Disabled Autistic Adult Seeking Emergency Relief From Abuse

Help Me Escape Abuse and Find Safety

Hi, my name is Collins Aniweta, and I’m reaching out because I’m in a truly desperate situation.

I am an autistic adult living with OCD, CPTSD, ADHD, severe anxiety, major depression, and chronic physical disabilities. I’m currently trapped in an extremely abusive home, and I’m being threatened with homelessness. I urgently need $3,000 to escape, find a safe place to live, and begin to rebuild my life in peace.

My story is difficult to tell, and many times, people have felt so emotional when hearing that they could no longer listen and distanced themselves. But I want to be honest because I know others have survived similar things, and I hope this will reach people who understand. I pray this resonates with those out there who have suffered.

The abuse began before I was born. My father attempted to cause a miscarriage while my mother was pregnant with me. After a few more violent attempts on my life when I was too young to even write, he left and never came back, leaving my mother to raise four children on her own (with no financial support). Unfortunately, she became severely abusive physically, mentally, and emotionally.

We were constantly harmed. One of my sisters even had her head split open with a high heel. We went to school with bruises more often than not. She called us “useless,” “mistakes,” and “things that shouldn’t exist.” She made us turn on each other, sabotaging any chance of safety or trust. I had to dig for food out of trash cans to have meals, she would abuse us if we ever gained weight, and forced us to never tell anyone this, or she would “take us out of this world”. I was the only autistic child, and the isolation, confusion, and suffering I experienced felt endless.

I’ve never been taught how to be a person. I was never shown love or how to care for myself. I live with night terrors, phantom screams that resemble her voice, fear of being targeted by authority figures, difficulty trusting loved ones, and I’ve had multiple suicidal episodes, including when I was just 12. I’ve had pets killed and thrown away by my mother, been invalidated, overworked despite physical disability (Arthritis in my spine, scoliosis, diabetes, asthma, arthritis in my hands, anemia, chronic fatigue, and blackout spells) that prevent me from even getting out of bed without severe pain that would debilitate even the most stalwart individual, and I even had my engagement destroyed by my mother.

I escaped once at 18, but due to a lack of resources and the betrayal of people I trusted, I ended up back here 11 years later. And things are worse now. In just a few months, I’ve been threatened with violence and death, told my support animal would be “thrown away”, denied help with basic needs (Taking me to doctor appointments, letting me take showers, heating food, going outside, and even sighing), and forced into physically harmful labor. I’m told every day that my disabilities are “fake.” She has never believed in mental illnesses, and doesn’t believe that boys/men are capable of being physically disabled (despite everyone else in my family having physical disabilities, even herself).

I have put tremendous effort into working to not only feed myself, but I put myself through education while everything was against me, and I managed through the abuse to graduate high school, and even after I left, I went on to try more education. The problem is that my disabilities caught up to me. The strain of pushing my body when I was younger, the physical demands of working, and the birth defects as a result of the attempt on my life as a fetus have led to me being bedridden. I lost the ability to drive, write, or walk more than 10 minutes, and I can’t sit down without feeling as if my spine is being crumpled up. This means I lost my car, my jobs (any job I got wouldn’t accommodate me), and any sense of freedom.

I don’t want to die. But I’m at the edge. I’ve struggled to ask for help because I was made to believe I didn’t deserve it. But now, I’m asking. Begging, even.

If you can give anything, even just a few dollars, it will go directly to housing, transportation, and survival needs. Your help will save my life.

An important note: I have looked up shelter resources since I came back, but no matter how many times I call, or when I call, they never pick up or get back to me. As well as many shelters where I live don’t seem to accommodate animals (My ESA is my life and is the only family I truly feel like I have).

Please help me feel what safety is like. Please help me get free.

Thank you so much for reading and caring. Every share, every donation, and every kind word matters.

With gratitude,

Collins Aniweta