CuddleCot in honor of Everett Cole
10/10/2024: We are so happy to annouce we have met our final goal! We could not have made this happen without the generous donations both with and without GoFundMe from all of you. Being able to give back to the community that has been beyond supportive to our son and our little family is helping us cope with our devasting loss. But we know that our son is so proud of us!
The CuddleCots and Cuddleblanket was just ordered! This version of the CuddleBlanket has not entered the US yet as this is a UK based company so we are one of the first to bring this version into the States and more importantly, into our small community. We wish that no one has a need for these products but unfortunately realize that they will be needed and used. Please share the message of what these products are, their importance, and the fact that they can be a practical reality when facing a loss. While ordering these products, I had to confirm the payment with our bank. I first had to state the most recent payment on our bank account for security purposes: the company we ordered Everetts urn from.. The representative then had to confirm the company we were sending the payment to. He told me that he looked up the company and wanted to ensure we were sending money to a "body cooling and preservation company" with an unsure and uneasy tone that this might be the wrong company that we typed it. This provided me the opportunity to share Everetts story, what these items are, and how they are used. I could feel that he was taken back given the lapse of time after I explained our situation. He apologized empathetically and said he could not imagine as he has smaller children. While I resonate with this conversation, I recognize how "not normal" our lives are. During a several minute conversation to just confirm a payment, I had to recognize that I am purchasing the "home" for our sons physical body, describe how we lost our son several weeks ago, and how I am now buying 3 products used for preserving deceased bodies. The "new normal" that Jansen and I are developing is not an easy process, nor is it a process that will ever end. The grief of losing a child will never leave as with love comes grief. We will forever carry him in our hearts and minds for as long as both shall live and are actively keeping him in our daily routines. Everyday we will be learning to live without our son and everyday will be a reminder of the experiences we are missing out on. We are now parents to an angel baby and while we may not physically look any different, we are learning to recognize ourselves again in so many ways.
In a book about grief, a statistic showed that there are still countries that do not allow families to see their child or baby after they pass as they feel that it is better for the parents emotional health. From our experience, being given the time to process the reality, take the time to part our ways, and be given the time to parent Everett was beyond beneficial for our health, grief, and sorrows. Everett unfortunately passed peacefully away about 3.5 hours after his birth on the Sunday evening he was born. We were blessed until Friday morning with his body. While we had no physical feedback from him, we were still able to be his parents and care for his body. We dressed him, bathed him, held him, and soaked in every moment with his perfect physical features as we prepared for his end of life services. Maryland law allows for family members to care for the body of the deceased prior to burial or cremation; just like many other countries honor home vigils. Being able to keep our son home with us and be the parents to his physical body instead of a hiring an undertaker to do this job gave us more purpose. The acceptance of our "new normal" gives our purpose as parents a new meaning that is different than most parents experience. But we share alot of similarities: loving our children, caring for our children, and wanting to talk about our children, our time was just cut short. Having the opportunity to a CuddleCot, gave us so many more seconds, minutes, hours, and days with our son than we would have imagined during this time. Thank you for helping us bring a glimpse of joy to other parents experiencing this unfortunate event as there is never a right time to say goodbye.
(9/21/24)- We could not believe our eyes when we saw that we met another goal within a day! Hospice of Washington County is now blessed with a CuddleCot to use with those families who have infants who passed. When we say the time we had with Everett was absolutely invaluable, there are really no words to describe it. Without the privilege of borrowing the only cooling cot in Washington County and also the first family to take it home, we would not have been able to introduce Everett to his home, create everlasting memories, and form a deeper connection and bond with him. We seriously can not say thank you enough to each and everyone of you that donated thus far. And we know his legacy is only beginning. CuddleCot also has a CuddleBlanket that can be used for infant, children, and adults to spend the invaluable gift of time with their loved ones following passing without immediately being placed in a morgue. We feel called that this is our next gift to Washington County. The goal has been updated to reflect the new total of 2 CuddleCots and 1 CuddleBlanket. Families should be allowed the quality time that they deserve saying goodbye to their loved ones and often feel rushed in the process of parting. Let's help these families be emotionally and physically ready to say goodbye. We know that Everett is looking down on each of you that are keeping his legacy alive whether is donating, sharing his story, or spreading this GoFundMe. We are so proud to be his parents and to continue to share his story, love, and strength to help others.
Update (9/20/24)- We will be donating our second CuddleCot to Washington County Hospice to allow the families with the loss of small children to spend increased time with their loved one following their passing. A CuddleCot fits children up to age 1. Hospice anticipates an increased need for these services in upcoming years and we are joyed to work towards the first CuddleCot for Washington County Hospice!
Update- With everyone's overpouring generousity, we met our goal to donate 1 CuddleCot to Meritus Medical Center within 14 hours! We could not feel more blessed to make this dream a reality, thank you everyone who donated. With the large outreach of hearts that our boy is connecting with, we decided to up our goal. We are either going to purchase a second CuddleCot, find another piece of equipment that would benefit loss families, or donate the extra to a local organization that has helped us walk this journey.
Thank you for helping us create a legacy for our precious son!
Our sweet boy, Everett Cole Forsyth, made his arrival September 15th at 6:41 pm! Everett only ever knew love before gaining his angel wings several hours later. We are beyond blessed to be his parents, to carry him through this journey, and to hold and love him for every second of his life.
Everett was diagnosed at his 20 week anatomy scan with a fatal congenital heart defect called hypoplastic left heart syndrome (HLHS). HLHS is a congenital heart defect that occurs when the left side of the heart doesn't develop properly during pregnancy. This prevents the heart from pumping enough blood to the body after birth. After collaborating with the best doctors in the nation, unfortunately the severity of his diagnosis and the complications that followed suit eliminated the surgical option causing us to choose palliative care and make the most out of our time we had left. We parented Everett in exactly every shape and form we wanted to, traveled to all of our favorite places with him, and told him how much we loved him every single day. While we couldn't change the diagnosis, we changed the way we could show him love and just cherish every moment that we were given.
Everett taught us all that life is too short, life is so meaningful, and all that truly matters is the love and support from others. While our situation is very unique, we are beyond thankful to be his parents and wouldn't change that for the world. During his time with us, we were able to bring him home, introduce him to all of his furry brothers and sisters, baptize him, bless him with a footprint and bubble ceremony, create many memory items, and take so many family photos. Everett also decided to make his arrival on his uncles birthday, second cousins birthday, and his grandparents anniversary!
While there are not enough words or ways to express our thanks to all of those involved in our journey, our little family would like to give thanks to ALL of our family members, friends, neighbors, and coworkers who walked alongside us during this journey. Our parents and siblings were very much our backbone in handling the fluctuation of emotions and supported our extensive planning, parenting, and wishes. The team at Children's National, Children's Hospital of Philadelphia, and Texas Children's for educating us on his diagnosis. The many photographers and ultrasound techs that helped capture all the memories of our son. The lovely team at Meritus Medical Center who delivered our son, Washington County Hospice for giving us the chance to take our son home and join us at our home for a blessing and baptism, and Thompsons Funeral home for their comforting support to plan for birth and end of life services all at once. We had a wonderful private midwife, doula, and videographer who supported us through this journey from the beginning and loved our son as much as we do.
At this time, we ask to please keep us in your thoughts and prayers while we grieve the loss of our beautiful son. Please keep sympathy, condolences, and reaching out to us to a minimum, it's very unfortunate to lose our baby boy but we feel honored and celebratory to give our boy his fighting chance, to meet his little personality, and watch him show us how strong he is. The name Everett means strong, wild, and brave and he lived up to those meanings in every way possible. He is our little guardian angel flying high with so many family members looking down on us and we can't wait to give him hugs and kisses again.
We hope to be able to keep his memory alive in so many ways. The first of many is collecting donations to be able to purchase Meritus Medical Center a CuddleCot specifically for families in similar situations as ours to have the option of taking their baby home. A CuddleCot is a portable cooling unit that helps families spend more time with their baby after loss. It's designed to keep a baby cool by placing a mat on top of a bassinet used to preserve the body. We had the fortunate experience to be able to borrow the hospitals only cuddle cot to take Everett home for several days to bond, make memories, and part ways in the time and fashion that we wanted. And we want to make this a realistic and normal experience for all families experiencing loss to cherish the time they have with their angel. Any donation is beyond appreciated and none is too small to help contribute to the legacy and memory of our precious son. Thank you for your never ending love and support to our little family