Pride aside... reaching out!

I write this after sitting here watching, “Chasing Life.” I’ve learned a lot about myself contending with Multiple Sclerosis (MS). I learned that people can be intolerant about what they don’t know. I have had co-workers say I am faking because I walked with a cane one day but not the other. I’ve heard supervisors continuously say that they can’t do this, or they can’t do that in order to enable me to retain employment and keep working.

I met my husband 7 years ago, when I had full knowledge I had MS.  My sister was adamant that before I got too far in I needed to be upfront with this man; it wouldn’t be fair to let anyone get in too deep without knowing the entire story. I told him I had been diagnosed with MS for 7 years prior to us meeting. I have now been diagnosed for 15 years (although doctors thought I had it in 1993, in high school, when I lost vision in my right eye). Truthfully, I wanted to give him a chance not to date me if he didn’t want to. He stayed! We have now been married for 5 years and he brings me so much joy.

You see, long before I met my husband, my MS symptoms was so severe, it led me to temporarily using a wheelchair. Depending on the day, I could sometimes use a walker. Eventually, I wasn’t able to work, ended up the owner of a condo yet couldn’t get up the stairs. And stayed in the house a lot… alone! At one point, a friend’s mother came and cleaned my house top to bottom. Later, my friend asked her mom why she did it. Her mom answered, “Because if it were my child, I would want someone to do the same.” 

Once I was back on my feet, I went looking for employment again to support myself. Although I had been on SSI (permanent disability) while recuperating, I felt I had a responsibility to come off of it once I got back on my feet. If I knew then what I know now, I may have thought different. However, I wanted to be productive and honest instead of just “using the system.” Since I’m a little more familiar with MS now, I know that I was only just in remission.

Now that the MS has relapsed, I have to start back at square one all over again. I’ve applied for Social Security Disability and was told that it would take at least 5 months in order to receive my first check. Curious, I asked the representative if he could give me more insight as to how I can take care of things until I start receiving a check. He stated that he knows times will be hard and it will take a long time to receive a check, but there wasn’t really anything else that could assist in them in the meantime, with the exception of maybe calling 211 or applying for food stamps.

What am I to do now?!?! I’ve researched high and low for help and/or advice. All awhile, my recent medical bills have reached to a total of over $4,000 and I have run out of 3 of the 4 medications I am supposed to take. My car is my only transportation to get to my doctor appointments and MS therapy sessions. However, it is in danger of being repossessed. Graciously, the car company deferred my payments for 2 months. Unfortunately, those 2 months are now almost up and payment is due again for this month.

I'm overwhelmed and quite frankly, I feel like I am a distraction. My husband is forced to operate his work schedule around my schedule now. His weekly schedule now includes taking me to all of my doctors, speech therapy, occupational therapy, and physical therapy appointments. I know that all of this stopping and going is not the most conducive way to run a business. Seeing that I can’t drive, he is not only my caregiver but also my appointed chauffeur. This also limits his ability to properly conduct business.

I just need a way out of no way. The job’s insurance company denied me short term disability because I had MS and my employer of 5 years is not cooperating with the case manager who is working on the long term disability claim. I’d be more than happy to work if I could; however, I can’t be a reliable employee because of the unreliable symptoms of my progressive disease.

In short, I’m putting my pride aside, which is hard for me!

I know that God has a plan for me. I’ve learned so much from what the devil has meant for harm. I know God has His way of making good out of everything, no matter how bad it looks. However, I also know that it is going to be a 5 month wait for Social Security disability to kick in. I know everything happens for a reason. However, I have no choice but to put my pride aside and reach up for help. I want to thank you in advance for all of your prayers and donations.

Donations

  • Anitra Davis 
    • $35 (Offline)
    • 80 mos
  • Ed & Sybil Hyde and family 
    • $1,000 
    • 82 mos
  • Anonymous 
    • $100 
    • 82 mos
  • Anonymous 
    • $500 
    • 82 mos
  • Jennifer Miller 
    • $20 
    • 82 mos
See all

Organizer

Roxanne Postell 
Organizer
Hephzibah, GA
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