A little over a year ago, Larissa and I were looking forward to the next steps of our relationship. We had an offer accepted on a house, we were planning on an engagement once we had settled in, and we wanted to start a family. The day of the home inspection, Larissa woke with a headache and a little light headedness. Mentally, I chalked it up to anxiety over the inspection and told her to rest while I went to check it out. The inspection went well, but there were some big things that would need to be taken care of before long including regrading the ground around the foundation and replacing the fuse box. When I got home, I didn't have a chance to tell her the results as she told me she was feeling considerably worse. I asked her if she wanted to go to the hospital, but she said no. I will forever wish I had insisted on it. But you see Larissa has a history with vertigo. During our first year together, Larissa had a bout for around two weeks that kept stuck her at home. While she was sick, I brought her the only foods she felt she could keep down, applesauce no sugar added. She saw a doctor for it and all that came from the visit was a list of exercises to try and reset the ear crystals(didn't know that was a thing) which made Larissa really uncomfortable when doing them. I understand why she didn't think it would help any more this time.

I slept in the guest room that night to give Larissa a better chance at a peaceful sleep since I have a tendency to snore. At around 4am the next morning, Larissa woke me from the doorway and said her head hurt so bad that she couldn't move. I told her I was calling 911 and helped her to the couch in the living room. When the EMTs arrived, I left to get them into the apartment building and during that time Larissa had stood up and tried to make her way back to our bedroom but she put too much weight onto a chair back and she fell to the ground, knocking herself unconscious. It was a terrifying site to see coming back into our home, but the EMTs were quick to verify that she was just knocked out even with our dog Luca standing over her for protection. They got her onto the stretcher and I joined her in the ambulance as they got her set up for the short journey to Methodist. When time came to leave, I knew I couldn't go with. Our apartment was still unlocked, Luca had to be struggling with all the activity that had just occurred and I was still just wearing boxers.

Getting to the ER, Larissa was wide awake and scared, she couldn't recall the events of the morning. I walked her through them and realized she had the memories, just not the proper order of them. In the ER, they told us the culprit was a brain tumor with a cyst, it was blocking the fluid in the brain from moving as it should. The plan was to send her down to Mayo in Rochester since they would be better equipped over the long Memorial Day weekend to handle the multiple surgeries required. They just needed to organize the transport and get the confirmation from Mayo. So we sat in the room with the lights off to protect her from eye strain, and they gave her meds for the pain from the pressure. Around noon, I think, Larissa started making a sound that will haunt my nightmares for the rest of my life. I have never been more scared as she wouldn't respond to me and I slammed the call button and started screaming for a doctor. Quickly, the room flooded with medical personnel and I was pushed out and sent to a different room. I had no idea what was going on and, even though I've had two events in my life in which I thought I could die, I have never been so terrified. After about ten minutes a doctor came in with a priest which fueled my darkest nightmares but instead he told me the plan had changed. She needed help now and they needed to operate. The head of neurosurgery would be there through the long weekend to handle her surgeries. The first surgery to relieve the pressure in her skull was a success. I met her in the ICU with her sister, Ashley. We knew she wouldn't wake up but we wanted her to hear friendly voices. After having been at the hospital for about 14 hours, I finally went home and collapsed on the entry way rug and cried, holding Luca close.

I feel like I've cried every day since. It's been difficult to continue living in our apartment, I found myself starring at the spot the EMTs and I found her on the floor, or the spot on the couch she'd relax, or her desk where she'd work, or her spot on our bed.

Recently, I’ve moved apartments mostly with a mind towards bringing Larissa home. Insurance has stopped covering her stay in a skilled nursing facility even though we hadn’t hit the yearly limit yet and there have been numerous occurrences that have suggested the place isn’t up to the task of properly caring for her. Some of these issues are staffing related, others are of skill/competency, and still there’s just generally caring for the human being laying helpless on the bed.

There has been hope to transfer her to a better facility but honestly, that doesn’t sound likely. Most facilities prefer to take people directly from hospitals rather than a direct transfer and those that do have extreme waitlists. Even if that option does present itself, I have come to believe the best option for her is bringing her home.

Bringing her home would mean we would have direct control on her care, no longer tethered to a facility that seems to be more focused on maintaining her rather than restoring her. The environment would be more comfortable and I would like to think she would have more visitors. As well we could find therapists that fit her needs rather than being what a facility has to offer.

That’s not to say it would not be difficult. We need the equipment to match what she currently requires and we need to be trained in its use. We would need some level of nursing care to make sure her medical needs are being attended to. And we’d need to find therapists to work with her at home, though that is already being investigated as the facility she’s in is ending some of their therapy care.

Most importantly to me, this would make Larissa happy. She doesn’t like the facility she’s in anymore than we do. She’s tired of the uncomfortable air bed, tired of the same few channels to watch; she’s tired of being alone for so much of the time.

This GoFundMe is set up to help cover some of the costs that may arise as part of the process of bringing her home as well as for things that may come up once she’s here. This could be things like the required equipment such as a lift machine to get her out of bed, or some of the therapy we’ll need to find to help her. We are still trying to work with her insurance but they’ve cut her off numerous times during this process which results in a two-week period where she gets no therapy, stalling her progress.

As she heals, we might need other equipment to assist her until she gets back to her life. I’ll keep this updated as much as I can and we also have a CaringBridge to check.

Thank you for any help you can give.