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I'm Michelle, Evelyn's mother. Evelyn was a very special little girl who was taken way way too soon. Here is our story together and everything we went thru to the very end.

From the beginning of the pregnancy I had lots of complications. At 9 weeks I had a hematoma and had a huge bleed that I was convinced was a miscarriage but I was wrong and my girl was so strong and still with me. At 16 weeks I started with modified bedrest and progesterone to help ward off contractions and possible cervical insufficiency. At 18 weeks I had a scan to check my cervix and it was discovered that my cervix was very short and started dilating at that point. The only hope I had was to get the cerclage (stitch) to hold my cervix closed and go on strict bedrest and pray miss Evelyn stayed growing. I was so grateful for each week we made it. At 23 weeks I was admitted to the hospital with preterm labor. I was terrified to deliver so early but after lots of medication the contractions slowed. I struggled from then until 29 weeks with daily preterm contractions, severe debilitating anxiety, and just constant worry about my baby girl. I was in and out of the hospital more times than I can count. At 29 weeks we were admitted and treated for contractions again. Then at 31 weeks I was in full labor. The hospital prepared for birth, I got steroids to help lung development and many other meds to slow contractions. Ultimately my body responded and my contractions spaced out to every 20 min which is where they stayed for weeks. I got medicine to take at home so I wouldn't have to burden everyone in the hospital. A few days before Evelyn passed I called my doctor as I was having very painful contractions. Unfortunately because I was in and out of the hospital everyone assumed it would subside. I too started doubting myself, I took medicine and just convinced myself I was over reacting. The night of January 31st I laid in bed struggling my belly, feeling her kick. It was genuinely a beautiful time and one I'll cherish for the rest of my life. Around 630am Evelyn moved quite aggressively and immediately after I had a huge painful contraction. I knew something wasn't right, my belly stayed in this huge contraction and never relaxed as it should have! I got worried Evelyn wasn't wiggling, as she usually did. I grabbed my home doppler and tried to reassure myself that she was OK. I found her heart beat but it was so slow I started to immediately freak out. That sound will forever haunt me, hearing my poor innocent baby girl slowly dying inside and me powerless to stop it! I drove as fast as I possibly could to the hospital. It was excruciating but I hoped and begged God to please spare Evelyn and let her live! I begged God to punish me not her! I just wanted her to be safe! I got to the hospital and my worst fear was coming true. They couldn't find her beating heart. They checked with the ultrasound and I could hear the panic in my doctors voice. I looked up at the screen in that moment and saw nothing, complete silence, my baby girl was gone and it was all on me. Evelyn was delivered via cesarean at 11:15 am on 2/1/23, a perfect 6lb7oz healthy beautiful girl.

These past few days have been hell. I never in a million years could've planned for this. I just want my baby girl with me but I can't have that. We simply do not have the means for cremation or a service to honor Evelyn. Being on bedrest the past 4 months have completely depleted all of our finances and now we are left with nothing. I am hopeful I can give Evelyn a nice casket, service and then she can be cremated and placed in a beautiful urn that I can have with me. I miss my baby girl so much and I know this pain will follow me thru my life. I hope one day to see Evelyn again and be able to hug and kiss her as I should have.

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Thank you for reading Evelyns story and thank you for all your prayers. I hope one day to be able to forgive myself but for now that's just not possible.