My name is Rikki Beatrix, I’m a brain damaged teenage boy trying to escape DV. I want to cope with my brain injury that occurred from substance abuse at 17. I made this as a panicked emergency to leave my home life; and I’m updating this again after another event. There’s been history of patterned abuse that couldn’t be documented and left me helpless; but the day I made this was the day I dealt with the last straw and decided to take matters into my own hands.

I was being ganged up on by my family and berated for no reason because of an accusation. The butterfly effect made me almost kill my family in an enraged flight or fight reaction. I was slammed against the sink and was given death threats; along with the classical threat to throw me somewhere and forget about me. It’s not the first time this has happened, it also happened the first time I self harmed at 10 which is one of the most memorably awful times of my life. 

I’m also a CSA survivor and have trauma from borderline conversion therapy; not from my family but it’s apart of the problems I need to heal from outside of my home life. I need to use this for miscellaneous bills I wouldn’t be able to afford at once if I want to survive as quick as possible, soon. The money will go my bank account and Apple Pay, so rest assured even if it is self fulfilling it’s for a deeper purpose and not for anything shady