Autism Teen Worked Hard With No Reward!! SAD!!
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Hello. My name is Tanya.
Let me take you back to the beginning of the store so you get the full picture. When I was 18 years old, I found myself pregnant with my son. Nine days after my 19th birthday I gave birth do my son on Jan 30th 2002. It was a complicated delivery. I had preeclampsia so during a routine Dr. visit they sent me straight over to the hospital for an induction. After 24 hours of being in labor my sons heart rate started to drop. I was not dilating so they rushed me in for a c-section. Let me introduce to you my son Nick.
I had to do it all alone as a single mother. Abortion was never an option for me. I could not bring myself to allow someone else to raise my son either. My amazing parents were by my side the entire time and helped me the best they could. Nicks biological father was in and out of his life for the first 4 years. After that for some reason it stopped. My husband now came into our life at the same time, so he has taken on the role of father to my son. 
When Nick was about 2 years old something seemed a little off with him. So, I brought it up to his Dr. They diagnosed him with ADHD. No problem is what I thought. We can work with this. After Nick started 2nd grade the teachers told me that he was not learning like other kids his age. They said he might have autism. So, we had a specialist test him for Autism. We were told that he was grow out of it by the time he went to middle school. So, we always thought it would happen. At around age 6 we found out that someone I trusted very much from my family violated my son. We got him into counseling right away. He spent a few years with him working out everything. The councilor then said he was cleared to stop going. So, we stopped. For the next several years we dealt with ADHD, Autism, Behavioral issues, Learning disabilities and so on. With all the issues we were dealing with I could not work. We had daily calls from school regarding his behavior and had many on the spot meetings. So, my husband was the only bread winner in the house. We made it work. We tried different activities with Nick, but he would lose interest pretty quick. When he started middle school, he needed a music credit and he hated signing, so he opted to try band. He chose the clarinet. 
After half the year was over, he wanted to transition to the bass clarinet. The band teacher said that no one can test out till the end of the year. A few months later, the teacher let him transition. After a year of playing the bass clarinet he once again tested out to the Contra Alto Bass Clarinet.
Not only has he stuck with band which is a miracle, but he made strides. With band in his life he made progress with his autism. When he got to high school he wanted to keep going with band. He started his 9th grade year playing the Contra Alto Bass Clarinet. His 9th grade year was very bad for him. His learning disabilities was flaring up as well as his behavioral issues. We started to get almost daily calls again. He was being disrespectful and causing issues in class. He was sent home on many occasions. During this time, I was able to find out what was going on with my son. He was extremely upset over the fact that his biological father was not around. After finding this out I got a call from his school a week or so later. They told me that he told some people at school that he attempted suicide and failed. At that point he was sent to the hospital. When we got there the Dr.’s said it would be a good idea to get him into a facility. The only one that had openings was in a whole different state over 6 hrs. drive from us. We had him go. They changed his meds and found out that he was very depressed, so they added a depression medication. After that hospital stay, he was sent to an outpatient facility that would help him to understand what he was feeling and how to deal with them while dealing with his autism. He spent a few months there. When he was done, he went back to his regular high school. We all had to work really hard together to keep him on track. His 10th grade year was really good. Almost no calls, passing grades and he seemed to be doing pretty good. Yes, there were days that it all fell apart but we picked up the pieces and moved forward. At the end of the 10th grade his band teacher emailed me and asked me if it would be ok for Nick to learn a new instrument. They were short a Tuba and he thought Nick could make a easy transition to the new instrument. I let them know that if they think it would be good for Nick and he wanted to he can do it. So, he did.
At the last concert of the year we were told that the band program was going to be taking a trip to Germany and Austria during spring break of 2019. This is where it gets interesting. The cost for the trip was $3,100. Which is super cheap if you think about it. That is a coach bus to Chicago, air fair to Germany, hotel stay and almost every dinner paid for.
So, I signed him up. He was given the chance to raise money to help pay for the trip thought out the year. He sold peaches in the summer which was a good turnout. He then was told he can sell chocolate bars. The box of chocolate bars was $60, and he would get $30 for each box sold.
Myself, my husband, and my mothers sold chocolate bars like our life depended on it. We believed that he has worked very hard with the band program even earning his letter jacket in band. We knew that with his disabilities he may never go on trips of his own. We were able to raise 75% of the money he needed for the trip. Nick is now in his 11th grade and has been working hard still. His grades are A’s, B’s and C’s. We went into his recent IEP meeting thinking things we ok and left very shocked and a bit confused. We had a feeling that Nick might not leave home till he was much older maybe in his 30’s. He knows nothing about living on his own or taking care of himself. We knew we would have to make some hard choices going forward. When we went into his IEP meeting we were told that he would be participating in a 2-year program after he graduates to teach him life skills. They also wanted us to take his guardianship away from him, so we would make the choices for him when he is an adult till he is clearly ready to have his rights back. We were also told that for the Germany trip there would not be a nurse, or a para provided for him. Which would leave him on his own during this trip. They recommended that we cancel the trip because he should not be there alone. I brought up the fact that it is a school trip and they should be providing this for my child. They just told me they won’t. I brought this up to his Dr. he said to contact the tour company to let them know the situation and that I am CPR and First Aid certified and that they should at least let me go for half price. They refused telling me to contact the school district.
I have contacted the school district and they have also refused to allow me to go for free or reduced fee. We only have one income. We also have a 9-year-old daughter who is highly active in softball. Her softball camps are starting right now also.
I have been trying to figure out a way for my son to go on his trip. He has worked hard and should not be excluded because he needs para. This trip is literally a once in a lifetime trip for him. The school and the district were so quick to say that he can’t go if a parent does not go with him and they were not going to help with the cost. So now I have to pay for my daughter’s softball stuff, and the rest of his trip, passports, and now my own trip. All with one income and not much left over after bills. So, I am asking for a little help paying for my portion of the trip. He deserves this. It is way to easy for people to limit others with disabilities. The final payment of the full amount is due in Feb. Please help make this dream come true for my son. If you can’t donate, please share. Thank you so much for your help.
I had to do it all alone as a single mother. Abortion was never an option for me. I could not bring myself to allow someone else to raise my son either. My amazing parents were by my side the entire time and helped me the best they could. Nicks biological father was in and out of his life for the first 4 years. After that for some reason it stopped. My husband now came into our life at the same time, so he has taken on the role of father to my son. When Nick was about 2 years old something seemed a little off with him. So, I brought it up to his Dr. They diagnosed him with ADHD. No problem is what I thought. We can work with this. After Nick started 2nd grade the teachers told me that he was not learning like other kids his age. They said he might have autism. So, we had a specialist test him for Autism. We were told that he was grow out of it by the time he went to middle school. So, we always thought it would happen. At around age 6 we found out that someone I trusted very much from my family violated my son. We got him into counseling right away. He spent a few years with him working out everything. The councilor then said he was cleared to stop going. So, we stopped. For the next several years we dealt with ADHD, Autism, Behavioral issues, Learning disabilities and so on. With all the issues we were dealing with I could not work. We had daily calls from school regarding his behavior and had many on the spot meetings. So, my husband was the only bread winner in the house. We made it work. We tried different activities with Nick, but he would lose interest pretty quick. When he started middle school, he needed a music credit and he hated signing, so he opted to try band. He chose the clarinet. After half the year was over, he wanted to transition to the bass clarinet. The band teacher said that no one can test out till the end of the year. A few months later, the teacher let him transition. After a year of playing the bass clarinet he once again tested out to the Contra Alto Bass Clarinet.Not only has he stuck with band which is a miracle, but he made strides. With band in his life he made progress with his autism. When he got to high school he wanted to keep going with band. He started his 9th grade year playing the Contra Alto Bass Clarinet. His 9th grade year was very bad for him. His learning disabilities was flaring up as well as his behavioral issues. We started to get almost daily calls again. He was being disrespectful and causing issues in class. He was sent home on many occasions. During this time, I was able to find out what was going on with my son. He was extremely upset over the fact that his biological father was not around. After finding this out I got a call from his school a week or so later. They told me that he told some people at school that he attempted suicide and failed. At that point he was sent to the hospital. When we got there the Dr.’s said it would be a good idea to get him into a facility. The only one that had openings was in a whole different state over 6 hrs. drive from us. We had him go. They changed his meds and found out that he was very depressed, so they added a depression medication. After that hospital stay, he was sent to an outpatient facility that would help him to understand what he was feeling and how to deal with them while dealing with his autism. He spent a few months there. When he was done, he went back to his regular high school. We all had to work really hard together to keep him on track. His 10th grade year was really good. Almost no calls, passing grades and he seemed to be doing pretty good. Yes, there were days that it all fell apart but we picked up the pieces and moved forward. At the end of the 10th grade his band teacher emailed me and asked me if it would be ok for Nick to learn a new instrument. They were short a Tuba and he thought Nick could make a easy transition to the new instrument. I let them know that if they think it would be good for Nick and he wanted to he can do it. So, he did.At the last concert of the year we were told that the band program was going to be taking a trip to Germany and Austria during spring break of 2019. This is where it gets interesting. The cost for the trip was $3,100. Which is super cheap if you think about it. That is a coach bus to Chicago, air fair to Germany, hotel stay and almost every dinner paid for.So, I signed him up. He was given the chance to raise money to help pay for the trip thought out the year. He sold peaches in the summer which was a good turnout. He then was told he can sell chocolate bars. The box of chocolate bars was $60, and he would get $30 for each box sold.Myself, my husband, and my mothers sold chocolate bars like our life depended on it. We believed that he has worked very hard with the band program even earning his letter jacket in band. We knew that with his disabilities he may never go on trips of his own. We were able to raise 75% of the money he needed for the trip. Nick is now in his 11th grade and has been working hard still. His grades are A’s, B’s and C’s. We went into his recent IEP meeting thinking things we ok and left very shocked and a bit confused. We had a feeling that Nick might not leave home till he was much older maybe in his 30’s. He knows nothing about living on his own or taking care of himself. We knew we would have to make some hard choices going forward. When we went into his IEP meeting we were told that he would be participating in a 2-year program after he graduates to teach him life skills. They also wanted us to take his guardianship away from him, so we would make the choices for him when he is an adult till he is clearly ready to have his rights back. We were also told that for the Germany trip there would not be a nurse, or a para provided for him. Which would leave him on his own during this trip. They recommended that we cancel the trip because he should not be there alone. I brought up the fact that it is a school trip and they should be providing this for my child. They just told me they won’t. I brought this up to his Dr. he said to contact the tour company to let them know the situation and that I am CPR and First Aid certified and that they should at least let me go for half price. They refused telling me to contact the school district.I have contacted the school district and they have also refused to allow me to go for free or reduced fee. We only have one income. We also have a 9-year-old daughter who is highly active in softball. Her softball camps are starting right now also.I have been trying to figure out a way for my son to go on his trip. He has worked hard and should not be excluded because he needs para. This trip is literally a once in a lifetime trip for him. The school and the district were so quick to say that he can’t go if a parent does not go with him and they were not going to help with the cost. So now I have to pay for my daughter’s softball stuff, and the rest of his trip, passports, and now my own trip. All with one income and not much left over after bills. So, I am asking for a little help paying for my portion of the trip. He deserves this. It is way to easy for people to limit others with disabilities. The final payment of the full amount is due in Feb. Please help make this dream come true for my son. If you can’t donate, please share. Thank you so much for your help.
Co-organizers (2)
Tanya Schwab
Organizer
Ramsey, MN
Richard Schwab
Co-organizer