My name is Chelsea Monzingo and after 22 years of struggling with a pretty severe eating disorder (ED) after some serious trauma as a teenager, I was at my lowest point at 57 lbs. I had enough and did not want to die, so I fought to get into a specialized medical treatment program in North Dakota and spent 4 long and painful months in the hospital. I can't even describe how hard it was and how much I had to fight and overcome to get to where I am today. After 4 months, some serious medical care and trauma work, and 55 lbs. later, I am so happy and thankful. I am so blessed to have had the support of my medical team to help me through. I had to basically climb my way out of the grave. I am in such a better place mentally and physically. I am back in school to finish my teaching degree and appreciate every single moment. I feel like a whole new me and am never going to let anyone take my power away from me or my self-worth just to make themselves feel better. No more kicking me while I'm down. I held on and am still fighting and won't give up. I have come so far and want to live the life I deserve. I am trying to love myself and give myself some grace. God has a purpose for me and when I couldn't go on, he carried me through. I am a miracle, and I want anyone out there struggling with an ED to know that there is hope and to never lose faith. If I can do it, you can too! Keep holding on and fight. It is so worth it even if you are at the lowest point. Rise up and live your life. Never let anyone take your power away from you. Never let anyone make you feel so small and unworthy that you get to the point of where I was. Be grateful for every moment and never give up. Never let anyone keep you down.

This has nearly almost killed me numerous times. I had gotten to such a low point in my eating disorder that I weighed less than half my BMI and was barely hanging on by a thread. I decided that I really needed to commit to recovery and went into treatment and restored almost 55 lbs. and now I am at a healthy weight. It was the hardest and most horrible experience I could have ever imagined, and I am so thankful and proud of myself for doing it. I have come a long way. I unfortunately am still struggling with my eating disorder, but I have maintained my restored healthy weight. I have gotten to a healthy place weight-wise, but I have a lot more work to do to fight this terrible illness. I need to go back into treatment and continue to work on fighting this thing and to reach full recovery which is a hard thing to do but I know I can if given the chance and opportunity and support, I will be able to achieve this goal. I also have gastroparesis which basically causes my digestive system to not work properly due to the damage done over the past 22 years. It has been flaring up for the past few months and I have really been struggling and need to go back and work on getting back to a better place and some control of the gastroparesis.

The eating disorder treatment center is in Fargo, North Dakota at Sanford Hospital and it is a long way to travel from Missouri. It is quite expensive to travel and get there safely and to be prepared with everything that I will need while I am in treatment. Things such as hygiene products and necessary items that I will need to be able to continue my goals to recover. I also have to pay for medications and pretty much any little thing that I may need while up there. I will start at inpatient and then move to the Partial Hospitalization Program, and I will need to have somewhere to stay while continuing to work on recovery in the PHP program because housing is not provided by the program, so I will have to find somewhere to stay while I am in the program which will be for a few months. I found a place that I can rent for a month at a time, which is better than staying in a hotel because that would be more expensive, and it is not cheap either, but it is a better overall situation that is more tenable. The rent alone is $1,000 and then other amenities will need to be paid for such as electricity and other household expenses as well. I will also have to pay for transportation to and from the hospital and to anywhere I go while up there. I will also have to pay for groceries and other necessities I may need such as hygiene products, cleaning supplies, food, clothing, and anything else I might need. I also have to have a deposit and be able to pay for the cleaning that will need to be done when I leave. I will have to pay out of pocket for medications while up there because it is in a different state and my insurance covers in-state, here in Missouri, and since I will be in North Dakota, coverage will be different.

This seems like a lot, which it is, but when you think about what the ultimate cost would be if I don't get this opportunity, which would be death due to the seriousness of my condition when it is at its worst, then in the grand scheme of things, it is worth it. I am disabled and do not have sufficient income to be able to make all this happen and pay for everything that I have mentioned that I will need on my own. I am on my own for this.

I am asking for support and generosity in that I want to live and have a life worth living and not be on death's door every moment of every day. I am in school to teach elementary education and I have to start doing student teaching and my field experience. In order to do that, I need to be healthy enough to get to a place where I am not disabled and can commit fully physically and emotionally to starting my student teaching and getting closer to my goals of having my own classroom full of little ones to teach one day soon.

I also want to have a family and get married one day and be able to live the life I was meant for before my life got ransacked by trauma and this eating disorder and its complications. I am worthy and I deserve to be able to heal and have recovery so that I can serve my purpose and hopefully be an inspiration to others and be there for others just as I hope my friends and family will be here for me to help me through this journey. I love you all and pray that this will happen and that all is possible for He will carry me through.

Love and Light to you all. I thank you for your consideration and continued support.

Please share my story with anyone you know so that I can reach my goal and be able to make this opportunity work. I am truly grateful for you all and am excited to start this new chapter of my life.