DeEdward's Soft Reset

Hi Everyone, I’ll try to keep this pretty short. Last May I finished law school and was prepping to take the Illinois State Bar in July. Shortly after graduation, I got a job offer with the Department of Labor’s EBSA division in Seattle, WA. The position doesn’t require the bar, just a JD. However, during my interview I still asked if I would be able to take the Illinois bar if offered a position because I had already paid for the exam and prep. I was told the department is very flexible with relocation dates since everything is mostly remote. This led me to believe that I would be able to start fully remote and relocate after I took the bar.

I didn’t have contact with my supervisor until a couple of weeks before my start date and my first interactions didn’t fill me with confidence about her capabilities. I checked with her to make sure I’d be able to start fully remote, like was discussed in my interview. She told me she didn’t think that would be possible because it’d require approval from higher ups, and I either needed to move to Seattle or have my start date pushed back until I could move there.

So, I, a very indebted and broke recent graduate, felt pressured into moving halfway across the country to start making money. I robbed Peter to pay Paul, exhausted all my resources, and went even further into debt to make the move. Once I started the job, I found out the department’s relocation policy really is flexible and I should have been able to start remotely, allowing me to take the Illinois Bar exam, as I had originally been told. Unfortunately, my supervisor was new to her position and is dedicated to making sure she looks good for her superiors, even at the expense of her employee’s well being. So much so that there is a collective grievance being initiated against her.

The last six months have been very hard. My mental health has always been pretty precarious, and having to deal with an unknowledgeable, extremely self centered boss, in a new city, far away from my family and friends, while working two jobs to stay afloat has taken me to my limits. I am drained and at the end of my rope. I’ve been through a lot in life, and I’m usually pretty good at recovering from misfortune, but, during those times, I’ve always had my support system close at hand to help me when I’m down. I know I’ll be okay again. But in order to get there I need to leave this place that’s left me feeling so desolate, and get back to my support system where I can rest, heal, and move forward on firmer footing.

My immediate goal is to leave Seattle and move back to Illinois. I’ve reduced my belongings down to the essentials, but it’s still fairly expensive to move halfway across the country. Once I get to Illinois, I’ll get a job, a place to stay, and then study for my short term goal of taking the Illinois Bar. After I take and pass the bar exam, I’ll once again be on a trajectory for self sufficiency and financial well being. I know I’ll be fine once I get to that point, I just need some extra help to get there. If you graciously decided to donate, your donation will be applied to my moving costs, Bar expenses, and bills as I make this transition. Even if you can’t donate, thanks for taking the time to read this.