Bariatric surgery assistance

Hello Friendlies - My name is Philip Shores, though most people call me Phil by now (Don’t tell my mom, it makes her mad every time! ).

Some of you know me, many of you do not. The story I have today is one that many people in our American society share. I am 36 years old, and I am obese. Beyond morbidly-obese, I am “Super-Obese.” My body mass index (BMI) scales in at 55, where morbid obesity starts at 40.

My story is not one of a disease that afflicts me that I had no control over. I did not suffer an accident or an injury that couldn’t be prevented. What has happened to me, I have done to myself, through negligence and poor life choices when it came to the foods I consumed, and how much of them I consumed. Over the course of years, I have systematically failed myself time and again, increasing my own BMI one point at a time. Always I would tell myself, “after this meal,” or “after this holiday,” or “after this vacation,” or “after the new year,” always something that would allow me another meal, another snack. Coupled with the clinical depression that also afflicts my daily life, it was a double-whammy in which I have continuously lost all self control on a continuous basis to the point that it has led me to this point in my life.

Some would say that the karma has finally come to get me for my lack of self-care. Now I suffer from health-anxiety in which I fear that any given day, my life may simply end because of a heart attack or a stroke. Or the fact that I can look forward to a wasting death caused by hypertension, diabetes, and/or eventual heart disease. My obesity’s first downfall was obstructive sleep apnea diagnosed 5 years ago now. Thank goodness for CPAP technology to help prevent sleep-apnea induced health issues. The second downfall, more recently diagnosed, is stage-2 hypertension, in which I now need to take life-saving medication. Thank goodness, again, for medical science. And most recently, the final downfall is the diagnosis of pre-diabetes, where I am so close to being diabetic that the A1C tests show that I am 0.1 point away from being considered diabetic.

This isn’t a self-pity party that I am hosting for myself. It is a reflection of what is wrong in our society today. I am a representative of that demographic of obese people who share my story.

I don’t know how to explain what this lack of self-control feels like to someone who doesn’t suffer from it. So many healthier people believe that the majority of obese people eat simply because they don’t care about their health. Or they eat because that’s just who they are. But I can attest that the majority of those of us who suffer from this chronic, uncontrolled obesity got to this point due to a number of factors that has mostly to do with the way our brains are wired. And many of us have physiological tendencies that caused weight gain to be more prevalent within our bodies simply because of the way our genetics work.

For me and my story, I was around 17 years old when the depression began to tear its ugly head. At a younger age I was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome, which places me on the spectrum. By default, I was automatically cast out of the majority of anyone and everyone my age. This isn’t a bad thing, and it isn’t a sob-story. Since that time I have learned to embrace myself and my differences in the ways that I think and feel. But I was different, living in a world especially at that time that was not sympathetic to my different needs. Even at that time I did not know that I needed different approaches to education, friendships, and life in general. So feeling like I was on the outside so often looking in at a world that did not mesh with me caused a withdrawal, which in turn triggered a depression that was already latent within me.

As a child I was always thin and lithe and active. Often described by anyone who knew me then as a “hellion,” I was an uncontainable tornado of destructive and uncontrollable energy. But as I aged, and as I progressed in my life through high school, so terminally shy that any interaction with almost any of my peers was utterly terrifying (a common side effect of Asperger’s), I grew lonely, despondent, and as distant as the horizon. I had a few good friends, but it was not enough to fill the void that the depression left within me. My parents, as loving as they were/are, were also at a loss as to how to effectively assist me with my condition, try though they might. So, I turned to food.

Little by little I started to pack the pounds onto my 5’10, 120 pound frame. Before I knew it I left childhood and entered young adulthood and by 18 years old I was now 180lbs. Joining the adult workforce helped me in my social interactions, leaving the h forging high school demographic. But I still suffered from depression, and I still was learning how to live with Asperger’s. With help from real counselors, between 18 and 20 I finally began to master myself on the spectrum. And finally the world seemed to be moving away from considering anyone on the spectrum “retarded.” I was being taught to appreciate myself. And in my sessions I eventually learned how to appreciate and trust others. It has been a life-long learning process so far, and I continue to make this journey and walk this path.

However, the pounds kept rolling on. By 20, I was at 210lbs, and by 21, I was at 230lbs.

I skated by in my mid-20’s at status-quo, until an uncontrollable depression coupled with my place on the spectrum affected me so badly that I might call those years my “dead years,” because I was so distant and despondent, everything I did ended up being auto-pilot. By the time I reached 27 years old I was already 300lbs. I have not been under that weight since that time and it has almost been a decade.

At 31 years old, I had a sleep-test done in which it was found I stopped breathing for 1 minute or more at a time, 52 times in one night. I was provided a CPAP machine to use, and it felt life changing now that I no longer woke up exhausted every morning.

From 27 until now, I have effectively gained another 86 pounds, almost totaling to 400lbs today. At 5’10.

In this last year on Feb/Mar, I was suffering from headaches, and took a blood pressure test at home and found my blood pressure to be 190/100. I called the doctors office who pleaded with me to go to the emergency room. I was able to get into urgent care, due to the high cost associated with an emergency room visit, within an hour and within 2 hours had blood pressure meds. And thankfully since that time and several follow-up appointments I can confirm my blood pressure is manageable now.

In this last two months, I had my blood work done at a physical, and I was found to have pre-diabetes. The only solution to this problem, my PCP states, is to lose weight and effectively change my diet.

My PCP told me that she believes the only reason I am not already suffering far more ill side effects is because my diet is so well rounded. I eat, generally, good and decent wholesome food. Just VAST quantities of it. I don’t eat fast food in general, I avoid sweets and fatty salty snacks, I completely cut out all sugary beverages almost 10 years ago. I eat a diet that has relatively high amounts of fiber (lots of veggies) in addition to all of the fatty meats and starches I consume. Again, I just eat such vast quantities.

Some of you may ask, “why not just cut down on the portion sizes?” Those of you that understand my predicament, have likely suffered with overeating or eating disorders as I do. For those who don’t understand, imagine having a stomach the size of a plastic grocery bag. You can fit a lot of stuff in there. Now imagine that you don’t feel “satisfied” until your stomach is full. If you are a normal size, chances are your stomach is a normal size. So you feel satisfied when you fill that space. Imagine someone like me, trying to fill that space with food in order to be satisfied. But it is 3-5 times the size of your stomach. This was entirely caused by me over the course of literal YEARS expanding my stomach size literally by uncontrollably eating food until my stomach ached because it was stretched beyond its limits to accommodate the quantities of food I was feeding into it.

And now my foolhardiness has paid off by causing my stomach to have reconfigured to the size it is today. At this point in time, simply “stopping myself” from eating too much food is almost literal torture. If there are waffles for breakfast, most people might eat one. But I will eat three. If there is a steak for dinner, most people might eat one, or even just part of one. But I need to have 2+ in order to be satisfied. If there are burritos for dinner, most people have just one or part of one. I will have 2-4. All because my reconfigured physiology causes my brain to demand MORE and ENOUGH until I am satiated.

I cannot tell you the amount of shame I feel writing this story. Because of my own weakness, by own lack of ability to control myself…I make my own self feel lesser for it. And perhaps that is true - I am lesser.

But I need to do something. Recently as I lay in bed at the end of the day relaxing and resting, I look at my fitness-monitor and it shows my heart rate. 105bpm. WHILE RESTING. A normal, healthy person would be sitting pretty at 55-70bpm MAX. But my heart, even at rest, is laboring to pump blood through my vast body.

That is when I made the decision finally to face myself and ask for help by the way of a bariatric surgery to reduce the size of my stomach and finally once and for all kick start my weight loss. The last and final alternative, to finally try the most drastic approach that is available to me.

It is called a “Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy” procedure. In vertical sleeve gastrectomy (VSG), your stomach size is reduced to 15 percent of the original size to help you lose weight and feel full after eating smaller amounts of food. The surgeon removes 80 to 85 percent of your stomach. Then they use the remaining portion of your stomach to make a tube-shaped sleeve that goes from the esophagus to your small intestine. After the procedure, the size of your sleeve is only 15 to 20 percent of the original size of your stomach.

Here are the positives:

Advantages of the Gastric Sleeve Surgery

* Less risk of nutritional deficiencies compared to Roux-en-Y gastric bypass
 

* A good choice for patients with BMI over 50, and usually can be laparoscopic
 

* Can be safer if you normally take anti-inflammatory medications for other conditions
 

* Over 80% of type II diabetes cases are resolved
 

* Hypertension is improved or resolved in many patients
 

* A great deal of excess weight is lost rapidly, and patients experience resolution of comorbidities, and improved appearance
 

* As with every type of bariatric surgery, the overall quality of life for patients improves greatly

 

Weight Loss and the Vertical Gastric Sleeve (VSG)

* The VSG is a top choice for morbidly obese (BMI over 40) and super-obese (BMI over 50) patients
 

* 47% Excess Weight Loss (EWL) after 12 months and 63 to 70% EWL at three years post-surgery
 

* About 50% EWL in one year, or a BMI loss of 12 points among patients whose starting BMI averaged 44.4
 

* Long-term weight loss results appear promising: super-obese patients in one study had an average of 46% EWL after 8 years
 

* The Gastric Sleeve is restrictive and it affects your appetite hormones
 

* Restrictive: The small sleeve fills up quickly when you eat so that your brain is faster to recognize that you’ve eaten enough
 

* Hormonal: Changes some of the hormones that affect your hunger and satiety

No more diets, no more fads. No more forced limitations. Now a surgical procedure to to kick start me into a new lifestyle in which counselors continue to assist me in living my best and healthiest life even after the procedure is completed to ensure that I do not slip or revert back into old tendencies.

The cost of this procedure will put me back into debt significantly. Insurance will not assist me in the USA. My deductible is too high to make a difference even if they wouldn’t deny me the procedure and force me to wait more than a year. But, I believe going into debt for this procedure is worth it, to have the promise or at least the best hope of continued life, and especially improved quality of life. But I am creating this page with a plea to those who have an extra coin they are willing toss my way to offset the burden of the costs of this procedure, might consider assisting me. Every penny counts to eliminating the crushing debt for me, and it is my admittance to the weakness I have suffered this world by my personal failure to achieve a healthy lifestyle by willfully neglecting my own health.

But I have to start somewhere, anew and fresh. I have finally admitted that I have a problem. And I am most sorry that it has ended here at the last-resort. I have to be able to tell myself that I did something to improve my health before I perish from this earth. I have to try to live as many years as I can, for my brothers and sisters, for my nephew. For my friends. I can’t die before my parents and cause them the pain of losing their child before their time has come.

If you have read this story, I thank you. If you cannot donate, or simply do not wish to, then please send a good thought my way. And even if you don’t have one of those for me, because Lord knows I do not deserve your consideration, then know that I have only good thoughts and kind regards for you.

God Bless you who read through this.