September 4th, 2021 — Ellieanna entered this world! She was a healthy little baby although a hard labor, I would do it over again just to have her back.

 

November 1st, 2021 ; our beautiful baby girl had been taken from us unexpectedly. She was 1 month & 28 days old. We were lucky to have her, even for a short time! No mother or father should ever have to feel this heartache. Feeling like you failed to protect your innocent little baby is one of the worst feelings in the world. Never would I wish this on any parent!

 

Oh, the sights and sound of the hospital room still play in my head, hearing her first cry and changing her first diaper, but it’s all so painful, I miss her so much! I close my eyes and I still feel her on my chest! If there’s anything I learned from this … it’s that death doesn’t ask, what you’d prefer, who should go first, if you’re ready or if you’re willing, or what you’d give instead. Death doesn’t ask!

 

I’m afraid to fall asleep and to wake up. I’ve memorized every pattern on my ceiling and I haven’t showered in five days. I get up and I go to bed and she’s not here. I don’t know when her dad & I will be okay or if I ever will be, we miss her with every breath.

we appreciate everyone & all the help we can get!