This is how my story started in May 2015 I was diagnosed with stage T4 M0 Neuroendocrine Maxillary Sinus Carcinoma Cancer I was told I was the 77th case in the world since 1965 and the chance to cure me are minimal due to the type of cancer. It is lovely to be unique, but being in the 2% of cases that occur under the age of 35 isn’t exactly what I was aiming for being 27 years old! Rare is a word you would love to hear on any other occasion than when it comes to the type of cancer.
I was offered six cycles of high dose chemo-radiation treatment.
Chemotherapy felt like you’re swimming through treacle. You're always tired, but you can't sleep, you can't concentrate, your mouth hurts, your food tastes strange, you do not have an appetite, your whole body aches. Everyday duties are so much harder. And then there are the side effects that are plain weird, never-ending pins and needles in your feet; you feel weak, and you are always cold. Radiotherapy felt even worse. I lost my taste due to the severe burn of my mouth, and throat I was unable to eat for 27 days, and drinking water was challenging. They say nothing compares to the pain at giving birth well believe me it was ten times worse than labour pain. After having two allergic reactions to the chemotherapy, I have refused the remaining three cycles I completed the radiotherapy and left myself in Gods hands. Cancer has taken so much of me.
I was told at the beginning of the treatment that due to the treatment I might not have kids, but only two months after I have been told I am cancer free I got the news I am expecting and even though I was not ready and fully recovered I embrace that little miracle. The pregnancy was complicated and risky as much as it was a blessing and a great way to mentally recover from cancer treatment. For the last year and eight months, my son has been the biggest motivation in my life. He not only healed my wounds but he gave me hope and strength to live my life better, to dream again and appreciate every second of my life.
I thought I had a second chance in life until I got the crushing news the cancer was back and this time I was given 0% chance of survival. On 25th of April 2018, just 3 years after I have been diagnosed with Stage T4 M1 Neuroendocrine Carcinoma Bone Metastasis Cancer. Cancer has infected the right proximal femoral shaft, left medial acetabulum, right posterior iliac crest, and a deposit within the vertical body, in other words, hip, both upper legs, and lower spine. The doctor prognosis is from 6 to 9 months of life without treatment and up to a year with treatment but only if I do have a good response to it. I will quote the oncologist: "Cancer is too aggressive and advanced, and since it has spread, we cant cure it. All we can do is maintain the pain. I am sorry Ornela for being so blunt, but you need to be realistic and put your affairs in order, sort your will and who is going to take care of your child." Honestly, I felt numb. Being a single mother to a toddler in a foreign country with no family its hard but knowing that you might not be around your boy and see him grow breaks my heart every time I cuddle him, every time he smiles. I never thought that I would be 30 years 4 months old and have to write my own will and decide who to be the guardian of my little Luca. I keep waiting to wake up from this horrible nightmare.
I need it a couple of days to collect myself, and after a couple of days of research, I decided I am not giving up. I might be rare enough to be that 1% who survived. I want more than everything to see my son grow up, hear him say, mama, teach him to play basketball, teach him to draw, play the piano, take him to gigs, travel the world, see him fall in love, see him become a father and so much more. Truth is I desperately want to live. Knowing that I might die and he won't even remember me its the worst pain I have ever experienced.
So I started with alternative medicine to make my immune system and body stronger and prepare for the harsh chemo treatment that I am still not sure if I want to undergo. Currently, I am on an alkaline diet, having Hyperbaric Oxygen therapy sessions, energy healing, meditation, CBD oil and trying roughly about 47 other homoeopathic herbs, vitamins and remedies.
Meanwhile, while I am setting my warrior mindset, I have found and contacted The Hallwang Clinic in Germany who has reviewed my case and have returned my hope. They have given me this 1% chance of survival that I needed so much to keep fighting. The Hallwang Clinic is the only clinic that offers latest integrated medicine including immune therapy vaccines and antibody treatments which have helped so many people with the same life sentence.
However, the cost of the procedures and vaccines are far outweighed my family initial financial calculations.
The initial test, consultation and preparation will cost roughly about €30,000, this includes the accommodation and travel cost, and the treatments can cost between €80,000 to €120,000 depending on how I respond to them.
You never think that the thing that could save you could seem so far out of your reach.
My son, my little boy needs his mum.
Please donate what you can, this is s life-saving treatment for my family and me. Hopefully, with your support, I can beat the odds one more time. Help me live.
My GoFund me page is Ornella's Battle Cancer fund.
Or you can donate to IBAN: GB56 BUKB20701590286257, SWIFT BUKBGB22 Ornela Kotupanova
Please spread the campaign and pay it forward!
Love and gratitude Ornella (Panda)
EVERY PENNY RAISED FROM THIS CAMPAIGN GOES DIRECTLY TOWARDS ORNELAS HOMOEOPATHIC AND ALTERNATIVE TREATMENT AND MEDICAL TREATMENT AND TRAVEL COST IN GERMANY.
AUCTIONS CANNOT BE PAID THROUGH GO FUND ME; THIS IS PART OF THEIR TERMS AND CONDITIONS. THESE FUNDRAISING EVENTS HAVE TO BE DONE OUTSIDE GO FUND ME.
THANK YOU SO MUCH TO EVERY ONE FOR YOUR AMAZING SUPPORT. LOVE ORNELLA XXX
And lay with me
We’ll search the night for shooting stars
If they can’t take away
your pain I’ll take your hand, walk through the dark
Through the dark
And I'm sorry that I can't take your pain, or answer why
We’ll lay awake through darker skies
I say your name, you cast a light
You’re a flame on a starless night
And I didn’t know I was lost till you found me
Didn’t know I was locked here without keys
But we can walk across all these boundaries
You and me, nothing here to stop you, you're now free
So I wrote this to give you hope
For every good thing in life, you'll live to know
They say cancers survivors are gifted though
Let me know if that isn’t so"
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