’ve tried to mitigate my struggles through trans tape and practicing self love which has helped but not fully. Specifically I am able to now take care of myself and I love to practice makeup periodically to channel my creativity. But most importantly I’ve been able to develop relationships with my community.

However despite all of this surgery is essential for me to live my truth in a body that’s my own because unfortunately for me no amount of makeup or fem presentation can change how I feel inside or ever make me feel myself and fulfilled. In addition no amount of trans tape or binder can ever make my chest flat and because this is an integral part of my transition and gender euphoria meeting this goal would mean everything, and more to me .

At this stage I’m very focused on moving forward, however I do at times think back to the start of my physical transition as a 11 year old and getting shouted at by two college students. They heckled ‘Is that a really ugly boy or a really weird looking girl?’ This is not a moment that I allow define me in any sense at this stage of my transition as a gender fluid person however the memory does inspire me to honour my younger self and make myself safe, happy secure and proud.

Any help is much appreciated thank you so much!

ps- if you don’t want to give me anything that’s fine it makes sense in that case please donate to a family in G@za they need your money more than me. Thank you.