Fighting for our family vs. Metastatic Breast Cancer

Hi, my name is Alison C. Feola-Mahar. I am 60 years old and the mother of 4 amazing children, aged 10 to 28.

5+ years ago, my wife Melinda was given her second and final diagnosis of cancer. What had been breast cancer in 2011 was now Metastatic Breast Cancer, also called stage IV breast cancer, which is breast cancer that has spread to another part of the body, most commonly the bones, lungs, brain, or liver.

When the MBC was discovered, she was riddled with tumors and had already lost a rib to MBC. The findings were so dire that she had to decide whether to fight, involving ongoing cancer treatment for the rest of her life, or resign herself to dying within a year. Melinda was diagnosed on our youngest son's first day of kindergarten.

If you know Melinda, it will be no surprise that she chose to fight. The grueling radiation treatments to protect her compromised spine nearly took her will to go on. Hoping for a year or two of a quality life with her family, she is now in year 6 and looking forward to meeting our first grandchild in May. There had been no progression of disease until late last year when her health began to decline. She will be starting a new course of treatment soon. The biggest obstacles are daily pain, fatigue, and side effects of the medication. Throughout the process of living with MBC, Melinda was blessed to have found a second family, Project Life, of which she is now the Director of Healing Circles, using her time, when able, to give back to others in the MBC community.

Project Life lists 5 types of wellness for people living with MBC: Physical, Emotional, Social, Spiritual, and Financial. In the past several years, our family has tried our best to navigate through all of these areas, focusing mostly on the physical and emotional well-being of Melinda and our children. At this point in our journey, Financial Wellness is our biggest foe. In cancer circles, it is referred to as financial toxicity, and at its worst, it deprives us of all the other 4 types of wellness.

So here we are. Our hope with this fundraiser is 2 things:

The first is that we be able to give Melinda and I the resources that are vital to our health but not covered by insurance, including co-pays for medications and treatments, dental care, and fees for non-traditional therapies that profoundly impact Melinda’s quality of life. These include Reiki, massage, and counseling. With both of us on disability and my need for 4 major surgeries in the past 5 years, our ability to work is seriously limited.

Second, and just as important, is saving the family home for our children and for Melinda's remaining years. We purchased this home for our family 6 months prior to Melinda's first diagnosis of cancer. Melinda lost her life insurance with her job. Expenses related to our home in Keene include monthly bills, fixing unsafe areas, a leaking bathroom, and finishing projects left undone by contractors. We are all losing a lot to cancer. We are hoping that it does not take our home too.

If we are successful with this fundraiser, I would also love to give Melinda a vacation with all of our children. We have not done anything like this as a family in 15 years.

Thank you for reading our story and considering a donation to our cause. This part of the process is the least enjoyable but also necessary at this time.

Sincerely,

Alison C. Feola-Mahar on behalf of:

Melinda S. Feola-Mahar

Michael D. Feola-Mahar

Jessica P. Feola-Mahar

B. Franklin Feola-Mahar

Brian M. Feola-Mahar

We would also like to take this opportunity to thank the Mahar and Feola-Roberto families, the Keene, NH community, The United Church of Christ in Keene, Southwest Community Services, ServiceLink, and members of the Symonds and Jonathan Daniels School families for their ongoing support over the past 12 years.

A special shout out to our friend and a beautiful soul, Linda Bevan, who has reminded us throughout this process that we are not alone.