Hello my dear family, friends, and community,

 

Thank you for visiting my page, learning more about my GoFundMe, and for taking the time to read this. It will be on the long side, but I hope to fully describe what is happening. I have a difficult time asking for and accepting help - growth can be uncomfortable. I have urgent and unexplained medical issues and need accept help in all forms, now more than ever. It has taken me many days to muster the energy to write this for myriad reasons. I am fatigued in my bones, still wearing a heart monitor, and am looking to all of you for encouraging words and support. I am struggling to take care of my body and home each day, but am hopeful your help will sustain me during this period of uncertainty and challenge while I have no source of income, and await further testing and answers from the VA. 

My partner, Mari (a critical care nurse for 20+ years), has so kindly and compassionately stood beside me and helped in every way possible, including helping to set up this page. I am deeply grateful and humbled by Mari's love, support and altruism, but one person cannot do it all! I humbly look to you now. I will be the sole beneficiary of all funds raised. Donated funds will go directly to my rent, food, bills and medical expenses. 

 

Two weeks ago: I was brought into the VA Emergency Department, and was admitted for monitoring, and for them to rule out a STROKE. It feels especially scary, because a close family member had an ischemic stroke 13 months ago.

 

CT, MRI, Echo, EKG, ophthalmology, chest x-rays, labs, etc. Weeks later, I still have bruises and swelling from the heparin shots, and no answers. Doctors took videos of my eyes following their fingers, because of the bouncing and inability to properly track. Neurologists are creating an occupational therapy path for me due to my decreased strength, dexterity and mobility on my right side. Ophthalmology found no evidence of optic nerve damage and cannot explain my continued newly-impaired blurry vision. Not a single Dr. from any department I have received treatment from has answers. None.

 

 

 

Three weeks ago: I began to have new, incredibly painful headaches at my left temple, causing the vessels to bulge. I did not have much cause for concern until a week later.

 

I was sitting upright, talking to Mari two weeks ago and said, "I feel dizzy." That was the last coherent thought I would string together for the next few hours. I felt my vision becoming blurry, saw my hands and arms drained of all color. The feeling of extreme heaviness and loss of motor skills was substantial and immediate. Mari helped me to lay flat as my heart and breathing continued to slow. I could no longer feel my lungs expanding, despite trying to breathe, and could not feel my heart beating regularly. It grew darker, then I went blind in my right eye. At this point, I was pale with blue lips. After several hours, it was still incredibly difficult for me to gather a thought, try to form a word with my lips and make sound come out. It was all in slow motion and slurred. I was paralyzed on my right side, and was unable to wiggle my fingers/toes. I could not stand, or walk without the aid of Mari and a chair for several hours.

 

In the two weeks since, the fatigue and cognitive issues have been the scariest and most impactful to me. I am unable to complete my day-to-day chores without sitting often for breaks. I am dizzy a lot now, have daily headaches (at the new region of my left temple), squeezing pain in my chest, blurry vision, reduced strength/mobility/dexterity on my right side, and constant, debilitating fatigue. I am still wearing the heart monitor, and have logged 7 heart "events" since being discharged. What scares me most? The cognitive issues. I am having difficulty following conversations. I am not able to retain what was just said, and am having trouble finding the right words to plug in when speaking. It has taken me all day to compose this. It feels much more impactful than something like brain fog. I noticed immediately after being admitted to the hospital, my eyes lacked light and spark.

 

The photo in the blue shirt was taken 1.5 days before the medical event -the last photo taken of me beforehand. The photo in the knit hat was taken 6 days after.

 

 

 

I look at photos of myself and my eyes look dead. They look just like our dog's eyes after his cluster of seizures - robotic. Have you ever heard of someone aging a decade overnight after a traumatic event? I look at the photos of me days before and in the days following and I cry. I no longer look, or feel like myself.

 

At this time I have no diagnosis, but with Mari's help, I am trying to get more answers from the VA. I am trying to stay as positive and focused on healing as I can, but with mounting financial stress, it is hard to do. It feels like my entire house is on fire. I still have 5-6 more months of recovery for my left foot post-surgery. We are currently reshaping both of my footbeds with prosthetics. It is painful, as you can imagine, and adds another layer of complexity with additional PT involved. The fundraising goal may seem lofty to some, but sadly, any vet seeking healthcare for issues can tell you it takes months for things to move, no matter how big those issues are, especially during the pandemic. 

 

I have months ahead of me waiting for appointment times, occupational therapy, physical therapy, labs, and back to each department that treated me for further evaluation. I am looking forward to more body movement/exercise, growth, and healing. I cannot wait to get back to work! I was eyeballing bicycles at Goodwill shortly before all of this, and that bug to get outside on two wheels is ever-present. I know will get there.

 

If you know me, you know I can normally take a deep breath and launch into some long, involved shares! Hopefully you are still with me, reading along, and are able to send some healing love and energy my way. Thank you for taking the time to learn more, and for opening your hearts to me as I continue to move forward, albeit slowly, to get over these hurdles. I am not on Facebook, and shares on any and all social media platforms are greatly appreciated!

 

I am deeply humbled and grateful to each and every one of you. Please be patient with me - it is taking longer than normal for me to reply to texts and calls.

 

Thank you from the deepest place in my heart,

 

Andy

 

#DisabledVetAndySeeksHelp

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