Creative Anxiety
Donation protected
Hello. If you are reading this "Gofundme" page, then I am already grateful for your time.
My Story
I suffer from generalized anxiety disorder. It has not been easy to live with nor has it been easy to explain. Anxiety isn't always visible, thus it is hard to receive help for the disorder. Harder still to seek out help when you are too nervous to ask. For me it has been a cycle. Even for just signing up on this site is nerve wracking. Due to my anxiety I needed an outlet. I had lost all passion for the things I once considered doing., due to the anxiety and failure to speak up, thinking others will claim it didn't exist or understand what it is like to live with more than just a "natural" response to any given situation. My creative spark was gone despite me still enjoying activities such as Martial Arts, Sports, Programming, game design, and the activity that pains me the most, drawing. Video Games, Gaming and the stories within was the only interest I was able to keep, but barely. Severe Anxiety started to take my last option. I often avoid playing online games due to how toxic the gaming community can be. I felt horrible when I realized I was avoiding certain aspects of games due to my anxiety of dealing with horrible people online.
I Recently lost my job due to a closure of the department I was in. I transferred to a new department and was still good at the job and it was easy work. But during this period of extreme stress at home, work just pressed on my nerves too much. At the moment I am no longer employed. When the department was shut down, about 75% of the employees either chose to immediately look for new jobs or just quit entirely with no work in sight. Many of my coworkers accepted the job due to the lack of interaction with customers due to their own anxieties. And speaking to many of them, they were all very creative people but were afraid of reaching their dreams...they were afraid in general. Due to the lack of employment, and with a few conversations I had an idea. Today I finally mustered the courage to come here and ask for help,
My Goal
The ultimate goal is to develop an environment where all artist with hidden anxieties, disorders or physical limitations can come together and enjoy their passions with support for others who understand and will be willing help them meet their dreams as well.
For now I want to start small. I set the goal to $500 despite what was recommended. I need to feel like there are people who understand that this is difficult. Not just for myself, but for everyone who lacks or loss the confidence and passion for their dreams. This money will initially go to furthering my education to produce content and help others do the same. Any income after will go to better resource to advance my goal (domains, programming, and buying advertisement slots) and to supplement income so I can focus solely on this dream.
If the goal is met, then I will be able to proceed to not just targeting gamers with anxiety, but also other mediums. This includes painters, music artist, thespians, models, etc. Any thing of creative nature.
I want to get my passions back, and ultimately help others to do so. I want to entertain with my videos, vlogs, and essays. There many youtube gamers, who lost their lives due to their hidden anxieties and depression. There are too many starving artist out there, who don't know how much support they can receive. I want to create an iron circle where these individuals have another layer of protection and hope out there, made by people who truly understand. Any goal I set if this one is met out there will not just go to me. It will go to talented individuals who are ready to take that jump as well knowing that there are some good people in the world. My entire life, I was the person that others leaned, but had no one myself that I could lean on. Even if this gets $1 I would be happy knowing that at least there is someone who understands and that I was finally able to get someone to help me help others.
I go by the Handle name Gemini Zero. I truly appreciate your time.
My Story
I suffer from generalized anxiety disorder. It has not been easy to live with nor has it been easy to explain. Anxiety isn't always visible, thus it is hard to receive help for the disorder. Harder still to seek out help when you are too nervous to ask. For me it has been a cycle. Even for just signing up on this site is nerve wracking. Due to my anxiety I needed an outlet. I had lost all passion for the things I once considered doing., due to the anxiety and failure to speak up, thinking others will claim it didn't exist or understand what it is like to live with more than just a "natural" response to any given situation. My creative spark was gone despite me still enjoying activities such as Martial Arts, Sports, Programming, game design, and the activity that pains me the most, drawing. Video Games, Gaming and the stories within was the only interest I was able to keep, but barely. Severe Anxiety started to take my last option. I often avoid playing online games due to how toxic the gaming community can be. I felt horrible when I realized I was avoiding certain aspects of games due to my anxiety of dealing with horrible people online.
I Recently lost my job due to a closure of the department I was in. I transferred to a new department and was still good at the job and it was easy work. But during this period of extreme stress at home, work just pressed on my nerves too much. At the moment I am no longer employed. When the department was shut down, about 75% of the employees either chose to immediately look for new jobs or just quit entirely with no work in sight. Many of my coworkers accepted the job due to the lack of interaction with customers due to their own anxieties. And speaking to many of them, they were all very creative people but were afraid of reaching their dreams...they were afraid in general. Due to the lack of employment, and with a few conversations I had an idea. Today I finally mustered the courage to come here and ask for help,
My Goal
The ultimate goal is to develop an environment where all artist with hidden anxieties, disorders or physical limitations can come together and enjoy their passions with support for others who understand and will be willing help them meet their dreams as well.
For now I want to start small. I set the goal to $500 despite what was recommended. I need to feel like there are people who understand that this is difficult. Not just for myself, but for everyone who lacks or loss the confidence and passion for their dreams. This money will initially go to furthering my education to produce content and help others do the same. Any income after will go to better resource to advance my goal (domains, programming, and buying advertisement slots) and to supplement income so I can focus solely on this dream.
If the goal is met, then I will be able to proceed to not just targeting gamers with anxiety, but also other mediums. This includes painters, music artist, thespians, models, etc. Any thing of creative nature.
I want to get my passions back, and ultimately help others to do so. I want to entertain with my videos, vlogs, and essays. There many youtube gamers, who lost their lives due to their hidden anxieties and depression. There are too many starving artist out there, who don't know how much support they can receive. I want to create an iron circle where these individuals have another layer of protection and hope out there, made by people who truly understand. Any goal I set if this one is met out there will not just go to me. It will go to talented individuals who are ready to take that jump as well knowing that there are some good people in the world. My entire life, I was the person that others leaned, but had no one myself that I could lean on. Even if this gets $1 I would be happy knowing that at least there is someone who understands and that I was finally able to get someone to help me help others.
I go by the Handle name Gemini Zero. I truly appreciate your time.
Organizer
Gemini Zed
Organizer
San Antonio, TX