My dear friends, I am writing this in an attempt to not only help my own well-being, but also to let you know what has been going on in my life. Last evening, for the second time in six months, Devin was admitted to the behavioral health crisis hospital for thoughts of/attempts at suicide.
Mental illness has gripped my child.
We have been struggling with issues for over a year now, and I have shared with some of you how her schoolwork has suffered, and how my beautiful, athletic, energetic, intelligent daughter has become a shell of her former self.
Withdrawing into the darkness that is slowly consuming her.
I am coming to you all, my tribe, the family that I have chosen, in my greatest need. As we have increasingly become aware, the mental health system in America sucks. Although I have the best insurance that I can afford through my employer, and we have been able to get her some help, but these critical hospitalizations and extended therapy are financially crippling. That, coupled with Dan’s multiple co-morbidities and inability to work (we’ve been denied disability twice, and receive no assistance) have left me in despair.
You all know me. I am stoic, stubborn, and at this point, struggling. I do not often ask for help, and these are difficult waters for me to navigate. I am currently working ~50+ hours a week overnights, and pick up whatever I can to supplement, but it is not enough. I know that there are so many other people out there who have a greater need, but I have to ask. I cannot hide and put on a facade any longer. I am raw and feel like a complete failure.
Please, if you’re able to assist me I will be forever grateful, and may Karma fill your buckets threefold.