Upheavals happen more often than we’d like. And sometimes, most often, when we’re unprepared.

It was a few days before Christmas; I was sleeping off the exhaustion of incoming holiday joy/stress. For some odd reason that morning, my consciousness wasn’t completely submerged by sleep. I could still hear the insistent prattle of our cat, and my Mom watching television in the living room. It was all very muffled, which brought about a sense of peace.

Then the basement door flew open, loudest over the dimmed noise.

“Mom!” My older brother yelled, in an up-tick pitch I haven’t heard from him in years. “I just dropped Dad off at the airport! He…He said he’s not coming back!”

And that was the hour I woke to a real nightmare.

Mom’s eyes were teary, my brothers were arguing, and I sat in a chair with a loud ring in the ears.

Father and Mom had been divorced for several years now, but they shared a house with us children in it. The court had long ruled that after the last child finished school, the house would be sold and the proceeds would be split.

However, Father left without warning, relocated to the Caribbean with his new family, all while keeping his name on the deed.

I tried to contact him consistently but he never picked up the phone.

We then reached out to others we know. My Mom contacted her friend in the Caribbean and relayed the message about how we were struggling to pay the bills. The house will likely be foreclosed.

Father replied that he doesn’t care, he’s not helping.

That was that. We have to serve him to sell the house, but we can’t, because he’s not here.

Father was also a hoarder. Father’s room still contained some of his clothes, plastic bags of paper, and tool boxes.

We had to scavenge through Father’s trash to find bills/the mortgage connected to the house. Who was the water bill company? Where was the electrical bill coming from? The home has insurance, doesn’t it; where is that one?

Father never paid a dime for his children’s education or child support, he only paid the bills. He used to boast to me that he did his role as a father by providing a roof over our heads. I witnessed him eat big meals while we starved.

(His ‘rare’ groceries were a bag of bread and a dozen eggs.)

No, Mom was the one who brought us to school every day, went to our musical concerts, brought groceries even when she couldn’t, and paid our medical co-pays. This put her in debt over the years, but she has always been making on-time payments.

Until now, with the added burden of the bills, mortgage, AND her debts + groceries.

She’s drowning, and while we’re contributing the best with what we can, it’s not enough.

We don’t want to lose our house, our childhood home. Especially not like this, to a malicious man who hated her more than he loved us (his children.)

Mom, or as friends know her, Miss Francis, is going to need a lawyer. She’s going to need greater support.

I want to help grant that to her, which is why I started this GoFundMe. As her child, I’m reaching out to those on the Internet in an effort to help pay off the remaining mortgage. Little by little, I aim to tackle little milestones toward the main goal of 30k.

Everything else can come later, right now, I want to focus on easing the burden on her. Little by little.

We’ve been under Father’s financially abusive thumb for far too long. Now that he’s gone just like that—It hurts.

At the same time, it’s freedom.

But freedom often comes at a certain cost, and we need all the help we can get.

I ask this of any generous soul who is willing to help us. We appreciate any and all support, be it sharing this GoFundMe or donation. I also ask, if you can, to continue sharing awareness of financial abuse in households, so more people can speak up about their experiences.

Thank you for reading our story, this snippet of hardship in our lives.