Final expensese & Celebration of life for Lori Cox

Taking a step back to Sept 14th 2023.  Moved mom to oxford health and rehab center cause her care needs were beyond what we could handle at home    Shout out to the amazing home health nurses as well as the hospice crew that have aided in helping us keep her home as long as we've been able to❤️   From there there were some adjustments for everyone but her good days were still out weighing her bad days until about March 22nd when her responses started getting few and far between until she stopped all together by March 26th.  Ran up there to find she had lost her chord and block to charge her phone...  got new charger and set her up but it didn't last long.   By the morning of March 28th she went silent again.   Came up here and you could tell she was there but struggling to put together what I was saying and respond.   We thought she might have another infection based on this behavior so they collected urine.   UA was neg but they were waiting on the culture to make sure nothing grew that required treatment.   Culture was neg so I asked for a kidney panel to see how much her function has declined but mom refused to give blood several times over next couple days.   Which brings us to the present....

04/08/2024 hit her hard and fast

(11:30am)

Hospice nurse called twice, left 1 vm, and text me to call her.  From that call it only got worse :(    Mom is declining and rapidly at that.  Her o2 stats are running about 89, BP is fairly normal for her current state, the UA was neg as well as the culture.   Her nurse said this morning she appeared to be resting so she did her other patients and circled back to her.   Another nurse had her up giving a bed bath and it's like the lights are on but no ones home.   She tried to eat but once she put food in her mouth it was like she had forgotten what to do from there.  She refused bloodwork, multiple times before she got like this, to check her kidney function to see how far it's declined.   

04/09/2024

(522am) She stares intently like she's trying to talk to u but other times she stares like she doesn't know u. Still taking water but it's getting harder and harder for her to swallow. 

Nurse (8am): I went ahead and checked on her this morning. Looks a little worse this morning. She has started to have a fever, which is a very normal thing to see happen. I will be back up there in about an hour and will check on her again.

930am left work to be with mom

04/10/2024

(1130am)

Nurse: Her lungs are sounding worse at this point.  I talked to her nurse, and we are going to give the morphine and Ativan to keep her very comfortable 

 (1147pm)

Her temp is fluctuating, and she hasn't consumed any solids today but I've gotten some water (although very little, it's still more than nothing) in her. Her breathing is very crackley and her lungs are filling with the fluid her kidneys can't filter out but she's still hanging in there.   

04/11/2024 (5am)

Was putting chapstick on her and u can see the fluids in back of her throat now. I've asked the nurse about suction or something and she said she has to call respiratory to get the stuff to do it but she's working on it. Rolled her back onto her side trying to help her breath better in the meantime

She took her last breath at 5:37am 04/11/2024 as I laid next to her playing cat videos for her to enjoy like the good ol days.

And just like that my mother was gone.... all that was left was sorrow and depression mixed with worry, guilt, and anxiety as I sit crying over her    did she know how much I loved her?    I pray she forgives me for being a rough child to raise.   I pray she forgives me for not being able to keep her home till the end.   How long will I be able to pretend I'm ok before I crumble in a puddle of tears?    How long before my kids start asking to visit granny and I have to explain she gained her wings?   How can I keep pushing forward knowing mom's no longer here to share the joys, and sorrows, of our chaotic lives with?  

Wasn't long before the tears flooded harder as I learned the funeral home had to be paid up front before they will do anything which was $850 just to have her cremated (which I can NOT thank Patsy Abbott, LeAnne Abbott, and Deena Krier enough for covering her cremation cost so I can at least bring her home and let her rest ) to honor her last wishes she wanted a service but that alone added $2000 to a balance we already didnt have and couldn't pay....    then I learned mom had outstanding facility fees of $3304 from the first 2 months she was with the facility without income or insurance coverage to pay for her staying there..... 

I should be mourning my mother but instead I'm just wading in a swamp of hows.... why's.... and what am I going to do now followed by how am I going to do all this....?  We are already struggling as it is so how can I fit in more payments to an already thin budget?    

I know times are tough for everyone but once more I reach out to all my family, friends, as well as anyone who has ever gotten the chance to know and love mom before all of this chaos started.....    if anyone has anything, no matter how small, they can or would like to donate towards mom's final expenses it would be greatly appreciated Saying a prayer on her behalf or even just hitting the share button to spread the word would be deeply appreciated