CANCER. Dale Family support unforseen expenses

Greetings and thank you so much for taking the time to consider our fundraiser.

On October 13th, Canadian Thanksgiving weekend, I called my mother to connect and see how the weekend was going as I live in B.C. and my parents live in Hamilton Ontario. She said the weekend was going well but that unfortunately, my dad was having a bit of a rough weekend. He had gotten nauseous and dizzy and had even vomited so they were thinking food poisoning although no one else had been sick so far all having eaten all the same food.

On Monday he seemed to be doing better. He already had a regular doctor's appointment arranged for Tuesday so they figured they would follow up with him on his condition. His doctor decided based on some of the symptoms it would be wise to follow up with an appointment at stroke prevention as they could be indicative of one and it was better safe than sorry.

So this was done and the following day I received a call from my mother saying they had done a CT and had found a mass in his brain. This was far from the news we were expecting but the good news was it appeared to be in an operable location and no cancer was mentioned. Albeit this was, of course, serious news I was comforted by the fact that it was deemed operable but taking into consideration the seriousness of such a procedure I told her I was booking a flight out immediately. I arrived 2 days later.

When we went up to Hamilton General to see him, he was looking and feeling pretty rough with slurred and weak speech and we were then informed they were going to do some follow-up scans. The next morning mom went up ahead early to the hospital. My brother and his wife had arrived the night before. When I woke up to the phone ringing and I answered mom's call, she immediately told me to get my brother and sit down, so I jumped up and I called him downstairs.

Sensing something heavy was coming we sat down on the couch together as our mother informed us that the scans and tests came back and they had found not one but three masses in his brain and that it was cancer. Then if that was not devastating enough, she continued by telling us they had also found it in both his lungs and possibly his hip, and that sadly, it was terminal, stage 4. A moment with my family none of us will ever forget. Ironically his hip had been the only thing in months past that showed any kind of symptom. Everything else came on suddenly that weekend. So my week or two intended visit became open-ended and I stayed 7 weeks thanks to some financial support from some very beautiful friends and family. 

My dad had just gone through losing his younger brother to cancer in Feb 2022 and it was understandably traumatizing. So his first reaction to his treatment options was having no interest in it because of what he would later describe as the boogeyman, the fear of the devastating effects from chemotherapy and how cancer can ravage the body as he had witnessed with his brother. His sister beat it three times so that gave him some optimism but initially, he told our mom he wanted doctor-assisted suicide and was not interested in treatment. We now know this as M.A.I.D. medical assistance in dying.

 Without treatment, his prognosis from the oncologists was anywhere from a few weeks to a few months of life. Fred Dale has never been one to complain about the myriad of medical challenges he had already faced. Now his priority became to just get whatever treatment that could get him back to a strong enough condition where he could have a living celebration of life to connect with all his friends and family and get the opportunity to say goodbye and share his love for everyone. 

Fortunately, after more tests and more information, we came to understand that radiation on his brain should in all probability, alleviate the main symptoms of extreme dizziness and slurred speech, and the hope was he could get to a place where he could reach his goal of his C.O.L. Then more insights from the doctors convinced him that chemo was not the boogyman he feared but rather a very viable option for a better quality of remaining life and also being reassured that the science behind chemo had come along way and he shouldn't expect the terrible sickness he didn't want anyone seeing him go through and he agreed to a treatment plan. 

 Within a couple of weeks, he was feeling better enough that they allowed him to come home. It was a very celebratory night with so many showing up to greet him home. A room on the main floor had been all set up for him and the next chapter of learning how to care for him and keep him comfortable had begun. Eventually, he was finally scheduled for his first consultation at Juravinksi Cancer center, a powerhouse of a medical facility in Canada let alone Ontario. Unfortunately, by the time the first appointment finally arrived and not yet having had any of the radiation treatments, his condition had deteriorated and activation of the 3PC program was required. So, Paramedics Providing Palliative Care who arrive with access to his files were called in to get him to the hospital. The 3PC program has been utilized several times since and we are so grateful for such an amazing system. They kept him in and he received his much-needed treatments and soon he was again allowed to come home. It's been a rocky road with many ups and downs since then and his life expectancy has been modified to kinda open-ended. Of course, we all hope for years but will accept whatever we get as a blessing compared to what we all thought we were facing in the early weeks.

I could write a novel about the whole experience as it continues but in short, he has subsequently been in and out of Juravinski with his current visit having him initially waiting in emergency for 2 days some of which was in the hallway. He has been since moved into a room and is being quarantined due to his recent bout with covid and then pneumonia.

The good news is, he is again back at home and his actual cancer has improved as the treatments have shrunk his tumors and it turns out, most of the rough spells have been caused by the medications. So the fight continues and the main reason for my setting up this fundraiser is because due to his previous medical conditions, he was never able to get proper insurance. They did everything they could over the years to prepare for such unforeseen crises with one private insurer that covers some things but far from all. Neither of them has ever been comfortable asking for help but were instead always the ones offering. So as my mother is now 74 and handling the majority of his care and doing such a phenominal job, their pensions are limited and I know it will give our ever-protective father, and my mother's husband the peace of mind knowing my mother will not be financially hurt from this and can continue to live in their beautiful home they developed together as a team over the last several decades. 

One of the most humbling and beautiful things about all this has been the immense outpouring of love and support both emotionally and physically from dropping off food, picking up needed items, and offering rides and company. The nice thing is although he never got the organized C.OL. he initially wanted, it has truly been an ongoing one for months now. 

There is still optimism that he can get enough mobility back to enjoy his home and remaining long life making more memories of joy with his famous laughter and down-home humour . We look forward to sharing more loving time with him and the abundance of his friends and family are also looking forward to more of Mr. Freddy Dale throughout the summer and beyond. 

In closing, it is imperative to him that everyone understands although he is out of his comfort zone with the idea of accepting help, he is willing to accept whatever assistance is required to make sure his wife of 50 years does not have to add potentially insurmountable financial challenges to this chapter in our family's life. 

So with the utmost gratitude I can offer from my heart, I thank you for taking the time to read this and consider the challenges my parents and our family are facing and we thank you so much for any, regardless of how small a donation, from the deepest parts of our souls.