Dead Eddie's last wishes

I didn't want to have to do this but here we go.  As many of you know I've had Crohn's Disease all of my life.  I had about 14 good years in the middle, but got sick again with Pancreatitis and Primary Sclerosing Cholangitis, a 100% fatal condition where the pancreas and liver are eaten away, and you die.  Only 10% of Crohn's patients get it, and I'm one of the lucky 10%.  Then I got Osteomyelitis and that's a death sentence so I was transferred from 5 doctors to 1 palliative care/hospice doctor.  This past Tuesday May 24 th I think, she told me there was no hope left, my time was up.  She wouldn't give me an amount of time left, but winked at me when I said six months.  But I've had Edema for two months, which I keep forgetting to tell her about.  Edema is when your cells break down and fall apart and the water part of them, bcs of gravity, go to your legs, making them elephantine huge and painful.  I've put on 15lbs of water weight from this, so I'm positive this will shorten my time left greatly, bcs whenever I've had Edema in the past, I've had Crohn's surgery to solve it.  But they won't to that this time.
I haven't been able to work in 10 years; my savings were gone in one year and it's been credit cards ever since: I owe about $35,000 for things you need to live like clothes, a little food, medicine and BLUE CROSS/BLUE SHIELD OF NJ insurance which before Obamacare had gone up to $1300 a month.  No fun, no trips, no contact with people bcs of my shame, just long, slow decline with many hospital stays and living with my mother.
I don't want to leave my mother and sister my huge debt, I'd like to be cremated, and if possible, I'd love to take a few days and go somewhere peaceful with great memories.  So I'm begging for your help ( that's how low I've gotten) with all of this.  If you can remember me as I was, and help me out, I'd be beyond grateful.  Thank you for being my friends, my family.  And enjoy wonderful, joyful lives.  

Love to you all,

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Edward Wilchins
Elizabeth, NJ

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