Spiritual S.O.S.

For my 32nd birthday I am humbly asking for a rebirth. These last 3 years have been the most trying and testing times of my life. Especially this last year, my higher self has been sending out signal flares… a search beacon to receive a heavy dose of antibiotics for my soul.

Without going into detail regarding the physical, circumstantial and internal struggles that I’ve endured, I know only one doctor that can help me regain my power, my potential and purpose. That is myself… but I need intensive care. This is why I’m calling for sustained “Soulitude” in the mountains. It has been a trusted remedy for any ailment in my life. High in the snowy mountains, I can climb to a new altitude and a new attitude to see clearly, to unwind and breathe the fresh air of who I truly am. This is why I have come to Alaska.

My plan is to work until December and then germinate for 6 months of the winter. The winter and the dark calls me inward, the stillness of the snow whispers to the silence in myself. For me, the colder and farther north I am, the more conducive it is to cultivate this healing space.

This year has blind-sighted, rear-ended and totaled my finances harder than ever before. I am more in debt and more strapped for cash than at any other time in my life. And so if I left on this hermitage with no money I would come back and fall prey to the vultures of my unpaid bills.

This is a donation to my hero’s journey and rising to my fullest potential. It’s the same initiation in indigenous cultures where a young man would go out on a quest to find himself and the village would support him in prayer and offerings. In other cultures, the shaman would leave the tribe to find a vision for their community. Sacrifice, focus and hardship are some key ingredients to making a dream a reality. Right now this solo time is the only thing I need in order to activate the next sequel to my life.

I found a beautiful off-grid, rustic cabin at the base of the sacred Inuit mountain, Sleeping Lady in Alaska. It rests next to a creek with a wood-fired sauna nearby. Although I’ve been working while I’ve been in Alaska, it has just barely been enough to live on. I have been working at a much lower rate while doing a partial work exchange. This fund will cover some of my food and supplies as well as my minimum bills while I’m on retreat. It will be my oxygen supply so I will be able dive into the deep waters of my subconscious.

To me this retreat is like a spiritual residency and a higher education for my soul. In India the lay people donate to the temples and spiritual disciples. One reason is because it’s good karma but the other reason is because their spiritual pursuits energetically benefit everyone in the village. The spiritual seekers become the counselors and intuitive visionaries to see what’s coming and how to prepare.

My intentions while I’m there are simple: cleanse and rebuild. The first month I will spend morning till night in silent meditation. The second month will be devoted to prayer for myself, others and the earth. As the time unfolds, I will be fortifying my body with physical strength exercises, yoga and qigong. In the latter stages of the retreat, I will be working on my offerings to the world: writing a book about my philosophy of building, writing business proposals, designing buildings, creating art and crafts and composing music.

My main prayer going into this retreat, however, is to help pioneer an eco-village: a home that rests in harmony between earth and humanity. You might wonder, how does living alone create community? To me it all begins with the village inside myself. It begins with focused intention and prayer. Community starts with one person. It starts with one person at a time coming into a greater alignment with themselves. A great benefit of having sustained time alone is that I’m able to follow the strands of my insights and inspiration while I weave the threads of my becoming.

Why invest in me? Because investing in me is investing in what I can do in the future. Not just for my well-being, but for the well-being that I share with the world. Everything I do for myself is in devotion to a much greater dream. It includes showing up for people one-on-one, building homes for those in need, and bringing joy to others. But inside that is a greater vision. I hope to create a spring that quenches our basic human needs, a sanctuary where individuals can truly feel the support of community, a temple of deep healing and transformation, a village ruled by the commoners, and dictated by the soil. To me my wealth is everyone’s wealth.

I leap into this dark cave holding a prayer bundle of intention for everyone I have ever loved and who has ever loved me. I am a sacrifice for the invocation of humanity’s dreams. The goal of my descent is to find the treasure inside myself, so I can share the gold with my village. I am asking for you to support my work and believe in my vision. May my rebirth help rebirth a new earth.